The gang describes the trials and tribulations they went through, during game five of the World Series, in hopes the judge will clear them of all the citations they received.
WAR
57.5
Wins Above Replacement
“The World Series Defense” ranks #48 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.6 — Elite. The episode packs 54 scored jokes at 1.9 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Charlie landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Mac: Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Dennis: The Philadelphia Phillies winning the World Series, your honor.
Dennis Absurdist Misdirection ★ Rewatch Dennis: Yeah, but you only work out your glamour muscles, and you know it.
Dennis Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: Well, no, I've done too many, man. I mean, the next one could be my last, bro.
Charlie Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mac: I love your hair, you run fast.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 54 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Dennis: Yes, lady madam of the court, I do believe that this court will realize that we were all victims of a terrible ordeal that caused each and every one of us great physical and emotional trauma.
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dennis: The Philadelphia Phillies winning the World Series, your honor.
Dennis Absurdist Misdirection ★ Rewatch And let the record show... that we are waiving our right to... an attorney.
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Charlie: Boom! I haven't forgot a thang!
Charlie Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Charlie: I'm gonna be wasted on grain alcohol. Grain alcohol, baby. Whenever there's a potential riot, I'm getting blasted on grain alcohol.
Charlie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Frank: Put some of that on my bug bites.
Frank Absurdist Character Comedy Mac: Some guy brought 'em from Haiti.
Mac Absurdist Dark/Subversive Dee: World Series, bitches! What is up?! Whoomp, there it is!
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mac: when the Phillies are up by, like, 50 or 60 runs
Mac Absurdist Character Comedy Charlie: And I'm gonna toss out Green man and run around the field and go crazy as Green man...
Charlie Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: He's got a stranglehold on the Phillie mascot scene, it's not fair.
Charlie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mac: Nah, I feel like there's only room for one green idiot running around making an asshole of himself.
Mac Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Frank: Oh! Oh! Balls! Oh, no, they're fumigating the building for bedbugs!
Frank Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Frank: I can't read every flyer that gets slipped under the door!
Frank Character Comedy Absurdist Mac: I'll have to scale the building, cut a hole in the tent, smash through the window. That'll cut down on occupancy time.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation Dee: You are not capable of doing that.
Dee Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Charlie: One, we can take the secret tunnel that goes from the Holiday Inn into the stadium...
Charlie: We're passionate fans; we gotta hammer someone.
Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Charlie: You're gonna do this, okay? One, you jump in front of a car coming to the stadium. Two, you say, 'I'm gonna sue you if you don't give me tickets.'
Charlie Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Charlie: Well, no, I've done too many, man. I mean, the next one could be my last, bro.
Charlie Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mac: Your honor, so my friend here pushed me in front of a moving car. No big deal.
Mac Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen of the court, these were dire times and dire actions were needed to get those tickets.
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation Dennis: Your honor, let the record show that the three of us do not condone the actions of the two of them.
Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Dennis: Are you sure? 'Cause she's not typing very quickly.
Dennis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dennis: I don't appreciate being paraphrased. I choose my words very deliberately.
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Charlie: I found this garden hose, right? I'm gonna use it to pump fresh air into the building. And breathe into it like a scuba diver.
Charlie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: If it's me I'd go Chase Utley, 100% of the time. He's a power hitting second baseman, Dee. Do you know how rare that is in the National League?
Mac: I have a plan, all right? And it involves you getting this letter to him. When you get out to kiss him.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dee: Dear Chase... Oh shit, there are stickers!
Dee Visual Gag Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Mac: Dear Chase, I feel like I can call you Chase because you and me are so much alike.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: I love your hair, you run fast.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Mac: I am sure our relationship will be a real Home Run.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Wordplay/Pun The guy is like five years younger than you, you know that, right?
Dee Character Comedy Reaction Beat Frank: Leave me here to die!
Frank Escalation Character Comedy Frank: The bastards took them.
Frank Absurdist Character Comedy Mac: Screw your goddamn soft pretzel, you son of a bitch! I might be bleeding internally.
Mac Escalation Dark/Subversive Charlie: I'm trying to have a conversation. You're belly bumping me, all right?
Charlie Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort Charlie: Look, I'm trying to have a conversation with the man behind the mask, I feel like you're big-leaguing me, dude.
Charlie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dennis: Yeah, but you only work out your glamour muscles, and you know it.
Dennis Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: You're totally arm-heavy. You're all bis and tris and everything else is just fat and... and ribs.
Dennis Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: And let the record show that that is because he only works out his glamour muscles.
Dennis Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Judge: Stop handing me papers.
Judge Reaction Beat Escalation Charlie: Yeah, they want you to think it's a linen closet, Frank.
Charlie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Charlie: Cause in Scooby Doo, secret tunnels are always behind shelves.
Charlie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Frank: Could we not base our decisions on what does and doesn't happen in episodes of Scooby Doo?
Frank Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Dennis: I just added that last part to the end there to spice the story up 'cause, for being honest, it can't seem like you were losing it for a bit.
Dennis Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: But the point is, we did get stuck in that linen closet for six days.
Charlie: Yeah, how does a hotel not run out of towels for six days?
Charlie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: Let the record show that we question that hotel's sanitation procedures.
Dennis Escalation Character Comedy Charlie: I'm calling kangaroo court on this court. A kangaroo court. It's a kangaroo court.
Charlie: Charlie Kelly versus the Major League Baseball and the Phillie Frenetic.
Charlie: His name's the Phanatic, but, you know, I'm gonna get sued by Major League Baseball if I call him the Phanatic.
Charlie Meta/Self-Referential Absurdist ★ Rewatch Charlie: Can we talk about steroids?! Can we talk about steroid abuse?! It's bullshit! It's ruining the game! It's ruining it!
Top Episodes — It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia