Business Trip

In Japan, you must always commit suicide to avoid embarrassment.

In Italy, you must always wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite.

To Canada. Where is it? Canada.

the women, the pancakes, the man of mystery

I am ashamed at your naked face. I must cover it with my jacket. You are now sexy in your culture.

T-minus... 6.5 days.

everyone here has just been so excited for me and involved and intrusive and weird

I'm going to buy a sweater. Michael, that's for your food. Well, I'll just... I'll use different money for that.

it's pretty tough to find somebody who wants to go up to Winnipeg mid-November

business-class air, like a five-star hotel in the sky... Actually better than a five-star hotel 'cause you get a big, cushy seat and you sit in a row of people

Two are empty. For souvenirs.

You wanna wear that puppy right up on the breastbone like a bra. No, I don't wanna wear a bra.

I'm just bidding a bon voyage à la mon petite fiancée. Translation, goodbye my petite fiancée.

Meaning I will try to get other dudes laid. Yeah, baby. That's what I'm talking about.

It's just a van. It's not just a van. Look, I know my way around a van. That is just a van.

Michael G. Scott rolling like a pimp.

Yes, this is Beth. This is my personal valet/flight attendant, and she will be helping me this morning. We need to keep the aisle clear. Yes. Get back. Get back.

Andy brought one, too. Harry and the Hendersons.

Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? My God, Oscar, really. Do you have a bag of baby poop in there, too, to share with everybody?

Oh, I'm sorry, there are no meals on flights less than two hours.

I think I'm going to use my complimentary blindfold. I will don it and... Oh. Look at that, I can't see because I am in... God!

Is that supposed to impress me?

Follow moi, bro-sieur.

A concierge is the Winnipeg equivalent of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure, and when you meet one, it is intoxicating.

I was. And then they switched to Acrobat just as I was learning Quark. I hate computers.

Good to see you again.

You look, how you say, radiant tonight. And it is, how you say, a beautiful night. Michael, why? She's foreign. I...

Everybody's going to end up dying some day, and I think it's better to die with some people that you like, like Oscar and Andy and Concierge Marie, than to know that there's somebody out there that you love that you're not with.

Come on, it's Dandy Dale and Foppy McGee over there.

Mademoiselle, beer me deux Long Island Iced Teas, s'il vous plaît.

Do you like apples? What? Do you like apples? Sorry, what? How do you like these apples?

It's Christmas Eve and everything is closed and you need to get some dry-cleaning done. 12:00, midnight, where do you go? What do you do?

I see through a hard exterior to a little jelly in the middle.

She has the softest skin I've ever seen, and I can't wait to have sex with her. You haven't had sex? No.

What is wrong with you? Why won't you do Andy? What? That's Oscar, and he wants to know why you won't do me, and I think it's a valid question.

I want to take you to sex school. What? Who is that, monkey? Is somebody there?

Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two different directions. What? Are there two suns? Last I checked, that's not an office building in the Andromeda Galaxy.

It's totally unrealistic. There are no lines in the parking lot.

Get the whole nine nards.

I thought I dreamed that. Oh, God. Oh, God! All right. Okay. This is so bad.

This can't happen again. This has to happen again. Darryl can't happen again.

Oh, my God, he's gonna kill us. I'd like to see him try.

He says it's cool. He said it's cool! That's all he wrote? That's all he wrote.

Didn't you two date for, like, a long time? Mmm-hmm. This is like a fairytale.

What's first base with Angela? I get to kiss her forehead.

You up for a chest bump? No. Bro hug?

The trip sucked, David. It blew chunks. It was terrible. It was a bad trip. I did not like the trip.

which was basically just a van, and business class which was basically just coach

A boss that will not fire you even though you just tell him off right to his face over the phone, that's respect.

It's just designing logos and stuff, and I miss Scranton, but it is not because I missed you.

I'm not going inside. All right. First thing in the morning, then.

I realized that, for whatever reason, I just couldn't do better than Kelly.