Hoping to bury an unsightly telephone wire dangling over their yard, Larry and Cheryl befriend a pair of bizarre neighbors who must approve the burial. The husband is an incompetent lawyer but a big Seinfeld fan, so to appease him Larry arranges to have Julia Louis-Dreyfuss come for a visit. But when the actress arrives, the lawyer is missing; he's been hired to defend Jeff in a case involving a destructive kid Jeff sponsored for a Fresh Air Fund camp. At Larry's house, Julia ends up buying a bracelet from the lawyer's wife -- the same kind Larry wanted in episode 4 -- only to later accuse Larry of stealing it after he buys a similar one for Cheryl.
WAR
61.6
Wins Above Replacement
“The Wire” ranks #50 of 120 Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.0 — Elite. The episode packs 54 scored jokes at 1.6 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Larry: He's a eunuch. Yes. His testicles were cut off when he was about 13 because he was in the Beth Shalom choir. And that's what he wanted to be, he was a choirboy.
Larry Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Julia: You were supposed to come the other day, and you didn't show up? Okay, can I tell you something, my friend? When you make appointments, keep it! Because now I'm busy, and I can't talk to you anymore. Keep your appointments.
Julia Irony/Sarcasm Escalation Callback Larry · Julia: Jesus Christ. This looks bad, I know it does. This is my bracelet. Cheryl bought the same bracelet that you-- Julia, I swear to you, I didn't--
Larry: They'll talk on the phone, go out to dinner, go to the movies? Start e-mailing each other? Summer vacations? Is he out of his fucking mind?
Larry Escalation Observational ★ Rewatch Larry: He set fire to the canteen and his cabin.
Larry Escalation Irony/Sarcasm All Jokes — 54 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry · Jeff · Cheryl: I sponsored a kid from the inner city to go to summer camp. You sponsored an inner-city kid? An underprivileged kid. You're kidding. No. I'm completely nonplussed. Is that the right word?
Larry: He set fire to the canteen and his cabin.
Larry Escalation Irony/Sarcasm Cheryl: You do one nice thing. I assume it's the first nice thing you've ever done.
Cheryl Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Larry: I tried to stop a woman who was about to get hit by a car, I screamed, 'Watch out!' And she said, 'Don't you tell me what to do!'
Larry Observational Absurdist Larry: I'm out of the nice now, after a fire.
Larry Character Comedy Callback Callback Larry · Jeff: If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro is a bad maniac. Not a good maniac. That's not a good maniac.
Dean: I'm finally in the house that Jerry Seinfeld built. With his own hands, and some hammers. He actually worked on it, like Jimmy Carter.
Dean Absurdist Observational Dean · Larry: Is that Swiss coffee or vanilla bean? I think it's Chocolate Cho-Cho.
Dean Larry Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Larry: I'm gonna get a divorce, I'm telling you. I can't take her anymore!
Larry Escalation Character Comedy Dean: Kismet. Isn't that what it's called?
Dean Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Larry: A lot of people sue me. I'm very vulgar and... You might wind up suing me.
Larry Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dean: She's not just beautiful, and she's not just talented. She's sublime.
Dean Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Larry: Like you want to get something buried, you don't know if it's guaranteed. You don't even know if that... There's a lot of papers to be signed.
Larry Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry Escalation Reaction Beat Larry: They'll talk on the phone, go out to dinner, go to the movies? Start e-mailing each other? Summer vacations? Is he out of his fucking mind?
Larry Escalation Observational ★ Rewatch Cheryl: One phone call, one small favor to make this house completely perfect.
Cheryl Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Cheryl: 10:00 is the cut-off time. You don't call people after 10:00. No, the cut-off time is 10:30. They have kids. You don't call after 10:00. No, 10:30.
Cheryl: How'd that work out for you?
Cheryl Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat Callback Jeff: You've got me some expensive idiot lawyer, so you can have your wire dropped down. I know your games.
Jeff Character Comedy Callback Larry: You want a prick, and this guy's a prick. Look at you. You're a prick, you're doing a good job. Are you a prick or not?
Larry Character Comedy Escalation Jeff: He burned down the canteen, and the cabin, but they were both accidents.
Jeff Absurdist Callback Callback Larry: Get the kid to burn my house, so I don't have to worry about the wire.
Larry Dark/Subversive Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Phyllis Cringe/Discomfort Misdirection Phyllis: And its tail had been trapped when the gardener came over... It had been trapped in the lawnmower...
Phyllis: I don't wanna talk about Mittens. I've got a better idea. Hey, brainstorm. Phyllis has just had a complete... I don't know why I didn't think of this. Camcorder.
Phyllis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Julia: Give me another 10 minutes with this lunatic. She's a lunatic. She's a total lunatic.
Julia Reaction Beat Escalation Larry: He's a eunuch. Yes. His testicles were cut off when he was about 13 because he was in the Beth Shalom choir. And that's what he wanted to be, he was a choirboy.
Larry Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Julia: You know, I've got to tell you, I don't have any fucking idea.
Julia Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Larry · Jeff: What the hell are you doing over there? He's supposed to be here! I can't kick him out, we've got business to do. What do you mean? I've got Julia Louis-Dreyfus in his house waiting for him!
Phyllis: I was gonna get this. I've never turned a piece of jewelry around this fast.
Phyllis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Cheryl · Larry: I guess Julia will have to come back over. You'll have to arrange another meeting. Are you out of your mind now? Get Julia back over there? You think I'm gonna ask her again to do this?
Larry: I'm not pushing, 2 minutes is pushing. 10 minutes is not pushing. That's not a push. That is right in the wheelhouse. I have 10 minutes before the cut-off time.
Larry Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: I got to tell you, I never heard of a 9:30 cut-off.
Larry Callback Observational ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Brad: Most people have a 10:00 or 10:30 cut-off. I think 9:30 with kids is great. Seems like an early cut-off to me. And for visitors, it's more like 9:00.
Larry Brad Escalation Observational ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Brad: Most people have a 10:00 or 10:30 cut-off. I think 9:30 with kids is great. Seems like an early cut-off to me. It's pretty standard. And for visitors, it's more like 9:00.
Larry Brad Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Brad: Most people have a 10:00 or 10:30 cut-off. I think 9:30 with kids is great. Seems like an early cut-off to me.
Larry Brad Callback Observational ★ Rewatch Callback Brad: And for visitors, it's more like 9:00.
Brad Escalation Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Julia: We'll look carefully tomorrow, Larry. And those are place mats.
Julia Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Larry: Did you find a little brown pad, it has a little black trimming on the side?
Larry Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Susie: I just can't believe that I have to deal with this! He has ransacked our entire house! Do you know what he took, Jeffrey? Do you wanna know what this little shit took?
Susie Escalation Character Comedy Callback Susie: Everything's gone! My wedding video is gone because your fat-fuck manager over here let an asshole kid into our house, okay?
Susie Escalation Character Comedy Callback Susie · Larry: What the fuck was that about, calling at 10:20 at night the other day? I thought the cut-off was 10:30. You know I have trouble sleeping?
Susie · Larry: Who is this schmuck, fuck-face lawyer you set us up with? I could see how one could interpret that as a serious error in judgment.
Susie: She brought it over from Russia, from a pogrom. She was in steerage. If that's gone, I'm gonna be hysterical. She worked hard all her life to give that to me!
Susie Escalation Character Comedy Susie: It's gone, you fucking, motherfucking... I'll kill you, Jeff! You're a cocksucker, motherfucker! My grandmother's brooch is missing. I could not replace this item.
Susie Escalation Character Comedy Susie · Larry: What if something you cared about was missing? You don't give a shit about anything! My baseball cards. All right. See? Now, it's not so funny anymore. Mickey Mantle might not be there.
Susie: Like the fucking 3-year-old that you are. 'I don't care about the money.' Will you shut up? Fuck you!
Susie Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Susie: Like the fucking 3-year-old that you are. 'I don't care about the money.'
Susie Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Larry · Julia: Jesus Christ. This looks bad, I know it does. This is my bracelet. Cheryl bought the same bracelet that you-- Julia, I swear to you, I didn't--
Julia: You were supposed to come the other day, and you didn't show up? Okay, can I tell you something, my friend? When you make appointments, keep it! Because now I'm busy, and I can't talk to you anymore. Keep your appointments.
Julia Irony/Sarcasm Escalation Callback Dean · Larry: That was maybe an encounter, but that's not a meeting. I don't know why you're quibbling about semantics here. You met her. It was an unpleasant meeting, it wasn't a long meeting, but it was, nevertheless, a meeting.
Dean: There's a reward involved in that. Look right in the front part. It says, '$500 to the person who returns this to L. David.' I put two and two together and thought the 'L' stood for Larry.
Dean Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Dean: Maybe you can get yourself a new sweater. It's 'E-I.' Weinstock.
Larry · Dean: I'll get a check, Sherlock. Perfect, check is fine. Maybe you can get yourself a new sweater.
Larry Dean Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Top Episodes — Curb Your Enthusiasm