Dean Craig Pelton

very dry. very witty. not a great friend.

the blonde with the pouty, strident cate blanchett sexuality and the ridiculous name?

cheers. m.a.s.h. fawlty towers. game over.

much like a university would!

using its $6,000 judge's table!

well, it sounds like there are two biases, one on each side, and i go both ways. oh, let's strike that.

save the table! save the table!

Dean-dong! I'm just checking in to see how the Greendale antidrug players are doing.

So with any luck, we can get rid of all those Charleston Chews in the vending machines.

But as you can see from my outfit, I already have plans, so off to the airport Ramada!

Next time you think about drugs, think about baseball instead.

Jeff Winger is sexy even in a coffin. Mmm!

We've got 50 at-risk preteens, armed with baseballs, chanting for Drugs

A reminder to all candidates: Your microphones are currently on.

Dean Pelton: 'How you like me now, bitches?'

Dean: 'I'm gonna be a mean, lean, deaning machine.'

Dean: 'Homie don't dean this.'

Dean's elaborate monkey hotel fantasy

Dean: 'Spray your solutions all over me.'

Dean: 'I forgot everything you said before "rectum"!'

This is just like that, uh, Lake House movie. I can only assume. Even I have limits.

Off campus, I'm just a craigular Joe.

And call blackmail 'a day at the mall with Craig.'

And you emailed your therapist that you wanted to be alone this weekend.

Oh, oh, now the patriot act says I can do it, Jeffrey... Technically.

No, Jeffrey, no! Don't let the terrorists win!

Oh, hey, Jeff, did you know that when it snows my eyes become large?

I've chosen you, Greendale's brightest, most coincidentally diverse, hispanics not withstanding, study group

Abed, true to form, has decided to do the weird thing and film a documentary instead of helping

If it was, these glasses would be tinted, and I'd be friends with Stevie Nicks

Wowee. A real big time celebrity wants to be in my commercial

Innnnnnnn... IMDb

Luis Guzman is in it

Two females, both 5'10", one brunette, one with asthma

This commercial is going to push every button, starting with the one that is so hot, it will sizzle your finger-- racccccce

I am trying to pull a 400-year-old dagger out of this nation's heart, and you two are hugging

Okay, you get this wrong one more time, I'm segregating the school

I forgot what I am again. Oh, for crying out-- you are a microscope! No, that's a toilet. No, that's clearly a frog who can't get out of a box

But when this is all over, I'll have a commercial with Luis Guzman in it, and all they'll have are their words and their fears and whatever embarrassing photos they can get from my two-faced mother

Go home

Oh, that's a possum. Once you spend some time with them, you see they're just like big, gentle rats

I hold five dances and two talent shows a year because I'm afraid that the school isn't good enough

And I'm sorry what I've done to the ice cream machine. Please, no one eat out of it until you clean the nozzles. The janitor knows how

Can someone help me get a live possum out of my office? It just keeps jumping and skittering. And you think you're prepared, and then it skitters again

It just keeps jumping and skittering. And you think you're prepared, and then it skitters again

This is the second glee club we've lost in two years.

They're this close, Pierce.

Star-Burns got rear-ended and the meth lab in his trunk exploded. He's dead.

Did someone say 'sexy construction worker'?

I'm dressed like this because I'm building to big news.

I was born in a courtroom, sued it for my own placenta, and won.

Judging Amy or Judge Judy?

Blind Justice presiding... aah! Oh, my God! Ahh! Oh, one more recess. I hit the corner right on a fresh tattoo.

No, he's always Dean that.

I can't have an unbalanced nut job traipsing around on my campus! Put that on the rack. Put that in the fridge. Get him out of here!

Oh, now he has me saying it. Amdeansia. Amdeansia... I'm all turned around.

Remember that people can 'Chang'. People can what? Hmm?

Then he became a disgraced student, psychopathic music major, homeless vent dweller, security guard, keytarist, power hungry warlord, and now, Kevin.

I'm developing a theory which some find controversial. Perhaps Chang actually used to be Kevin, went crazy, and became Chang. And then, at some point, Chang hit his head, went un-crazy, thereby reverting back to regular old Kevin again.

so we can continue to fight this terrible disease and hopefully, one day, pay for this documentary.

How was that, Abed? That's too beggy? No, that was great. But I could use a new camera, with a smoother zoom.

ranked America's number two community college by GreendaleCommunityCollege.Com

followed by four years of silence to the press

Maybe you're looking for something that was in front of you the whole time just a pitch.

The Save Greendale Committee. - Working title.

And asbestos reasons, but it's clean as a whistle now.

Okay! So sue me! This ain't Harvard, Jeffrey.

my job is to give a certain number of degrees per year, or we could get shut down. And that would be bad because... Ah, because then I wouldn't have a job.

It's my whole ideantity! I mean, wah, see what I did there? That's proof!

I normally don't condone climbing on furniture, Troy and Abed's friendship has been such a special and magical part of Greendale