Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Julia:Give me another 10 minutes with this lunatic. She's a lunatic. She's a total lunatic.

Julia:You know, I've got to tell you, I don't have any fucking idea.

Julia:We'll look carefully tomorrow, Larry. And those are place mats.

Larry · Julia:Jesus Christ. This looks bad, I know it does. This is my bracelet. Cheryl bought the same bracelet that you-- Julia, I swear to you, I didn't--

Julia:You were supposed to come the other day, and you didn't show up? Okay, can I tell you something, my friend? When you make appointments, keep it! Because now I'm busy, and I can't talk to you anymore. Keep your appointments.

Larry · Julia:'No, we can go back and forth.' 'We don't need back and forth, we'll just do forth. Don't need back.'

Julia · Larry:'You've turned into a very nice man.' 'I'm a lovely gentleman.'

Larry · Julia:The 'Aren't You Evelyn?' TV show pitch

Julia · Larry:I want to be able to say 'fuck,' you know. And I wanna say... 'Cocksucker.' You don't need to say that. Actually, I do. I haven't really gotten to say that a lot.

Larry · Julia:'Gay guy?' 'Gay, no, he's not gay, he's married.' 'I could have sworn he was gay, that guy.'

Larry · Julia · HBO executives:The elaborate greeting ritual at HBO

Larry · Julia:'He implied that I was lying about my stepfather.' 'You don't have a stepfather.' 'But I didn't like the implication.'

Julia:'The implication for your imaginary stepfather? How can he insult you about somebody who's imaginary?'

Julia:'Larry, everybody steals shrimp, and everybody lies about it. This is Hollywood.'

Michael · Larry · Julia:'I guess when they switched them back, Allan had taken seven of your shrimp?' 'That's my claim, yeah.' 'Allegedly.'

Julia:'Because GE will not take responsibility for dumping the PCBs in the Hudson river.'

Julia:'I think that's kind of a misogynist thing to say.'

Julia · Larry:'Cunt's worse.' 'It's not worse, pricks and cunts, they're equal.'

Julia:'Michael Halbreich took a leave of absence... he's shell-shocked... and he's examining everything in his life.'

Larry · Julia:'I thought he was one of those effeminate heterosexuals.' 'There's no such thing as an effeminate heterosexual.'

Jerry · Julia · Michael · Larry:[Dream sequence with cast praising Larry]

Jason · Jerry · Julia · Larry:YEAH, AND THAT NEW LINE-- THE KUMQUAT AND THE QUAIL? YOU'RE AMAZING. YEAH, AMAZING. AMAZING. YEAH, YOU'RE REALLY UNBELIEVABLE, LARRY.

Julia:I HAVE TO TELL YOU, LARRY, I'VE NEVER SEEN A REUNION SHOW THAT WAS NOT TACKY. YEAH, I-- I MEAN, EVERY TIME YOU SEE ONE OF THESE REUNION SHOWS, IT FEELS LIKE THEY'RE DOING IT FOR THE WRONG REASONS.

Julia:I've never seen a reunion show that was not tacky.

Julia · Larry:IS IT CHOMPING OR CHAMPING? I THINK IT'S CHOMP-- CHAMPING? WHAT IS CHAMPING? I THINK IT'S SPELLED 'CHAMPING' BUT PRONOUNCED 'CHOMPING.' NO, IT'S SPELLED 'CHOMPING' AND IT'S PRONOUNCED 'CHOMPING.' NOT SO SURE. I'M SO SURE.

Julia:IT IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE THAT YOU WOULD GRILL MY DAUGHTER GRACIE ABOUT WHETHER I TOOK HER TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY. AND THEN YOU CALL ME A LIAR?

Julia · Larry:DO YOU ALSO FIND IT INTERESTING THAT, IN FACT, I HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS? GRACE AND MARY. I TOOK MARY TO THE BIRTHDAY PARTY. THAT'S INTERESTING.

Julia:Has it ever occurred to you to use a coaster?

Julia:Having said that, I don't really think I'm buying your line of bullshit.

Julia:I have known you since 1983. I know when you are lying. And right now you're doing that thing with your mouth when it's like...

Julia:I will find out and I will drag that person by the hair and bring him into your dressing room soon.