Character Analysis
Mike Moffitt
Played by Lee Arenberg
14 jokes across 3 episodes of Seinfeld
3.8
14
6.9
7.0
Escalation
Mike delivers 14 scored jokes across 3 episodes of Seinfeld, averaging 6.9 on craft and 7.0 on impact for a career WAR of 3.8. Their comedy leans toward escalation. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Mike Lines
Mike:Stupid thumbs.
Mike · Kramer · Mike:Why did you tell him?! / He begged me! / He begged you?!
George · Mike:You're gonna have to go to the bathroom! / You'll have to go to work! / I don't have a job! / Neither do I!
George · Mike:No, that's the right position. / No, no. I was further in. / No, you weren't. Stop there.
Kramer · Mike:You're looking tremendous. What, are you on some regimen? / Yeah, 25-percent bran flakes. The 40 percent was too much, so I found a store to make it special. They take it down another 15 percent.
All Jokes — 21 total
George · Mike:Mike pulls headfirst into the space George is backing into — the parking dispute begins.
George · Mike:I'm not sneaking! / I didn't even know you were parking. You were just sitting there. / If you didn't think I was parking, why did you put it in headfirst?
Mike:I was in the middle of a conversation.
George · Mike · Jerry:Is that Jerry? / Jerry! / Hey, Mike. / What, you know Jerry? / Yeah, I know Jerry. / How do you know him? / What's the difference? / Because I know him too, and probably a lot better than you. / Well, bully for you.
Jerry · Mike · Kramer:Indiana. / Hey, Krame.
Kramer · Mike:You're looking tremendous. What, are you on some regimen? / Yeah, 25-percent bran flakes. The 40 percent was too much, so I found a store to make it special. They take it down another 15 percent.
Mike:That's killer! Killer! / I love that. / You've got to use that. That's a definite.
Mike · George:Going in front-first isn't sneaking! / You went in front-first because you saw me backing up! / I went front-first because I can make it front-first. Pull out! I'll show you! / You got a prayer. / I go in front-first all the time. / Front-first. That's how you park when you're pulling a bank job.
George · Mike:No, that's the right position. / No, no. I was further in. / No, you weren't. Stop there.
George · Mike:What if you got 10 car lengths? Should you pull all the way to the front car? / When do you ever have 10 car lengths? / What about Sundays and holidays? / Please.
Kramer · Elaine · Mike · Jerry · George:That's it. The fight's already started. I'm going upstairs. Who's coming? Elaine? / Depends on who's going. You going? / I'm not going if he's going! / Me either! / Well, I'm going. / If he's going, I'm not going! / It's your house! / I don't have to go.
Mike · Kramer · Mike:Why did you tell him?! / He begged me! / He begged you?!
Mike · Jerry:Jerry. I think you completely misunderstood what I said. I meant it in a complimentary way. You know, when people say 'He's bad,' it really means 'He's good.' That sort of thing? / Use it in a sentence. / Man, that Michael Jordan is so phoney.
George · Mike:You're gonna have to go to the bathroom! / You'll have to go to work! / I don't have a job! / Neither do I!
Mike · Jerry:Guess what. I just started my own business. I'm a bookie. / No openings in arson?
Mike · Kramer:Jerry's still mad about that phony thing? / Are you kidding? It's all water near a bridge.
Mike:I'll get the money. I got a hundred in my pocket if you wanna reach in.
Kramer · Jerry · Mike:Okay, how about Mike fixes your trunk, we call it even, nobody has to get hurt. / Fine. / I won't forget this. I'm gonna fix your trunk good. Real good.
Mike:Stupid thumbs.
Mike:Stupid thumbs.
Mike · Kramer · Jerry:Somebody help. Help! [muffled from trunk] / Oh, the trunk's rattling. Jerry, I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.