Thank You For Your Service

Sal · Larry:Sal's enthusiastic but awful Revolutionary War British accent attempts: 'Oi, is that... move that gun over here... and get ready. We're going.' vs 'Gentlemen, strike the flagstaff deep, Sir Knight.'

Larry:Larry's confessional about being trapped in conversations with Sal: 'The worst mistake I ever made was rolling down that window, in the first place. Just to be nice!'

Larry:Larry's dark confession: 'Secretly, I wish ill things on him so I don't have to do this anymore. It's a terrible thought, but that's what I think.'

Larry · Friend:Larry challenging his friend about reading John Adams biography: 'I don't think you read it in the first place.' 'What is this, "Dragnet"?'

Larry · Waiter:Larry's neurotic chef face request: 'if the chef makes a face of any kind, okay, just tell him to forget it and sauté it.'

Larry · Ken · Others:Larry's baby comment: 'You know, she looks a little Asian.'

Larry · Ken:Larry doubling down: 'I'm not saying... something's on about it. It's good. It's a good thing.' 'That's a compliment.' 'She's exotic. I wish I looked a little Asian.'

Larry · Ken:Larry's non-apology: 'It's my fault for offending you. I apologize. But she does look a little Asian.'

Larry · Jean:Mail carrier correction exchange: 'Are you, uh... are you the new mailman?' 'Mailwoman?' 'Mail carrier.'

Larry · Jean:Larry's mother story: 'my mother used to encourage me to work in the post office when I was younger 'cause she didn't think I could amount to anything.'

Larry · Jean:Larry's anti-stickler rant: 'Don't be such a stickler. Why are you being such a stickler? Do you think that's a good quality, stickling? Don't stickle. Don't be a stickler.'

Larry · Jean:Larry's dating advice: 'if you were going on a computer date, one of those things, and you put down "stickler," nobody would call you.'

Jeff · Susie · Richard:Jeff's mysterious kitchen praise: 'You, especially, are going to appreciate it.' 'Why are you especially?' 'I have no fucking idea.'

Larry · Richard:Richard's garbage woman story revelation and Larry's disbelief: 'I never even saw a garbage woman in my life. You make up this story to me about fucking a garbage woman?'

Larry · Sammi:Larry's 'save the date' rant: 'That's so stupid. I don't save dates. The whole system's screwed up. You don't need to send me something to tell me you're gonna send me something, just send it.'

Larry · Sammi:Larry's communication analogy: 'If I'm saying something to you, I don't say to you, "I'm gonna say something to you," and then say it. I just say it.'

Richard · Neighbors · Larry · Victor:Multiple 'thank you for your service' repetitions and Larry's silence

Jeff · Larry:Jeff confronting Larry: 'You didn't thank him for his service, asshole'

Victor · Larry:Victor's confrontation: 'You didn't thank him for his service, asshole. They thanked him. Three people thanked him. Why do I have to thank him?'

Larry · Susie:Larry's sarcastic thanks series: 'Thank you for serving the hors d'oeuvres. Thank you for being a very good manager. Thank you for coming over in this brisk weather.'

Larry · Jean:Larry's mail caddy idea: 'You could use a caddy on the route. They carry the mail for you... I'll mail caddy for you.'

Mail Carrier · Larry:The movie theater candy mixing concept

Larry · Jean:Larry's beckoning argument: 'Just wave. You gotta go like this so I can see you. Just look around. I'm right here. You... I can't see anything from down there.'

Larry · Mail Carrier:Larry's prepared witticism about 'Shecooktus'

Larry · Jean:Larry's dating performance preparation: 'I gotta psych myself up for dates. It's a big performance. I gotta shower and shave and prepare witticisms'

Larry · Jean:Larry's prepared witticism example: 'that whole thing about the made-up Jewish holiday "Shecooktus," that was all... that was prepared beforehand, yeah.'

Larry · Jean:Reset button conversation: 'I'd love to hit the reset button' 'No.' 'Why not... wha... no?' 'Why?' 'Yeah, you reset. Let's hit the button.'

Larry · Jean:Jean's mysterious face reaction when Larry mentions the reset button

Sal · Larry:Sal's rabbit ears monologue: 'What ever happened to rabbit ears? I can't tell you how many times my cable has gone down right in the middle of one of my favorite shows.'

Larry · Sal:Larry's reset attempt with Sal: 'I'd like to hit the reset button on our relationship and... and go back to the way it was before I ever put the window down'

Larry · Chef Curtis:Chef Curtis's face demonstration: Larry asking him to recreate his reaction to the sole request

Larry · Chef Curtis:Larry's horse whinny description: 'You did a semi-horse whinny?' and the chef's confused agreement

Larry · Chef Curtis · Waiter:The competing face demonstrations: waiter vs chef showing different versions of the same reaction

Larry:Larry's summary: 'It's a clash of faces.'

Mr. Takahashi · Larry:Mr. Takahashi's formal accusation: 'It has been brought to my attention that you have disgraced Ken Carmen and his wife, Shelly.'

Mr. Takahashi · Larry:Soon argument: 'Expect a letter soon.' 'Soon? A day? Two days? Four days?' 'Everybody know what "soon" is.' 'Soon is not soon.'

Jeff · Larry:Jeff's Burger King analogy: 'Had the same situation with a girl at Burger King. Haven't had a Whopper in fucking three years.'

Jeff · Larry:Jeff's confused sexual questioning: 'You didn't tap that ass?' 'You didn't hit it?' 'And you going through the same shit if you had hit it?'

Larry · Sal:Sal's revenge reveal: Larry discovers he's 'at the very top of the do not admit list'

Larry · Sal:Larry's angry rant: 'I was the only one in this club who ever spoke to you... So unbelievably boring... about your fucking cat.'

Larry · Sal:Larry's rant about being the only one who talked to Sal

Larry · Sal:Larry's final insult: 'I was suffocating from the bullshit and drivel that was coming out of your mouth'

Larry · Other reenactors:Larry's premature Revolutionary War death: 'What are you... what are you doing? You got three hours to go, here. Are you crazy? Get up. This is nuts.'

Larry · Victor:Larry 'dying' immediately and refusing to get up for three hours

Larry · Victor · Others:Real cannon fire chaos: 'There's a crater in the ground.' 'This is real! This is real!' 'It's live rounds, Larry!'

Larry · Sal:Larry's desperate apology: 'Hello, Sal! I'm sorry!' 'Hello! How's your cat?'

Larry · Mr. Takahashi · Ken's wife:Mr. Takahashi affair discovery: Larry catching him with Ken's wife in the car

Larry:Larry's vindication: 'I knew that baby looked a little Asian.'

Victor · Larry · Valets:Victor's mistaken valet attack: 'Redcoats, man!' 'Don't tread on me, motherfuckers!' while attacking innocent golf course valets

Jean · Larry:Jean's final mail delivery: 'Welcome home, soldier. Thank you for your service.'