The One with Chandler and Monica's Wedding (Part 2)

Can this count as her 'something new'?

It's turning into the worst wedding ever. The bride's pregnant, the groom's missing and I'm holding this.

Just for the future. This is hardly a commercial for it.

It seemed like I called to chat. Pretty sure they both think I'm interested.

Give me two. Then why do you ask?

You're tired. You looked all night. And clearly, you suck at this.

Maybe I should just forget about it. Become a lesbian or something.

Maybe I'd feel better if I slept with Joey.

I'm having surgery.

Hair transplant. But you're not bald. It's not on my head.

I'm wearing two belts.

How'd you guys find me? I knew I should've hid at the gym.

And using the Internet to try to prove that I'm related to Monica.

They yell, fight, and use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games.

Have you ever put on a black dress and asked me up to your hotel room?

I don't race cars or make popcorn. None of my proceeds go to charity.

But look, Chandler, right now no one has a lower opinion of you than I do.

Depends on what you mean by 'we.'

Days and nights are hard, I get it.

Oh, good God, I've fallen down.

We can't find Chandler... His vest.

For a minute, I was like, 'Oh, my God. The worst has happened.'

Damn it.

Don't hang up on me. I'll marry you and me right now. I have the power.

They're my friends, Monica Stephanopolis. And Chandler Acidophilus.

You can't ask us, son. That's cheating.

When we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress. That was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then. Honey, it isn't good luck.

Why would you play hide-and-seek with someone you know is a flight risk?

You wouldn't happen to have a very big fork?

Is that my ass?

Hi-yah!

What, you'll 'hi-yah'?

Cigarettes? Big picture, please.

You obviously didn't see Chuckie III.

I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce.

Not that old crone. My mother.

Not now.

As are you.

You may be confused by this now, but you won't be Memorial Day weekend, 2002.

Let's get started before the groom takes off again.

As I've left my notes in my dressing room, we shall proceed to the vows.

Unless you don't want to.

Oh, wait. Do you take each other?

Oh, crap.

What baby? Our baby. We have a baby?

Look at them. And they're gonna have a baby.