Moving On

Andy's elaborate defense of his lies about being in the office while sailing, claiming Oscar says hi 'all the time' in multiple languages

Andy lamenting missing his beard like 'a security blanket' after his breakup

Andy's butchered Bon Jovi reference: 'That's a poem by J.B. Jovi'

Andy's confessional: 'Vanilla Ice. He was a band.'

Andy breaks down crying mid-greeting to camera

Andy's talking head becomes increasingly emotional with multiple takes

Dwight: 'He sounds like a wounded animal. Should have put him out of his misery and just fired him.'

Dwight: 'I can't be around sad people. It makes me sad. I'm the same way with horny people.'

Erin: 'I mean, I saw Pete's butt. It's sick.'

Pam: 'It's with a real estate company, which is a great fit for me, because I live in a house and I know what a bathroom is.'

Pam: 'my resume can fit on a post-it note'

Dwight's dramatic entrance interrupting Angela with 'I need you'

Dwight's aunt Shirley description: 'her hair, her clothes, it's all falling off in great, big clumps'

Dwight: 'We had a nurse, but she quit, because she was "poisoned" by aunt Shirley.'

Dwight: 'Or lemonade and strychnine, which is actually what it was.'

Dwight's description of aunt Shirley's 'prehensile wing' body part

Clark: 'Not on a three-month boat trip. Oh, burn.'

Andy and Jim's passive-aggressive sweater exchange

Andy coining nicknames: 'Nard Dog, Plop, and Clarker Posey, A.K.A. Clarkwork Orange'

Clark's sad bachelor confession: 'Last night I ordered a pizza by myself, and I ate it over the sink like a rat.'

Aunt Shirley: 'Who's this little kitchen witch? She's so tiny, like a little kitchen witch.'

Aunt Shirley: 'How would you like a mean, cold slap?' followed by actually slapping Angela

Andy gathering the men: 'Darryl, Clark, Kevin, Toby, plop, take a knee.'

Pete's realization: 'It just occurred to me that Andy has been calling me plop for so long he forgot my real name. Which is Pete.'

Jim's bluetooth headset: 'I know where you're going with this, and this is who I am now. I'm a douche.'

Andy's chlamydia lie: 'I just got off the phone with my doctor, and turns out I contracted ch-lamydia from Erin. And it's incurable.'

Andy's improvised firing song: '♪ So you had a bad day / ♪ You're a big idiot, get out of my office ♪'

Andy reading relationship contract: 'Every phrase is like a dagger in my crotch.'

Mark's Django reference: 'I'm the horrible boss around here, but please don't hire Jamie Foxx to kill me.'

Mark's uncomfortable racism comment: 'I don't agree with the use of the n-word in that movie. It's too soon.'

Mark's forced office enthusiasm: 'They call me Marky Mark around here, because here at Simon realty we are one funky bunch.'

Pam's realization: 'Oh, my God. He's Michael Scott.'

Angela taking charge of Aunt Shirley care: 'I'm gonna give your aunt a proper bath and a haircut like a lady.'

Nellie's Scranton Strangler advice: 'Do something about it. Get it out of your system, whatever it takes.'

Mark's failed 'chillax' command and Roger's defiant response

Mark's accent attempts: '[Brooklyn accent] cawfee talk' and 'Like buttah'

Andy's Juliet comparison: 'I feel like the guy Juliet dated before Romeo. Probably her boss.'

Kevin's booger observation and Andy's response: 'My whole life is a booger bubble.'

Mark reading Pam's upside-down resume and his gibberish reaction

Mark's existential crisis: 'I mean, they worship me, you know, but do they like me?'

Mark's Bob Dylan impression during job interview

Andy's crude translation: 'the ol' one-two punch to my scrotum pole, translation--penis, translation--my manhood'

Mark's pregnancy policy: 'The last three girls here all got pregnant... It's a different chair.'

Mark's receptionist explanation: 'Like a receptionist, but we call you the office manager, because it's less demeaning.'

Pam's final decision: 'I spent ten years as a receptionist to Michael Scott. And I have kids now. And I just-- I can't.'

Toby's Bogart impression: '[As Bogart] I think this is the start of my first friendship.'

Gabe's weight description: 'Feel how fat my buttocks are... It's like a warm pumpkin.'

Toby's strangling aftermath and Nellie's commentary about 'the proud neck of justice'

Aunt Shirley's scarecrow wisdom: 'That's what Mose said about his lady scarecrow, and look what he did to that poor thing.'

Jim's consolation champagne: 'It's from the part of France that immediately gave up to the Nazis.'

Dwight's life proposal: 'The 80 or 90 years that I have left of this life... I want to spend with you.'

Gabe's button-down confession: 'I still wear Erin's button-downs around the condo sometimes, so it feels to me like we're still in a relationship'

Gabe's love confession story: 'She'd plug her ears and scream her heart out.'

Gabe's KKK music question: 'So you like songs of hate written by the white knights of ku klux klan?'

Gabe's smooth porpoise line: 'I am as smooth as a porpoise for you.'

Jim's Odd Life of Timothy Green poster detail and Pam's reaction

Clark's workout philosophy: 'My trainer said, "everybody fails working out." That's how you win.'

Clark stuck upside-down asking for help while everyone ignores him