The One with the Bullies

Why are we watching the Business Channel? Because the other day I saw there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it.

Sometimes it takes two or three hours before it comes up again. But when it does, it's exciting.

Honey, you really need a job.

On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say, 'Huh?'

Which is my father's last name... And they were serving franks... which is his first name, minus the 's' at the end.

His Indian name?

Hamburger? McDonald's? Old McDonald had a farm. My dad is a pharmacist.

Ah.

Okay. There is one more way to say it. Who knows it?

Is that supposed to be funny? Actually, I was going for colorful.

I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My joke is that I took your hat.

You know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke.

Because it's a special hat. He bought it because he was feeling down one day. So he got the hat to cheer himself up, you know?

Stop talking. Stop talking now.

Let me get this straight. You're stealing my hat? You got a problem? I just want to make sure we're on the same page.

How can I take a job where I have to make Laverne-and-Curly Fries?

Monica, relax. Go get a beer. I don't want a beer. Who said it was for you?

Oh, hi. Oh... Oh, no, wait a minute. I have no one.

Forget it. It's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.

Do you realize that if I'd invested my $127 in myself yesterday... that I'd, like, have a lot more than that today.

What's to know? Buy, sell. High, low. Bears, bulls. Yes, Manhattan. Telephone number to the stock... selling store.

No mayo. No, because mayo, that would make it gross.

Get the hell off my leg, you yippity piece of crap!

The dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich. What does that tell you?

Do you have to be a Century 21 real-estate agent to get to wear those cool jackets?

Do you say this stuff to girls?

I'll tell you what, you call the couch, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.

We didn't want to have to go and do that.

Let's take this outside.

Who talks like that?

The guy who's about to kick your ass talks like that. You had to ask.

I think you played the Gunther card too soon.

I just think that this was a really bad sign. Like the beast at the threshold.

And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we shared a womb.

Uh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.

Time is money, my friend! You missed 'Takes money to make money' and 'Don't make me come down there and kick your Wall Street butt.'

I had breakfast here, so technically I saved $3.50.

Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Erik Estrada. And ZXY because I think it sounds 'zexy.'

MEG was good for me, but I dumped her. My motto is, 'Get out before they go down.' That is so not my motto.

And he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back. So still hoping.

What will I say, 'Hi, I'm the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'

I know where your dog is. I want you to know he'll be returned to you almost as good as new within 24 hours. Goodbye.

Why the voice? Hard to say.

The package says to keep it moving. Stir and drink, never let it settle.

And I don't want to drink cappuccino with a 'k.'

Ross, have you ever been beaten up before? Yeah, sure. By someone besides Monica? No.

Couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Because I think actually mine's growing back.

I don't want to have to wear flame-retardant boobs.

Nobody does, honey.

Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him.

If it's raining, you can't let him look up too long because that cone will fill up fast.

He left four years ago. We're expecting him back any minute.

One time, I was upstairs stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse, and all of a sudden I look over, and there's Dad's head, bobbing past the window.

But you know what's cool? If you had a friend named Pete, I could say: 'I know Pete. He's friends with my brother.'

If you want, I can show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.

Bullies! Big bullies!

A nice watch. I don't want to break it on your ribs.

Question: If I don't care about my watch, can I use it as a weapon? It's sharp, it's metal. I think I can do some serious damage with it.

Of course. Why wouldn't you hit faces? I have to work on Monday. I have a big presentation.

Actually, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow, and this no-faces thing might not be a bad idea. Dana's ovulating. Oh, really? You guys trying again?

Let me get this straight. We're talking about the middle?

Those guys are taking our stuff! Hey, hey!

Any one of us could have tripped over that little girl's jump rope.

So can I have my hat back? No. Huh.

Hi, Monica! How's it going? Hey, nice boobs.

It's fun to stay at the YMCA