Initiation

Brain teaser sequence where Jim knows all the answers immediately

Damn it!

Tell me what you did yesterday. Uh, nothing. Nothing? Yeah, nothing.

I don't care how your day was either, Jan. I was just asking you because you asked me.

And Carol came over. And we had sex.

Never, ever, ever sleep with your boss. I'm so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base.

Jan used to treat Michael like he was a 10-year-old. But lately it's like he's five.

Extremely excited? Just very. That's cool.

Is he gonna be a slacker-loser-wise-ass like Jim was, or is he gonna join the Dwight Army of Champions?

When you are ready to see the sales office, the sales office will present itself to you. Your journey begins now.

Chair theft sequence with Jim and Pam

Hey, Coselli! The Coz! The Cosby. Hey, hey, hey! I love Jell-O Pudding Pops! My son Theo love Jell-O Pudding Pops too.

I hold in my hand a beet seed. Take it. When you... Damn it.

I'm acting my heart out here.

And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you.

I don't think you know what you're saying.

It's called bullcrap. And a client can smell it from a mile away.

I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small. Drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive. And then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day... Well, I like pretzel day.

But what they were rapping about was cupcakes and The Chronicles of Narnia.

No, I'm not gonna settle down. No, no way. Uh-uh, boo! Get in the back, please. Boo! Back of the line!

What a pair of Marys.

Ryan's sarcastic recounting of Dwight's mentorship

Welcome to Schrute Farm!

Kelly singing with Jim trying to stop her

This is not a proportionate response.

Whatever happened to those guys?

Because I like them a certain way. And if it gets screwed up, then this whole thing's blown.

Pam, productivity starts with patience and determination.

I'll be back.

Look, man. I was in a frat in college. So I know what you're doing. I get it.

All toppings pretzel order

Mose is my cousin, and he lives here. He will always be my best friend. Unless things go well with Ryan today. In which case I won't hang out with Mose so much anymore.

Wrong. Flash floods.

Depression? Wrong. He hated himself.

Loneliness. Maybe women.

Wrong. He's not afraid of anything. Also, I would've accepted snakes.

You will now wrestle my cousin Mose!

You're a freak. I'm not doing this anymore and this is over.

Ryan, just get in the coffin.

Something he whittled.

You know, I wanted us to be a team. An unstoppable team that competed against other teams.

Screw gun! The sales call!

Deal or no deal? Let's make a deal. So what is the deal?

Michael always says K-I-S-S. 'Keep it simple, stupid.' Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time.

Did you have a lot of sugar today, Michael?

What's on your suit? Caramel dip.

Are we not? Are we not? Are we not? Are you with me? Are you with me?

It's those online paper jerks. The whole business is changing. You know what? They're gonna be screwed once this whole Internet fad is over.

Ryan the Temp vandalism sequence

Just think. That temp agency could've sent you anywhere.

I think about that all the time.

How do you confuse 28 Days with 28 Days Later?

Fancy New Beesly would make that up. New apartment, new stories...

Most apartments these days have, like, three. Three kitchens? Yes. How are you gonna cook every meal of the day in one kitchen?

364 days... Until the next pretzel day.