Doorman

Doorman:"Here for a quickie?"

Doorman:Oh, I get it. Why waste time making small talk with the doorman? I should just shut up and do my job opening the door for you.

Doorman:Oh, I see, on the sports page. Why do you think I wasn't reading the Wall Street page? Oh, I know. Because I'm the uneducated doorman.

Doorman · Jerry:Oh, sure. Poor doorman has to work two jobs to put food on the table for mother and baby. / No, I live here.

Jerry · Doorman:So you work all day as a doorman at one building and then you stand outside your building? / Yeah. You got a problem with that?

Doorman:You really think you're better than me, don't you?

Doorman:My fellow doormen and I watch out for each other. We don't stab each other in the back like people in your world.

Doorman · Jerry:Then watch the door for a minute. / What? / I just want to get a beer. Be back in a minute. / Wait a second. What do I do? / It's not brain surgery. Open the door for people. If they don't live here, don't let them in.

Accomplice · Doorman:So you didn't even want the couch? / No, I was just messing with his head. / And they think they're better than us.

Doorman · Kramer:What is that? / It's the first upper-body support undergarment specifically designed for men. / How does it connect in the back? With a hook? / Oh, no, no, no. Here. Velcro.

Doorman:Well, I suppose it will have to do.

Jerry · George · Doorman:Jerry spots the Sandos brother wearing the jacket at the Friars Club — tries to chase him — is stopped by the doorman: 'Are you members? Until then, that's the way out.'

Jerry · George · Doorman:Jerry and George are thrown out of the Friars Club for not being members while trying to recover Jerry's jacket from a man wearing it inside