In the past, an innocent Dennis learns the horrifying details of Frank's business, a truly sweet Dee is excited to head off for Hollywood, while Charlie and Mac's jobs at the roller rink are in jeopardy.
WAR
43.7
Wins Above Replacement
“The Gang Buys a Roller Rink” ranks #86 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.2 — Elite. The episode packs 46 scored jokes at 1.6 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Mac landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Charlie: From the machines and my paycheck and just, like, saving the quarters and shit, I've saved up, like, $57,000.
Charlie: II-When she asked me to tighten her skates, I secretly loosened them, you know, 'cause real friends don't slow each other down, right? They help them soar.
Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dee: Yeah, I'm fine, you small-haired cunt.
Dee Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dennis: I feel like I just watched you have sex with a prostitute.
Frank: Yeah. Why?
Dennis: What do you mean why?
Charlie: What if we went into business, like, for ourselves?
Mac: Like we do what Dennis's dad does at work, right, but we do it with each other.
All Jokes — 46 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Dennis: Why would you deliver such sad news in such an upbeat fashion?
Mac: Uh, yeah, you know what? It felt wrong as I was doing it. Wasn't sure how to stop.
Dennis Mac Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: Everybody wants to pave paradise and put up a parking lot.
Mac: Nice! Nice. Uh, Joni Mitchell, yeah. I found a way to weave it in. I heard you do that.
Charlie Mac Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Hotdogging happens at the concession stand.
Smokey Wordplay/Pun Deadpan/Understatement Charlie: This jacket's phat as hell.
Mac: It may be phat, but you're not supposed to wear it, all right?
Charlie: I got to look phat 'cause I'm out there selling weed, and you got to look phat if you're selling weed.
Charlie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: And also, dude, I'm gonna say this as your friend and not just your boss... stop dealing drugs at work, okay?
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Mac: You know, Dennis looks like Jerry Seinfeld.
Dennis: Thanks, man. Yeah, that's kind of what I was going for.
Mac Dennis Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Dee: I don't like how mean they are to each other on that show.
Dennis: Aw, Sweet Dee. So pure of heart. You know?
Dee Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dee: Oh, no, Charlie, uh, size 11 in men's.
Charlie: That's okay. Oh, right. You wear men's. Yeah. I totally forgot.
Dennis: Guys, thank you so much for not making fun of the size of her feet. They're—they're very big.
Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Callback Mac: Mark my words, nobody will ever use email. The Internet is a fad for nerds.
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Mac: Like, what kind of business is he in?
Dennis: It's complicated, you know? There's—there's numbers and money, you know?
Mac: I definitely see myself running this place one day.
Dennis: I'll be running a multi-million-dollar business, and you'll be working at a roller rink.
Mac Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: Mobile phones. Fads for yuppies. Mark my words, Charlie, those things will never catch on.
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: Also, you keep saying that, and I don't know if you're, like, fully expecting me to, like, mark these words down 'cause I don't have, like, a pen on me.
Charlie Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Dennis: How am I supposed to learn if you don't show me how to do it?
Frank: You don't know how?
Dennis: No. I don't know anything.
Frank: I thought this was something you'd learn in school.
Frank Absurdist Character Comedy Dennis: I feel like I just watched you have sex with a prostitute.
Frank: Yeah. Why?
Dennis: What do you mean why?
Frank: It was your idea.
Dennis: I didn't want to watch you have sex.
Frank: I didn't want you to watch me have sex, either.
Dennis: I don't even know what it is I'm being fired from.
Dennis Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Mac: I just sold two ounces of Compton Endo.
Charlie: Holy shit. Whoa, dude, there's got to be, like, $80 in there.
Mac: It's $4,000, Charlie.
Charlie: Oh, got to tighten them Dee's nuts. / Dee's nuts.
Dee: I'm sorry. I just don't find crass humor that funny.
Mac: Cool? Charlie, in 20 years, everybody's gonna have a beeper. Mark my words.
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: Maybe I'll introduce myself, too? Put a name to the face 'cause customer service is important.
Charlie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: They will return, no matter what, because they're addicted to the drugs.
Charlie: Oh. That's how it works. / Oh. Okay, cool.
Charlie: Hi. I'm Charlie. I'll be taking care of you guys this evening.
Charlie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: I'm a little thrown off. I was expecting you guys to be so much older than me.
Charlie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Callback Charlie: Sorry. It's my first night. I'm in training, so... thank you for your patience.
Charlie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Callback Mac: That's a gat. I got a gat.
Charlie: You're carrying around a gun handle?
Mac Charlie Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: It's still cool, though.
Mac Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Charlie: All right, well, look on the bright side, Mac. We just made a quick 25 cents.
Charlie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Dennis: And I'm starting to think that my dad's a bad man.
Dennis Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Mac: Mark my words, you're probably never gonna see that guy again for the rest of your life.
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: What if we went into business, like, for ourselves?
Mac: Like we do what Dennis's dad does at work, right, but we do it with each other.
Charlie: From the machines and my paycheck and just, like, saving the quarters and shit, I've saved up, like, $57,000.
Charlie: II-When she asked me to tighten her skates, I secretly loosened them, you know, 'cause real friends don't slow each other down, right? They help them soar.
Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dee: Yeah, I'm fine, you small-haired cunt.
Dee Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dee: A breath mint 'cause your mouth smells like you just ate a giant slice of shit pizza.
Dee Character Comedy Escalation Dee: I'm gonna get rich, I'm gonna get famous, and I'm probably gonna marry Scott Wolf.
Dee Character Comedy Observational Dennis: Sweet Dee is not being very sweet.
Dennis Deadpan/Understatement Wordplay/Pun Smokey: I don't own this place. I just work here for the free parking.
Smokey Misdirection Character Comedy Smokey: I own the bar around the corner.
Dennis: There's a bar around the corner?
Smokey: Yeah. That place is a real dump.
Dennis: We'll take it. Any price.
Mac: Well, well, hang on a second. We don't know if we'll take it. We haven't even seen it yet.
Dennis: Stop saying that. You are a terrible negotiator.
Dennis: Well, there's a palpable sadness in here.
Dennis Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Mac: Guys, mark my words, when we're finished with this place, you're not even gonna recognize it.
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Mac: I got a lot of things wrong.
Dennis: Yeah. We really didn't change that much.
Mac: No.
Charlie: You haven't even changed clothes, for instance. You're still wearing the same sweatshirt.
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