The One Where Rachel Has a Baby (Part 2)

Not bad. You know that feeling, trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?

I didn't know you were pregnant. Who's the unwitting human whose essence you've stolen?

I'd have to say the talking gorilla. 'Cause at least I could explain to him that you're making me eat him.

Oh. Somebody went to college.

Relax. It's not like we're forking.

Oh, look at you making up crap for me.

Do something! Get me drugs... or you light a fire up in there and just smoke it out!

Beat you, sucker! Oh, baby.

Oh. Okay, Mr. Percocet.

Fake? Excuse me? Hello?

She was married to a gay ice dancer.

She gave birth to her brother's triplets.

Her twin sister used to do porn.

We're trying to dial down the crazy.

Me, neither!

Don't say 'Oh, my God!' What?!

I thought she had two heads.

I can't do it. Please, you do it for me!

Oh, thanks for coming out of me.

Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller-Greene.

Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex.

I mean, one minute she's inside you... and then 47 hours later, here she is.

She looks so real. You know what I mean.

Oh, I could squeeze your little head. I won't.

I don't see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet.

Wait, it's not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original.

That's not her name. I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel like an Isabella.

Oh, great! At least she sounds like a biblical whore.

Oh, no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good, isn't it?

See, I don't want it.

Besides, nothing goes with Bing. So I'm screwed.

Aaron Lipman-Guralnick would like to say hello to his future bride.

Well, then he gets a divorce. It's Ross.

I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend a weekend with her father... and little Miss New Boobs.

Man, you see the kid on that nose?

And so it begins.

Oh, what, are you kidding? She's gorgeous! It's all Rachel.

Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were 15.

It is like a freak show up here.

Please. He'll be with his real family. The twins and little Miss New Boobs.

And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.