The Table Read

Larry:No... no, it's strictly professional.

Larry:What has she done? You know... I don't know, she's done some stuff, I'm not sure. I don't know exactly.

Larry · Stacy:Is she okay? - She just has a rash on her pussy.

Larry:Larry's immediate exit after hearing about the pussy rash

Larry:Well, it says Jason Alexander doesn't say George Costanza.

Larry · Jerry:The minion would call the executive producer. - I made a mistake. - You reversed it.

Michael:I just got a call from my doctor, and he thinks that I might have... Groat's disease.

Jerry · Larry:Policy? What kind of policy? - We have a policy. - I never saw a policy. - It's an unwritten policy...

Marty · Larry:Wanna hear a joke? He doesn't want to hear a joke, we got a read through. Let me just get right through it.

Larry:Will you finish the fucking joke already?

Marty:PS: Your cunt is in the sink.

Larry:I had no idea it would be that revolting.

Jason as George:The itoilet. And I thought of it. Why'd you have to give that crook Madoff all of it?

Michael as Kramer · Julia as Elaine:The judy doll? - Yes, judy. - A little trim. - Well, now you got to find a new judy.

Jerry as Jerry:Well, because I donated the sperm. I offered. I would have bought you a new house.

Jason/George:Collar up? Creeped you out? That's my money! You have my money!

Cheryl as Amanda:I bumped into Madoff on the street one day and he was wearing this quilted jacket with the collar up, and for some reason it creeped me out.

Jason as George:Collar up? Creeped you out? That's my money! You have my money!

Jason as George · Cast:George takes out a napkin and brings it to his nose. - Cast: no! - As they reach for George, the shot freezes and we fade out.

Larry · Jason:The pen was in your mouth, the pen was in your ear... In my ear? What are you talking about? It was in every orifice of your body.

Larry · Jason:I had the pen up my ass while doing the read-through? - Except for the ass.

Larry · Jerry:Best waiter? A table right away? What the hell's going on? I greased him. How much did you give him? 20 bucks.

Emma (via text):got your info from my mom. Nice meeting you. Did you have fun at the table read?

Jerry · Larry:Nobody can get in touch with him. He died like two months ago. Duberstein died? Mm-hmm, of groat's disease.

Larry · Jerry:You know, I like to keep my pens in a barbicide. - That blue liquid that the barbers have? - In the barber shop. I haven't really figured out what barbicide was.

Larry:Is that where they can't take being a barber anymore... And they just down that blue liquid and that's it, they commit barbicide?

Jerry:Once you have it, the door's open. Somebody knocks on your door, you have to answer it.

Larry · Stacy:How's her pussy, by the way? - Stacy: it's good, actually. It's not as itchy.

Jerry as Jerry:Well, I'm afraid in that particular scenario, my sympathies lie only with the toilet.

Larry:It's not an eye for a lesser eye, okay? It's an eye for an eye, not an eye that doesn't see very well.

Leon:What, you think I can't do this shit, huh? I'll white that shit up. I'll white that whole shit up.

Leon:how are you doing today? I'm Danny Duberstein. I heard you have groat's disease.

Leon · Larry:Bar mitzfit. - It's not bar mitzfit. - Bar mitzfit. - vahed! Bar mitzvahed. - Bar mitzfit.

Larry (via text):no, I don't watch 'wizards of waverly place.'

Larry:That money that you took out of my hands is the money that I would have put into your hands right now if not for the fact that you took it, so let's consider us even.

Larry:She's got a rash on her pussy. She needs to get out of here.

Leon as Duberstein:It's once every 13 years, you know. You got to recharge the mitzvah, so you always keep your mitzvah kind of full, at capacity.

Leon as Duberstein:If I'm fucking six women three times a day, seven days a week, how many times per week am I fucking? Was it 10? Was it 130? Was it 16?

Leon as Duberstein:Danny Duberstein's good at two things: that's math and fucking.

Leon:He's going to give me $200,000 to invest for his ass. I Danny Dubersteined the fuck out that man in that room.

Leon:Who is this little fat bastard? Now that little motherfucker look funny.

Jerry:Nobody remembers a guy with a dinner roll on his head. They remember Kramer with the hair that goes up.

Mrs. Duberstein:My husband has been dead for two months. - What? - Groat's disease. Yeah, it was a long, painful death.

Michael:If only there were a... A horrible name that I could call you that would make you as angry as I am!

Larry:The only thing I can think of is I've been seeing this nine-year-old girl, and she kind of has a rash on her pussy.

Larry:Don't tell your mother, but I bought you another pen.

Doctor:Call the police.