Rock Show

Your boobs are dead.

Wow, it's like a sweaty piñata.

Hey, my iPod! Oh, yeah! My pirate!

Andy immediately falling over when trying to walk

Sandwich! Are you turkey or ham?

Lamp! Wish you were a lamp that would light up when you get touched

You know... I don't really like to define it but it's like Matchbox Twenty meets The Fray. So, rock. Well, again, I don't really like to define it.

Oh, you guys. You know how I love mixing work into my personal life.

Apparently, what I can achieve in government can literally be measured.

It's one of those rare songs that rocks really hard, and also informs people about a small public works project.

The band has had a few different names over the years... [long list ending with] ...and now we are Scarecrow Boat. God, when I hear myself say Scarecrow Boat out loud, I kind of hate it.

Not my kids, 'cause they're grown-up, but it was tough on their kids.

And she looks like a young Sandy Duncan.

You don't have to have sex with him if you don't want to.

My ex-wife Tammy cheated on me. Then we divorced. Then last week, I ran into her sister Beth here. Turns out she hates Tammy, too, so we've started dating. It's like a fairy tale.

Look at how hot she is. Isn't that crazy? And she's a surgeon. She makes a ton of money! Bam!

He's like the gayest person I've ever met. But I make out with him when I'm drunk sometimes.

Apparently, tonight, I'm the Parks Department's seventh wheel.

Just a taste. Have a little taste of chicken! Just a bit! Just a taste! Chicken, chicken, chicken!

Could you grab me a triple whiskey water?

The last rock show I went to was the Everly Brothers.

Ann [sung repeatedly]

They should change their name to Big, Lying Baby. Or Where's My Sandwich? Or Don't Forget To Bring Home Beers After Work.

But if I were, would you be interested? No. Okay.

Pit! I fell in it, the pit / You fell in it, the pit / We all fell in it, the pit

No! Screw it! We are Mouse Rat!

Todd graduated in 2005, so you probably missed him.

Dead or asleep?

She used to read him books at the senior center. He's six, but he has Benjamin Button's disease.

You should be dating men that Al Roker announces their birthdays.

That time we were also at a bar. And he was also pretty drunk.

You think I can get my beer bottle in that shopping cart right there?

You missed the entire pit, which is huge, by the way.

I really, really like it when you serve me food.

Look, I mean, you got Dirt Slide over here, you got Ring Around The Diaper you could play there. You've got Duck, Duck, Glass you could play right there. Mystery Trash.

I mean, Kennedy put a man on the moon. I can build one park.

This isn't the way I want this to happen again.

Mark falling into the pit

Pit! I fell in it, the pit / You fell in it, the pit / We all fell in it, the pit