Seinfeld

George's ex-wife:I bumped into madoff on the street one day and he was wearing this quilted jacket with the collar up. And for some reason it just creeped me out. So the next day I pulled all my money out.

George · George's ex-wife:That's... That's my money! You have my money! Not according to the laws of the state of new york.

Multiple cast members:- I got it. - I got it. - I got it. - Would you let me get the check!?

George:Forgot to go to the cash machine.

Cheryl · Larry:He doesn't have groat's... Oh, that's great. That's good news.

Larry:What is he, george clooney? I mean, come on.

Cheryl · Larry:Boy, you know a lot about this guy. We spend a lot of time together just talking about nothing between takes.

Jason:I can't. Whenever I make a move you see it a mile away. It's like a poker tell.

Jerry:You realize all your dreams are coming true? Your whole plan is coming to fruition.

Larry:Raise your kids without raising them.

Larry · Jerry:Having said that, let me say this... So what is that? So you win either way. A comedian goes up on stage, 'you people are a bunch of morons. Having said that, i'm very happy to be here.'

Larry:I asked him to do me a favor. I didn't say I want to hire you. A favor implies no tip.

Larry:Having said that, I think this is a terrific title.

Julia:Has it ever occurred to you to use a coaster?

Larry:It makes me feel comfortable and secure and I don't have to shake hands.

Julia:Having said that, I don't really think I'm buying your line of bullshit.

Larry · Mocha Joe:You would do me a favor and we're even. What's the favor? Go into west hollywood to stern bros. Coffee and pick up my coffee order for tomorrow.

Mocha Joe:No going back in time. You said you would do me a favor. Now do me a favor.

Mocha Joe:No going back in time. You said you would do me a favor. Now do me a favor.

Larry:God damn it!

Cheryl · Larry:What are you doing? you're picking up beans? It's a long story. I'm gonna be like an hour late.

Larry:fucking mocha joe!

Jason:Cheryl calls me up, she says come on over. i go over, we worked for like two hours.

Julia:I have known you since 1983. I know when you are lying. And right now you're doing that thing with your mouth when it's like...

Julia:I will find out and I will drag that person by the hair and bring him into your dressing room soon.

Jason · Cheryl:Wait, is that in there? I know, but I don't say I made it. No, I say I made it. I know, it was so convincing. I'm playing george.

Larry · Jason:This is like the greatest relationship I've ever seen you have on the show. I know, george has never been this happy. I'm watching richard benjamin and paula prentiss here.

Mocha Joe · Larry:An attempt is not a favor. What? It is a favor. It is a favor. That's as good as a favor. The effort was there.

Larry:Whatever happened to e for effort, jerry? E for effort! You people think about that. F for favor! C for coffee.

Larry · Jerry:They could be eating burritos behind those tinted windows at lunch. That's your proof? They've got tinted windows?

Susie:I respect wood so much that if I had a piece of wood in my hand right now i'd beat the shit out of you with it, okay?

Cheryl · Larry:You said beans and clearly you were busy. You want to think I was busy with beans, go ahead and think that.

Larry:This is all your fault, mocha joe. Everything. You busied me with your beans.

Larry:Why? It's kind of quirky that he's saying this stuff from the bathroom. Who else would do that?

Jerry:Like twins in a womb, right? That's how we did this show.

Larry:Cheryl! aha! no! Mocha joe! mocha joe! Somebody help me! Oh shit! Oh no! ow! Oh no!

Jerry · Larry:They're going to destroy the dogs now because mocha joe was bitten. Really? Yes.

Jerry:Then you go to a showroom. Go to a car dealer and check it out. Talk to a salesman.

Mocha Joe:That's between the coffee and the wood.

Mocha Joe · Larry:This is a low-grade wood. Oh, so you discriminate amongst wood? I guess you could say that.

Mocha Joe:So you go to a funeral, you're more upset about the coffin than the deceased?

Mocha Joe:Oh, larry david, wood detective.

Mocha Joe:Those dogs are getting gassed. I'd do it myself if I could. And I'd have it televised.

Larry · Mocha Joe:Is there like another word for solid? Fav... I can't hear. What, larry? Favor.

Mocha Joe:Did you say favor, larry? Does this favor involve a tip?

Mocha Joe:That's for me bringing the jumper cables to your office. That's for not picking up my fucking coffee beans. One dog lives.

Larry:scampering and scurrying, I see you! What am I doing? What are you doing?

Larry:I'm george. You're not attracted to him, you're attracted to me. I wrote that stuff. I'm george.

Larry:It was so lame. Who's gonna buy that? They get together... We don't do endings like that. You know it's fantasy crap.

Jerry:Larry, we already screwed up one finale. We can't do another.

Jerry:How do you even have the show? What do you have? You have a three-legged goat here.

Jerry:There were two darrens on 'bewitched.' Nobody liked that second darren.

Michael Richards:There's no john, paul, george and larry.

Larry:George is getting upset.

Kramer:The itoilet. And I thought of it. That was one killer app.

Kramer:An iphone application that leads you via your g.p.s. To the nearest acceptable toilet wherever you are in the world. The itoilet.

Jerry:A few bad strangers that ruined it for the rest of us.

Larry:Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty good.

Amanda:Dating? Just sex.

Amanda · George · Jerry:Dating? Just sex. She is easy to talk to.

Cheryl · Larry:You called his book a pamphlet? It's so thin. It is, it's very thin. It's not a book. I know it's not a book.

George · Amanda:This could be the news that finally kills her. Because of the shock or because she doesn't like me? i'm fine either way.

George:Tell her that sometimes you have to be away from something to really appreciate it. That's how I feel about cuban food.

George:That's how I feel about cuban food. When I'm eating it I don't really like it. When I'm away for a little while I Miss it.

Kramer:Get out. That's recidivism. It's the same thing I saw last night on 'prison lockdown.'

George:See, that's another ponzi scheme.

Larry · Amanda:Do you respect wood? I... Guess so. You guess so? You don't know if you respect wood?

Larry · Amanda:Do you respect wood? I... Guess so. You guess so? You don't know if you respect wood?

Larry:Having said that, I would love for you to call julia and tell her that you left the ring stain.

Larry:Having said that, I would love for you to call julia and tell her that you left the ring stain.