Paper Airplane

Quarter finals in an hour, hope you got some sleep, because I'm going to be haunting your nightmares tonight.

It's not so easy on the environment, if you know what I mean.

Others seemed not to comprehend what a paper airplane is.

I didn't see you! You should have yelling 'crossing!'

We are now down to an elite eight. Well, seven, and Toby.

Last week I got an agent, and uh, this week I got a movie.

It's going to be seen by tons of workers in the industrial chemical community, one of whom could have a cousin whose brother is Brad Pitt, and then boom!

Next thing you know, I'm in Moneyballs 2.

I'm so freaked out by things going into eyes. It just... Wow.

And remember, do not attempt to extinguish a chemical fire with water. It will only exacerbate the flame. The dangerous flame.

Let's do it six more times.

So, we had couples therapy. No shame in that. Get it all out in the open.

Oh, we're supposed to call everything we don't want to do 'opportunities.'

Oh, and, Oscar, I already figured out if I have to get emotional in the film, I'm just gonna think about you getting dumped by the Senator.

It's a little raw. Not cool, Oscar.

Not one of us remembers you saying anything about $2,000. I forgot. I completely forgot.

But my new studio apartment is just fine for me and Phillip and Tinkie and Crinklepuss and Bandit Two and Pawlick Baggins and Lady Aragorn and their 10 kittens.

I'd be one of those gold-digging tramps you read about that try to bag a farmer.

Let's be honest, when it came to manured fields, Angela was, at best, indifferent.

I once ripped Greedy Susan's pigtail right off her head just for a handful of Crispix.

That's the clicky-clacker. He clicks that, and then the guy says, 'Action.'

We just need a picture of the top of your head in case we burn some of your hair off.

Kevin, did you make that yourself? Yes. In a way. From one that I bought on Craigslist.

I can't. I love them all too much. And none of them fly. So that makes it harder.

Like Wilbur and Orville Redenbacher.

But, to speak my truth, it wasn't out of the way, because I felt like a tea anyway, so one trip.

I just made a character choice to be a scientist who really likes what he does and enjoys his job.

It's Tom Brokaw, the newscaster. Come on.

Yeah! Oh, eat it, piggy! Eat it! Oink, oink, oink.

So, there might just be a little bit of feather in your nuggets or just a little bit of meat inside of your pillow.

I'm not comfortable doing my own stunts.

I'll get nude if you want me to. I'll go full Lena Dunham, but I...

Carla!

Andy, if you don't stick your eyes in that machine, I'm gonna call every production in Northeastern Pennsylvania. You won't even make an appearance on a security camera!

Andy Bernard can't squirt water in his eye and act like it doesn't freak him out. But you know who can? Older Male Lab Assistant Number One.

I was gonna buy you a sweater. So this is stupid.

I acknowledge with gratitude that you are being kind and responsible enough to include it in your calendar.

Are you guys high? Because, if so, to speak my truth, I would appreciate the sacrifice of including me in some hits off your kind buds.

We want you to win. Dwight told me about your situation. It's such a pity. Just use the money wisely.

I know a guy who can turn that into $800. Hint, it's me.

I don't need pity, and I don't need charity. I have my dignity, and that's enough. And as long as I have that, I'll be okay.

Love suffers long and is kind. It is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails.