Perd Hapley

Perd:Leslie Norp

Perd:bent an elbow at this local watering hole

Perd:And the story of this next dance is that it's called The Worm.

Perd · Leslie:Leslie, for our viewers at home who might not know, are centaurs real? - No. - You absolutely sure?

Perd · Brandi:When'd you get in the business? - Last year. - Fantastic.

Leslie · Perd:Well, frankly, Perd, it's not that big a deal, if you know what I mean. I don't know what you mean, but it had the cadence of a joke.

Perd:There you have it, where 'it' is the thing Leslie Knope just said about this situation.

Perd:I don't know where she went the first time.

Jennifer · Perd:And that woman that he is with is an antiland-mine advocate. I didn't realize that you were proland-mine.

Perd:I am not here to declare a winner, but Jennifer is the winner.

Ann · Perd:I want to have a baby. Will you be the sperm donor? The story of this situation is it's extremely personal.

Perd · Ann:There is such a thing as journalistic integrity, and it is something that I have as a journalist with integrity. It's really important, Perd. Please? Come on. For old time's sake. Well, the story of that appeal is it was heartfelt. And in response to that appeal, I respond: Okay.

Perd:And a slogan is a series of words that have a meaning.

Perd:Well, the story of my interest level is: It's medium.

Perd:Perd's slam poetry: "I am speaking the slam poem to you right now with my mouth"

Perd:"My Second Slam Poem by Perd Hapley, by Perd Hapley"

Perd:Tonight, on The Perdples Court, we will have the guests that have been booked for tonight's show-- the plaintiff, Leslie Knope, who has some big allegations against Gryzzl.

Leslie · Perd:Well, Perd-- / It's 'Judge Perd.'

Perd:To be honest, Judge Perd is stumped by this case. I've also misplaced my judge hammer.

Perd:Therefore, I must declare a mistrial, which is a term I've heard people use in the movies. Tap, tap, tap. Case ended.