The One Where Rachel Finds Out

This sure trumps the 'Has he pooped?' series.

Ross, we love him, okay? But right now he's just a little fat guy. How excited can we get?

-What you got? -400 pictures of Ben on a rug.

Look, he's got Ross' haircut.

That would be nice.

-Pardon? -Nothing. Just a little extra air in my mouth.

Including the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars.

Just, you know, science. Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that.

Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time.

Thank you, God. This will bring us so much joy.

You're gonna be making money hand over fist.

That's funny. Very funny.

The ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys.

Men are here!

We make fire. Cook meat. Put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.

You think I'd tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?

Crazy bitch.

Joey, we always know what you mean.

-China? -For the museum. Someone found a bone. They don't want us to have it.

It's a whole big bone thing.

Hi, Ben. I'm your father.

I am The Head!

No, this big pile of dishes in my mom's breakfront.

Let's see. Alvin, Simon, Theodore... No.

Of course, there they just call it 'food.'

I may only have a couple beers in me, but I love you.

I'm still on my first.

I just think you're nice.

We call ourselves 'The Three Basketeers.' Like 'The Three Musketeers,' only with fruit.

Have you ever thought about being there for her?

Not following you.

It's Dr. Seuss! That book got me through some tough times.

There's a little child inside this man. The doctors say if they remove it, he'll die.

Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane?

What did you just say?

Crystal duck.

That's good. Just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.

No, it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee.

Is there a mute button on this woman?

He's watching a woman do this:

-What about time difference? -From here to the airport?

Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first!

Rachel loved the present. She'll see you when you get back.

Toby, I don't know what she's talking about. There's no Rachel. Don't give me that deep freeze.

You know what? Forget about me. Let's give you another turn.

Boy, somebody's gonna get a big fruit basket tomorrow!

You're practically a woman.

A woman!

Pizza coupons.

Are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I throw it out?

Oh, my God, me too! We'd be like friends-in-law!

You start on the 15th date.

Then why are you dumping my brother?

The fact you'd even ask shows how little you know me.

I know. My room's very, very close to the parade route.

I didn't know you had another level.

Well, it's the thought.

-Come on up. -Behind my brother's back?

When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this?

I can't believe you'd rather go out with him than me.

I mean, come on, buddy! Get a real car!

But it only has to happen once.

And I'm gonna be the guy caught behind this hammerhead in traffic!

No, he's a banker with opera tickets.

I haven't watched Baywatch with Yasmine Bleeth!

Toby, for God's sake, will you let it go? There's no Rachel!

You don't think they'll judge me?

-No, they will. I just... -Can't wait!