Flight Of The Phoenix

Narrator · Lucille Bluth:The narrator explains Cinco de Cuatro originated as 'a particularly vicious response by a young Lucille Bluth to the Mexican holiday of Cinco de Mayo' — she invented a counter-holiday to deprive Mexican-Americans of party supplies

George Sr. · Lucille Bluth:George Sr. outraged that Rosa is taking Cinco de Mayo off: 'Oh, why can't they just call it May 5? This is what I was talking about. It's all part of the Mexican war on May 5.'

George Sr. · Lucille Bluth:George Sr. rages 'Where the [bleep] are my socks?!' and Lucille responds 'Now it's not so funny, is it?'

Narrator:The narrator delivers a Grinch-parody passage: 'You see, the Hispanics of Newport liked Cinco a lot / but high up on Coast Highway, Lucille Bluth did not... And then Lucille had a horrible thought, a thought that was thoughtless and better to not.'

Narrator · Unknown revelers:'Fill the bay with chorizo. Chorizo dump!'

Narrator:Narrator notes the Festival of Lights is 'another phrase they wanted back'

Narrator · Lucille 2:Lucille 2 is introduced as 'a longtime patron of the Bluth family' and the narrator immediately undercuts this: 'She certainly had demonstrated that with many of the men in the family... even having fallen for a few, although some of that was the vertigo she suffered from. But not all of it.'

Michael Bluth · Lucille 2:Michael says 'I'm gonna have sex with you for money' to Lucille 2

Narrator:Narrator: 'Later that night, after Michael did something unthinkable, he was looking for a place to hide'

Gob Bluth:Gob explains he wanted to rub it in rather than help: 'Well, I wasn't hoping to help. I was hoping to rub it in because of all the unpleasantness.'

Gob Bluth:Gob: 'Oh, damn it, I meant to throw these in the chipper. God, I'm just not into Cuatro this year.'

Gob Bluth:Gob offers to take back Michael's apology in exchange for a chance to humiliate him: 'I'd be willing to let you have your apology back if you give me the chance to try. I mean, I'm gonna need some specifics about the thing that you're ashamed of. Otherwise I'll just be taking general potshots.'

Gob Bluth · Michael Bluth:Gob offers 'bad example': 'if you were ashamed of being in love with a man, suddenly discovered these new feelings, then I might say something like, "Homo much?"' — 'It's not that.' — 'I said "Bad example."'

Narrator · Gob Bluth:Narrator reveals Gob has been taking Forget-Me-Nows (roofies) to erase his own memories: 'Gob had always taken a pill he called a Forget-Me-Now for that... but was commonly known as a roofie.'

Gob Bluth:'John Beard Jr.' — Gob mentions the name cryptically as if it explains how he ran out of roofies, then immediately says 'I don't need to get into it.'

Gob Bluth · Michael Bluth:Gob desperately tries to roofie Michael to make him forget his shame: 'Take this, Michael, forget, forget... Put the mask back on. Forget this, Michael. Forget, forget, Michael. Forget, now is the time to forget. Now you're forgetting. Now you're forgetting.'

Narrator:The 'Arrested Development' theme plays and the title card reads: 'Now, the story of a family whose future was abruptly canceled and the one son who had no choice but to keep himself together.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'Six months before the Forget-Me-Now, Michael had made good on a long-standing threat to go to Phoenix, and even though the Phoenix he went to was online, he still enjoyed the full college experience by living in a dorm room while doing so.'

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth:Michael has tried 'family' as his password: 'George Michael, what is my log-on password again?' / 'I have tried "family." It does not work for me.' / 'No, privacy.'

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth:Michael: 'We have no secrets from each other. We know everything there is to know about each other. We're like twins.' George Michael: 'I don't see us as twins.'

Michael Bluth:Michael points at a student and says 'Look at that guy. He thinks he's a musician' then immediately pivots to praising himself: 'People say I don't age... "Hey, look at that guy. He's got the hair of a teenager." And I say, "Take your best shot" because I think that that's a good thing because I'm self-effacing.'

George Michael Bluth:George Michael: 'Well, it's hard to be self-effacing when you're a perfect specimen of rugged manlessness.'

Campus Housing Staff:The campus housing office gives George Michael a handicap double room because of name confusion: two staff members discuss 'This guy's name is actually George Michael' / 'No, it's two different guys. They're twins, ugly.' / 'We should sign them up for Twin Club. And let's give them the big handicap room.'

George Michael Bluth · Narrator · News Anchor:George Michael mentions wanting to 'wean off the name George Michael' due to embarrassing search results, and the news clip plays: 'It was in this men's room in -- get this -- Beverly Hills that singer George Michael was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover cop.'

Michael Bluth · Narrator · News Anchor:Michael suggests 'Boy George' as an alternative name, and the BBC news clip immediately plays: 'Singer Boy George in the news again today, this time for sexual assault in a men's public bathroom.'

George Michael Bluth:George Michael: 'I think I'll just stick with George Michael. I mean, at least it was consensual.'

Michael Bluth:Michael awkwardly tries to acknowledge that George Michael wants space: 'Um, look, listen, hey, hey, look, look, listen. Listen, look it. Are you listening? You want your space. I get it.' — unable to say it simply

Michael Bluth:Michael's guilt-trip: 'They don't have Internet there, so I'll just put the law school on, on, on pause. It's not like the first time that I've done that. You know, last time I did that, you were born.'

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth:Michael holds up a college shirt and says 'You know, same size — medium. Do you know where mine is? We wear the same size like twi... We're just like twin-- couple of identical...' then trails off as George Michael stares at him

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth:The software George Michael is developing is revealed to be called 'Faceblock' — 'Facebook connects you with everyone, this blocks you from everyone.' Michael: 'Oh, okay. Kind of like the antisocial network, right?' George Michael: 'That's very good. You can use it.'

Michael Bluth:Michael explains his plan: the article about him is in 'Altitude,' OutWest Airlines' in-flight magazine — 'Next to SkyMall, it's, like, the number two most read in all of coach. Well, three with the safety card.'

Michael Bluth:Michael's TGI Friday's Skype joke: 'I got to Skype with my advisor in Phoenix, and if I don't get on right now, he's gonna have to Skype me from a T.G.I. Friday's.'

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth:Michael's emotional journey in 3 seconds: 'Whew. 'Cause that hurt for a second. I was like, he wants me to go. But no. Yeah? No. No... I mean, yeah, I may need some privacy... and that might mean... you going.'

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth:Michael's calendar is 'stuck on 2003': 'It's, like, stuck on 2003, so I don't have "today." I need to jump forward...' George Michael: 'No, I know, there's a button that says "today."' Michael: 'Yeah, this has no button.'

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth:Michael's meal plan card scheme: 'I'm gonna run in, grab a tray, you run around back, make sure you get there in time before my hand stamp dries.'

Michael Bluth:'Well, I missed the hearing... Oh, it just snuck up on me, and then they called, and they wanted me there at eight bells. You know, I thought that was their 5:00 p.m.' Michael's maritime law misunderstanding — he thought 'eight bells' meant 5pm

Michael Bluth:The courtroom 'reverted back to the crab restaurant' after the hearing passed. Michael: 'By the time I got back, the courtroom was reverted back to the crab restaurant.'

Narrator:'Prior to this, his only dream had been to possess the power of flight. But that one turned out to be not as much fun as he thought.' — followed by 'Loose seal! Loose seal!' audio clip

Narrator · Michael Bluth:Michael has a detailed knowledge of maritime law from playing a lawyer in a school play called 'The Trial of Captain Hook' — and before that, 'his only dream had been to possess the power of flight. But that one turned out to be not as much fun as he thought. Watch out for the seal! Loose seal! Loose seal!'

Michael Bluth · George Sr. · Lucille Bluth:George Sr. and Lucille announce they're getting divorced. Michael's response: 'I want to know... [beat] I want to know about the stimulus package.'

Lucille Bluth · Michael Bluth:Lucille: 'Michael, you never accept help from anyone. That's why we didn't cut you in. We didn't want to demean you. It's like tipping an African-American. You wouldn't tip an African-American, would you?' Michael: 'Of course I would.' Lucille: 'On a train?'

Michael Bluth:Michael: 'Even a waiter?' (re: tipping African-Americans) — completely losing track of the moral point in the middle of a bizarre racism tangent

Workers · Michael Bluth:The treadmill is installed, the door is on, and the faux paint is matched — workers leave while the family implodes. Then: 'So long.' followed by a pause and a door closing.

Michael Bluth · Lucille Bluth:Michael: 'And now perjury.' — after Lucille says she just wants him to testify that she was 'a loving mother'

Narrator:Narrator: 'He simply traded his shares of the Bluth company to Lucille 2. Getting himself out, and giving the balance of power to a woman who had no power of balance.'

Michael Bluth · Narrator:Michael dramatically announces 'You know what, I am done with this family' — and then the narrator immediately notes: 'But he did anyway.'

Michael Bluth · Realtor:A realtor visits Sudden Valley and observes: 'Maybe I can give you a tip. Might want to put a road up to this place.' Michael: 'Well, we paved the neighborhood. Just waiting for the city to build a road to it.'

Narrator:The narrator teases disaster: 'Michael truly felt that nothing could go wrong. And then something did. Not that. That happens all the time. This.' — followed by a housing market collapse news segment

Michael Bluth:Visual gag: Michael's ghost-town housing development — a tumbleweed or equivalent sign of abandonment visible as he wanders the empty streets he built

Michael Bluth:'Well, that's not a great sign.' — Michael observes something ominous in the ghost town

Michael Bluth:'This is why you don't confide in a competitor.' — Michael reacts to what appears to be a betrayal shown on a news segment

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth:Michael arrives for Thanksgiving at George Michael's dorm: 'I thought we'd have Thanksgiving here for your senior year.' / 'I don't have a kitchen.' / 'Oh, these are my clothes.'

Michael Bluth:'Pete died.' — Michael announces this after the clothes revelation, as if it's a relevant explanation

Trang · Trang's grandfather:Trang's grandfather living in the dorm: 'Don't go through my stuff, Granddad.' / 'Hey, who do you think paid for your stuff?'

Michael Bluth · P-Hound:P-Hound's roommate says 'There's a computer lab?' simultaneously with Michael saying 'There's a computer lab?'

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth · Maeby Fünke:George Michael's roommate P-Hound suggests a vote on who stays in the dorm room — which Michael immediately co-opts into a political strategy session

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth · Maeby Fünke:Maeby is revealed to be in the dorm: 'There is a kind of girl here.' / 'Didn't say it was your cousin.' / 'Well, he doesn't know.' / 'Now, that's smart. Let him think there's a girl in here.'

Michael Bluth:Michael: 'Wow, you think, you think that he'd vote against me?' — genuinely surprised that P-Hound would vote against him in a vote where Michael is voting against himself

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth · Maeby Fünke:Michael's voting scheme breaks down mathematically — Maeby correctly points out the math error that produces a tie

Michael Bluth:The planning continues through missed organic chemistry class: 'So we got two scenarios. It's either two votes against P-Hound, one vote against Maeby, one against me, with that vote being my own; or if it's two votes against me, then clearly P-Hound is being nasty, that triggers a recount, and then it's a P-Hound blitz.'

Michael Bluth · George Michael Bluth:George Michael tries to say 'Dad, you know, I've really loved living with you...' and Michael immediately cuts him off: 'No talking. No talking once the votes come in. You're just right out the door. That's the missing piece. That's it. This plan is foolproof.'

Michael Bluth · Narrator:The vote begins: Michael reads first vote — 'Michael' — then: 'Huh, what are you gonna do?' Second vote: '...Michael.' Narrator: 'Michael expected this, but didn't expect the sting. Wow.'

Michael Bluth:Third vote: '...Michael.' Followed by a long pause. Then Michael asks: 'Did you mean to write "George Michael"?'

Narrator · Michael Bluth:The narrator wonders why Michael opens the fourth ballot: 'Was it out of hope or confusion?' — and whatever is on it is worse than three Michael votes

Michael Bluth:Visual gag: Michael reads the fourth ballot and is utterly destroyed — we see only his face falling. Long pause. Then he does 'the only thing he could think of to save face.' More silence. Then he leaves.

Michael Bluth · Ticket Agent:Michael goes to the airport to get a copy of Altitude magazine and tries to explain himself to the ticket agent: 'I was mistakenly voted out of a four-person housing situation, uh, in a pack-first, no-talking-after scenario. Does that clear it up for you?'

Ticket Agent · Michael Bluth:Ticket agent: 'That leaves three other votes.' — after Michael explains he voted against himself to spare his son

Michael Bluth · Ticket Agent:Ticket agent refuses to give Michael the magazine: 'We don't even give out honey nuts, so we're not gonna give you a magazine.' Michael: 'Who wants honey nuts?' / 'I don't want the honey nuts.'

Ticket Agent:Ticket agent: 'Oh, okay, yeah, sure, we just, uh, let people walk onto the plane all the time. Do you want a box cutter also?'

Michael Bluth · Ticket Agent:Michael buys a ticket to 'your cheapest destination' — Pittsburgh. Then asks for 'the second cheapest.'

Michael Bluth · TSA Agent:At security: 'But you've got nothing in your luggage.' / 'I wasn't supposed to be traveling today. I told you, it was a voting situation, there was a miscalculation.' / 'Well, I mean, obviously P-Hound's gonna vote against you.'

Michael Bluth:'These three people with burkas just walked right by you.' — Michael redirects the TSA agent's attention to missed security threats while defending himself

Michael Bluth:Michael is assigned a seat without a seat-back pocket — no magazine. He has to ask four passengers back before finding one.

Michael Bluth · Narrator:Michael 'kicked himself for a pose he thought would express humility to Sanjiv, the Altitude photographer' — implying a deeply embarrassing photo in the magazine

Michael Bluth · Narrator:Michael steps out of the Phoenix airport: 'Hope you know a good place to live because I'm... Ooh, dear Lord.' The narrator: 'Whoa, Mother of God! Dear Lord! Whoo!'

Michael Bluth · Lindsay Bluth:Michael returns to the model home at the end. He sees someone: 'Buster.' / 'No... no, Gob.' / 'Oh! It was Lindsay.' — three wrong guesses in a row