Larry is miffed at both Marty Funkhouser's sudden presence on set during the Seinfeld reunion's table read and text messages from the nine-year-old daughter of a co-worker. Leon poses as a dead doctor to alleviate Michael Richards' concerns over his Groat's Disease diagnosis.
WAR
49.4
Wins Above Replacement
“The Table Read” ranks #86 of 120 Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 77.4 — Great. The episode packs 47 scored jokes at 1.1 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Larry: The only thing I can think of is I've been seeing this nine-year-old girl, and she kind of has a rash on her pussy.
Larry Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Mrs. Duberstein: My husband has been dead for two months. - What? - Groat's disease. Yeah, it was a long, painful death.
Larry: Is that where they can't take being a barber anymore... And they just down that blue liquid and that's it, they commit barbicide?
Larry Escalation Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Leon: He's going to give me $200,000 to invest for his ass. I Danny Dubersteined the fuck out that man in that room.
Leon Escalation Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Callback Jerry · Larry: Nobody can get in touch with him. He died like two months ago. Duberstein died? Mm-hmm, of groat's disease.
Jerry Larry Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 47 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry: No... no, it's strictly professional.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Larry: What has she done? You know... I don't know, she's done some stuff, I'm not sure. I don't know exactly.
Larry Awkward Silence Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry · Stacy: Is she okay? - She just has a rash on her pussy.
Larry: Larry's immediate exit after hearing about the pussy rash
Larry Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: Well, it says Jason Alexander doesn't say George Costanza.
Larry Meta/Self-Referential Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Larry · Jerry: The minion would call the executive producer. - I made a mistake. - You reversed it.
Michael: I just got a call from my doctor, and he thinks that I might have... Groat's disease.
Michael Absurdist Setup/Punchline Callback Jerry · Larry: Policy? What kind of policy? - We have a policy. - I never saw a policy. - It's an unwritten policy...
Marty · Larry: Wanna hear a joke? He doesn't want to hear a joke, we got a read through. Let me just get right through it.
Larry: Will you finish the fucking joke already?
Larry Escalation Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Marty: PS: Your cunt is in the sink.
Marty Misdirection Dark/Subversive Larry: I had no idea it would be that revolting.
Larry Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jason as George: The itoilet. And I thought of it. Why'd you have to give that crook Madoff all of it?
Michael as Kramer · Julia as Elaine: The judy doll? - Yes, judy. - A little trim. - Well, now you got to find a new judy.
Jerry as Jerry: Well, because I donated the sperm. I offered. I would have bought you a new house.
Jason/George: Collar up? Creeped you out? That's my money! You have my money!
Cheryl as Amanda: I bumped into Madoff on the street one day and he was wearing this quilted jacket with the collar up, and for some reason it creeped me out.
Jason as George: Collar up? Creeped you out? That's my money! You have my money!
Jason as George · Cast: George takes out a napkin and brings it to his nose. - Cast: no! - As they reach for George, the shot freezes and we fade out.
Larry · Jason: The pen was in your mouth, the pen was in your ear... In my ear? What are you talking about? It was in every orifice of your body.
Larry · Jason: I had the pen up my ass while doing the read-through? - Except for the ass.
Larry · Jerry: Best waiter? A table right away? What the hell's going on? I greased him. How much did you give him? 20 bucks.
Emma (via text): got your info from my mom. Nice meeting you. Did you have fun at the table read?
Jerry · Larry: Nobody can get in touch with him. He died like two months ago. Duberstein died? Mm-hmm, of groat's disease.
Jerry Larry Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Jerry: You know, I like to keep my pens in a barbicide. - That blue liquid that the barbers have? - In the barber shop. I haven't really figured out what barbicide was.
Larry: Is that where they can't take being a barber anymore... And they just down that blue liquid and that's it, they commit barbicide?
Larry Escalation Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Jerry: Once you have it, the door's open. Somebody knocks on your door, you have to answer it.
Jerry Observational ★ Rewatch Larry · Stacy: How's her pussy, by the way? - Stacy: it's good, actually. It's not as itchy.
Jerry as Jerry: Well, I'm afraid in that particular scenario, my sympathies lie only with the toilet.
Larry: It's not an eye for a lesser eye, okay? It's an eye for an eye, not an eye that doesn't see very well.
Larry Wordplay/Pun Escalation ★ Rewatch Leon: What, you think I can't do this shit, huh? I'll white that shit up. I'll white that whole shit up.
Leon Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Leon: how are you doing today? I'm Danny Duberstein. I heard you have groat's disease.
Leon Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Leon · Larry: Bar mitzfit. - It's not bar mitzfit. - Bar mitzfit. - vahed! Bar mitzvahed. - Bar mitzfit.
Larry (via text): no, I don't watch 'wizards of waverly place.'
Larry: That money that you took out of my hands is the money that I would have put into your hands right now if not for the fact that you took it, so let's consider us even.
Larry Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Larry: She's got a rash on her pussy. She needs to get out of here.
Larry Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Leon as Duberstein: It's once every 13 years, you know. You got to recharge the mitzvah, so you always keep your mitzvah kind of full, at capacity.
Leon as Duberstein: If I'm fucking six women three times a day, seven days a week, how many times per week am I fucking? Was it 10? Was it 130? Was it 16?
Leon as Duberstein: Danny Duberstein's good at two things: that's math and fucking.
Leon: He's going to give me $200,000 to invest for his ass. I Danny Dubersteined the fuck out that man in that room.
Leon Escalation Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Callback Leon: Who is this little fat bastard? Now that little motherfucker look funny.
Leon Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jerry: Nobody remembers a guy with a dinner roll on his head. They remember Kramer with the hair that goes up.
Jerry Observational Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Mrs. Duberstein: My husband has been dead for two months. - What? - Groat's disease. Yeah, it was a long, painful death.
Michael: If only there were a... A horrible name that I could call you that would make you as angry as I am!
Michael Meta/Self-Referential Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: The only thing I can think of is I've been seeing this nine-year-old girl, and she kind of has a rash on her pussy.
Larry Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Don't tell your mother, but I bought you another pen.
Larry Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Doctor Reaction Beat Escalation ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — Curb Your Enthusiasm