In an effort to freshen up the guest list, Larry agrees to have a controversial performance on, then chickens out when he sees the guy's routine.
WAR
68.9
Wins Above Replacement
“The Performance Artist” ranks #3 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.0 — Elite. The episode packs 52 scored jokes at 2.3 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
A sperm looking like Jesse Helms tries to catch me. I elude him and find a willing lesbian ovum.
And has she been released?
No. She's still in the can.
Artie: Listen to me, Melody, the man said "butt plug" three times! And you and I both know you can't--
You can say "butt plug"? Since when?
Larry: I agree.
Then don't say anything.
Larry: I got excited. I had the answer.
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Hank: I'm not mentioned in either article.
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 52 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry: When does that come out?
George: I don't know.
And has she been released?
No. She's still in the can.
Artie: I almost had to run to the can myself
Artie Callback Wordplay/Pun Callback Larry: But we have him on every month, Artie.
Artie: Hank's on every night.
Larry: I've been meaning to talk to you about that.
Larry Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Artie: Ben vereen. Up and tapping, thank god. Susan dey. Pertful little skirtfull.
Artie Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Artie: That's why the good lord invented videotape.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Larry: 10:00 tomorrow!
Artie: That means 10:30?
Larry: Yeah. 10:30 sharp.
Hank: Mark my words, children. Somebody is going down. They started with Jerry. They'll do it again.
Hank Character Comedy Escalation Phil: We didn't introduce R.E.M. as "rem" last week.
Hank: Oh, my brave, brave Phil. Always with the jokes and yet so very desperate.
Phil Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch If somebody gets fired, it will be me.
No. No, it is. I've been here the shortest time.
Hank: He'll take antidepressants, and everything will be normal.
Hank Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Larry: I'm just getting a haircut.
Larry Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hank: Hey, a haircut, huh?
Larry: No. He's just checking it.
Hank: That's a great haircut.
Larry: He's just started.
Larry: Do you want to just give me one second?
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: I can sum up with one word-- guests.
Artie: Guests. Thank you, Jesus.
What did you think the problem was?
[All] Guests.
Larry: I know you, Kiki. How's your... How's your, uh--
Kiki: Well. Thanks.
Could you repeat that last part?
Which part?
About the people...
Was I unclear about--
Clear to me.
Perfectly clear.
Hank: Could you repeat that last part?
Larry: Which part?
Hank: About the people...
Larry: Was I unclear about--
Hank: Clear to me. Perfectly clear.
Hank Larry Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: And who is Al Nelson?
He's the plate spinner.
He was a regular on Sullivan 30 years ago.
He's older now, and he's started using Chinette, but people still flip for him.
Phil: This is a booking problem, right?
Artie: Phil, shut the fuck up.
Larry: I'll handle it. Phil, shut the fuck up.
Larry: Mike, you're new here.
Mike: I'll let that slide, but--
Larry: Hank, put your hand down.
Hank: Robert Conrad.
No. No. Owes me a favor. Pick up the phone. Hello, Bobby.
Hank Character Comedy Escalation Hank: Raymond Burr, with whom I once had the honor of playing golf.
Hank: Hello, Perry.
Hank Character Comedy Escalation Callback Artie: Performance art. That's a bunch of dog poop. What does he do? Get stark naked? Cover himself with chocolate syrup?
Artie Character Comedy Observational Reading the pretentious review: 'A garrulous assault of anecdote, humor, observation, and social comment punctuated by movement and channeled through life experience.'
A sperm looking like Jesse Helms tries to catch me. I elude him and find a willing lesbian ovum.
Larry: All right. All right. That is not necessary.
Larry Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Larry: I apologize for our audience. Let's try and stay open.
Hank: Right. Stay open.
Larry Hank Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Audience member: Go back to San Francisco!
Tim Miller: I'm from L.A.
Artie: I warned you with my eyes.
Larry: I heard nothing. I saw nothing.
Larry: The tape was not that gay.
Larry Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Larry: He's talking about butt plugs. He's talking about his father's orgasm.
Larry Escalation Observational Artie · Tim Miller: 'We think you're terrific, Timbo.' immediately followed by Tim asking not to be called Timbo
Artie: Listen to me, Melody, the man said "butt plug" three times! And you and I both know you can't--
You can say "butt plug"? Since when?
Larry: The network says that it is our decision and they find no problem with the piece.
Artie: What do you mean?
Artie: They're hanging us out to dry.
Artie: You can say 'butt plug'? Since when?
Artie Absurdist Observational Callback Artie: I'll count to 10, and if you agree with my choice, don't say anything.
Larry: I agree.
Artie: Then don't say anything.
Larry: I got excited. I had the answer.
Larry: I agree.
Then don't say anything.
Larry: I got excited. I had the answer.
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Phil: I told my friends to watch Tim Miller last night.
Why, Phil?
Phil: They haven't seen anything that good since my college roommate's nervous breakdown.
Phil Artie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz Smith review: 'Sanders cans performance by Miller. Late-night funny man Larry Sanders couldn't take the heat last night, so he threw Mr. Miller out of the kitchen.'
Staff: Calling him the Jesse Helms of late-night television.
Artie: Well, hell. That's not so bad.
Hank: I'm not mentioned in either article.
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: Your brain doesn't have any cognizance of anything.
Larry Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Larry: And my, uh, whole face. It looks great.
George: Your whole face.
Guest comedian: If you're so square, I might as well do Leno.
Audience: Ooh!
Larry: I hide them behind a desk.
Larry Escalation Visual Gag Callback Tim Miller: And don't call me Timbo anymore, okay?
Tim Miller: Television degrades everybody on it and everybody who watches it.
Tim Miller · Competing host: Tim Miller performing the same material on a competing show and being celebrated
Larry: Turn it off. You know, Tim's great. He's got a story to tell. He's telling how we screwed him.
Guest: There's this comic I saw on the Leno show-- a guy named Tim Miller-- who would have been sensational. He's the kind of guy who'd be perfect on this show. You should book him.
Guest Irony/Sarcasm Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
