Donna

You like that commercial? I like that commercial. You like that commercial?

They're not talking about pants. They're talking about nothing. That's the point.

I'm lactose intolerant. Really? I have no patience for lactose and I won't stand for it.

You're the one that likes that commercial! He told you that?

Boy, I bet you got a regular Algonquin Round Table there.

You're Donna Chang? Did you think I was Chinese? No. What, you mean because of the 'Chang'?

Actually, the family name wasn't originally Chang. I didn't think so. Used to be 'Changstein.'

Well, she told me she and your father are getting divorced.

They're not getting divorced. Why, what happened? She was trying to call George last night, she got me, we spoke for an hour, and she changed her mind.

What did you tell Mrs. Costanza that changed her mind? Mentioned a few bits of wisdom from Confucius. Confucius, huh? You know, you're not Chinese.

I thought I was getting advice from a Chinese woman. I'm sorry. Well, then... that changes everything. What? She's not Chinese. I was duped!

It really accentuates my bust line.