The One with the Halloween Party

I can't make it.

Tell me you're not gonna dress like a dinosaur. Not two years in a row.

Halloween is stupid. Dressing up, pretending to be someone you're not. / You're an actor.

Or Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No! Slutty Leatherface.

Please don't take her from me.

I thought there was a mirror there.

His.

No. But thanks.

I am a woman who spent money on a dress she wants to wear because soon she won't fit into it.

I'm Catwoman, who wants the dress when you're too big for it.

Did you see the cover of Vogue..? / Could I just have the candy?

No bunny at all. Always no bunny at all!

Yes, I did. I'm Chandler.

When have I ever done that? / When have I ever done that?

I have to say, that earns 'two-two' pieces of candy.

No wonder you're pregnant.

Spud-nik!

All right! Ross came as doodie.

You're the sister. I just slapped my future sister-in-law's ass.

Is your mother here? I could slap her on the butt.

My mother killed herself. / See, and I knew that.

It's much better than first grade, and definitely better than third. With all the politics and the mind games.

Between you and Phoebe? I'd give Phoebe the edge.

Phoebe lived on the street, okay? Plus, she's got a crazy temper.

I would say, 'Woman, please.'

Normally, I don't like sweaty guys. But I could just mop him up.

No, I'm not, you are!

Okay, I'm just gonna write this out to 'cash.'

Joey's gonna be thrilled. He was hoping you'd be a slutty nurse.

You'd think that would embarrass me, but I'm maxed out.

Marry her.

Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left.

You're the funniest man here in a bunny costume his wife made him wear.

She's right. I am stronger. / Really? You think you're stronger? Why don't you prove it?

You're going downtown!

Seriously, guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.

You are gonna make some man the luckiest guy in the world.

And here it comes again. Shut up!

Besides, if I cheat on him, I can call it an affair.

Oh, God. Chandler's making his sex face.

At least you have a wife. I get divorces and knock people up.

Come on, who we kidding? I'm doodie.

There's no such thing as a 'Top Secret School for the Children of Spies.'

Hurry up! I gotta pray!

I also had to go to a few houses as his girlfriend.

Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas. And their birthdays. They get crazy during the summer too. And any time they're hungry or sleepy.

Kids are tough. Good luck with that.

I'm gonna kill myself!