After quitting their job due to Frank's continuing interference, Dennis and Dee decide to seek alternative income by going on welfare. Meanwhile, Mac and Charlie must now bear the consequences of their friends’ departures from the business.
WAR
45.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare” ranks #129 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 75.1 — Great. The episode packs 55 scored jokes at 1.9 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Dennis landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dee: Oh, they want to play rough? We can play rough. Let's go buy some crack.
Dee Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Frank: I'm good. Go get us some slaves.
Frank Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Frank · Charlie: This shows leadership. I am promoting you to management. That's why I did it.
Dennis: Uh, one rock of crack. One crack... A crack rock. Is that enough? Is one crack rock enough? How much would you recommend for a first-time user?
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac · Dennis: Drug addicts, mentally disabled, people with dependents... that sort of thing / Mac, we've got it covered, okay? Dee, your bicycle helmet
All Jokes — 55 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Mac · Dennis · Dee: My dad's a meth dealer. - Oh, oh, no! - My daddy's in prison! - My daddy used to give hot shots to prostitutes.
Charlie: Feel sorry for me! I got the grout.
Charlie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Frank Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Dennis: Signing us up for unemployment benefits
Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Dee: Well, I guess I could use this time to get my acting career off the ground.
Dee Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Dennis: The old Dennis would have said, 'Dee, your sad little acting ship sailed a decade ago. It's pathetic.' But the new Dennis says that it's not my place to kill your pipe dreams.
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dee · Dennis: 400 a week. That's more than we made at the bar.
Mac · Charlie: Goddamn it! Why can you not lift your end? I don't know, dude. Let me figure out what is happening.
Charlie · Mac: Of course I'm lifting with my back. I think your end is lighter. The balls have rolled down to this end.
Charlie: Look at me. I'm broken, dude. Look, I'm...
Charlie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dennis: Oh, living the dream, bro. Living the dream
Dennis · Dee: I'm gonna be a veterinarian. And I am gonna move to New York, and I'm gonna be on Broadway.
Mac: What? It's 1:00 in the afternoon, and you're piss-ass drunk.
Mac Observational Character Comedy Dennis: Well, it's a slow process, man. It takes a little time. But we trust the system
Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Mac · Dennis: Is that a new watch, dude? It is. It's awesome. And I got a Jesus chain.
Dennis: Once it runs out, we're gonna go on welfare, dude.
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation Dennis: Once it runs out, we're gonna go on welfare, dude
Dennis Escalation Character Comedy Dennis: You want to play this game? We gonna play this game now?
Dennis Escalation Character Comedy Charlie · Frank: Right, right. So what's the vig? The vig? Yeah, man. You know, what's... what's the vig on this action here? Do you even know what 'vig' means?
Mac · Charlie: We hire a couple people, pay them nothing, and get them to do all of our work for us! We pay them nothing! That's incredible!
Mac Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie · Mac: Respect is the name of the game. Respect is number one! / It's the name of almost every game / Because we understand the plight of the worker
Frank: I'm good. Go get us some slaves.
Frank Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Charlie: There have been slaves of many different races. There's been Jewish slaves. I mean, uh, Italian, uh...
Charlie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Charlie: I'm not saying that because he's black. He's asleep in his chair.
Charlie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Charlie: That's like reverse affirmative action, dude. You could cheat yourself out of a good slave here.
Charlie Cringe/Discomfort Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mac: Like weight, power... Something to just 'expediate' the whole process.
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mac · Dennis: Drug addicts, mentally disabled, people with dependents... that sort of thing / Mac, we've got it covered, okay? Dee, your bicycle helmet
Mac: That is an awesome helmet.
Mac Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Dennis: Hi. Um, I'm a recovering crackhead. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare, please.
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: Well, can't you see how retarded she is?
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Dee: Oh, they want to play rough? We can play rough. Let's go buy some crack.
Dee Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Dennis: Uh, one rock of crack. One crack... A crack rock. Is that enough? Is one crack rock enough? How much would you recommend for a first-time user?
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dee · Dennis: One crack rock. Is that enough? Is one crack rock enough? / How much would you recommend for a first-time user?
Dennis: That should be about 200. Thanks for being so kind. And patient.
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac · Charlie: This one. It's got to be that guy. Don't say 'this one.'
Charlie · Frank: I'm gonna get nice and drunk, play some video games until my eyes bleed / Me too. I want to play Charlie
Frank · Charlie: The three of us go outside, throw the pigskin around, play some two-hand touch. I'll teach you how to play. I already know how to play. Not properly though.
Charlie · Mac: Frank's been hiding all of his money in my account. Uh, it's got something to do with the vig. What's a vig?
Charlie Mac Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: Here's some for you! Here's some for you! And here's some for you!
Dee: It's 4:00. I'm freezing and I'm sweating all at once. I think I may have peed in my pants.
Dee Cringe/Discomfort Physical/Slapstick Dennis: We missed our appointment by an hour and a day
Dennis Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Dee: It was yesterday. We missed our appointment by an hour and a day.
Dee Escalation Character Comedy Dee · Dennis: Dennis, when you become a veterinarian, will you buy me some new head shots? Hey! Hey, get out of here, you piece of shit! Yeah, I'll buy you stuff.
Dennis: I'm definitely gonna buy a bunch of crack.
Dennis Dark/Subversive Escalation Dennis: Holding... Do you have any money? Please? I just need a little bit of money.
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Frank: You work hard, you don't drink... How'd you end up on welfare?
Frank Observational Irony/Sarcasm Maria: Well, it's a vicious cycle, Mr. Frank. One cannot support a family on a minimum-wage position.
Maria Irony/Sarcasm Observational Mac · Charlie: We got a big problem here, buddy / The services have already been rendered. We gotta pay these girls / I'm calling Hector / Don't call Hector or Wallace or any other large pimp
Mac · Dennis: Did somebody get addicted to crack? I sweat uncontrollably! I can't get somebody to have sex with me unless I pay for it!
Dennis · Mac: I sweat uncontrollably! / I can't get somebody to have sex with me unless I pay for it!
Frank: Slaves are gone. They were bringing me down. Plus, you know they don't drink?
Frank Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Frank · Charlie: This shows leadership. I am promoting you to management. That's why I did it.
Frank · Mac: You get dick, because you are a follower and a thief. But how come Charlie? Not fair.
Dennis · Frank: Why would you do this to us, Dad? / Because you are crackheads, children
Frank · Dennis · Dee: Because you are crackheads, children. Yeah. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack.
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