Larry tries to decide about warning an elated Hank about his new bride when the ""Hey now!"" guy announces he's going to marry a younger woman he has just recently met.
WAR
91.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Hank's Wedding” ranks #37 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 88.1 — Elite. The episode packs 73 scored jokes at 3.1 per minute, averaging 7.4 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Larry Sanders landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Artie: Keith, let's get rid of these red gels. We're not marrying two McDonald's French fries.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Visual Gag ★ Rewatch ♪ I love the way You eat gravel / To help you digest ♪
Larry: I can't believe I read those vows. My career is over.
Adam Sandler: ♪ I love your breasts ♪
All Jokes — 73 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Adam Sandler: ♪ I love your breasts ♪
♪ I love the way You eat gravel / To help you digest ♪
Adam Sandler: ♪ But I know / That the worst I should fear / Is a slight case Of salmonella ♪
Artie Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ♪ If an egg can fit in there, Why can't i? ♪
♪ My little / Chicken likes to wear Garter belts ♪♪
Larry: I have got to start Coming to rehearsal.
Larry: What the fuck do you Think that is, huh? What is this, love connection?
Hank: You can't hurt me. I'm invincible. I got the shield Of love around me.
Artie: Wall of love, my ass.
She happens to be Regional sales manager For the sandwich king.
Larry: We wouldn't Do that. Not to your face.
Larry: Should I get A bundt cake?
Larry: Please, no pictures.
Beverly: You must be Beverly.
Margaret: Yes, margaret, hi.
Sharon: Um... I'm margaret. I'm sharon. I'm from the temp agency.
Larry: The woman's clearly Half his age. They've known Each other two weeks.
Beverly: I believe that's a product.
Larry: I'm on my fourth wife And, uh-- Fifth.
Whoa. Ooh.
[All chuckling]
Unknown Awkward Silence Reaction Beat Larry: She's too pretty. She's too young. What is Hank doing With someone so normal?
Artie: Any woman would want To marry that.
Larry: Me?
Artie: Ah, you're right.
Hank: Larry, we rarely Discuss our feelings, But I love you As much as that girl.
Hank: I hope margaret and i Can be as happy As you and Francine.
Francine: That is the most Cynical pile of bullshit That I have ever heard In my entire life.
Larry: Your mother Said what?
Francine: My lawyer.
Larry: Your-- oh.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Larry: [Whispers] If Hank could only See us like this.
Larry: Danny devito?
Hank: Nicholson.
Larry: Oh, yeah. I can see that.
Hank: My god. How could you Possibly know that?
Larry: You should know by now I can see into your soul.
Beverly: The liebowitz bar mitzvah Is booked that week.
Larry: May I remind you Of my old friend tiny tim? As I recall, That was a freak show.
Artie: A highly rated one.
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Larry: You want high ratings? Let's do who shot Hank Kingsley?
Artie: Hank, three words-- Luke and laura.
Artie: Now, that is what I call great television.
Larry: You didn't Like Jeannie? Why didn't you say-- The girl was bad news. Why didn't you Say something?
Larry: I won't fire you. Tell me what you Think of Francine.
Hank: Please, no hookers.
Larry: All right.
Larry: We'll work our Way up to wild. All right.
Hank: Both nuts.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Larry: We should book her On the show, Artie. As a regular. As anything. As a sidekick!
Hank: You, sir, Are a sidekick's dream.
Ed McMahon: Never let 'em See you sweat. You can take that To the bank!
Ed McMahon: Well, I'm not Who you think I am.
Fan: Thanks, mr. Brenner.
Larry: I'm saving it For the wedding.
Everyone: Toast! Toast! Toast!
Ed McMahon: Yeah, but it's No golden horseshoe. Hell, no. I told them that.
Larry: Jesus christ! You're all Starry-eyed now, And two months From now, You'll wake up At night And not know who The fuck she is.
Larry: Get a porsche The way everybody Else does. It won't cost you as much, I'm telling you... In the long run.
Hank: I don't have Any fucking money. It's all in the restaurant.
Hank: Hey! No one Gets to be happy Except the great Larry Sanders.
Artie: Keith, let's get rid of these red gels. We're not marrying two McDonald's French fries.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Visual Gag ★ Rewatch We're lighting Hank's bellybutton.
Artie: Honesty is The worst policy.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm That would be the lollipop guild Because he's not that tall.
Larry: It's semi-formal, so you people At home have time to change.
Artie: Gavin MacLeod is standing by.
Hank: I won't be married by the Love Boat captain.
Artie: Gavin macleod Is standing by.
Hank: I won't be married by The love boat captain.
Phil: We don't need one. There are 10 million People watching.
Phil: But can you Trust them?
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential Alex Trebek: Today, the answer is... Margaret dolan And Hank Kingsley.
Artie · Hank Kingsley: 'Gavin MacLeod is standing by. He'd love to do this.' / 'I won't be married by the Love Boat captain.'
Francine: If you like This wedding, Maybe we can have ours On the show.
Larry: What?
Francine: I'm... Joking.
Larry: Remember when That awful hurricane Happened there, And don johnson And melanie griffith Got trapped?
Hey, tell vanna I said hi.
Alex Trebek Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Larry: I can't believe I read those vows. My career is over.
Larry: Don't make that sound. I've asked you nicely.
Artie: Wait till tomorrow, When you See those sweet, Sweet ratings. Yeah! Then you'll Get it.
Margaret: Haven't I asked you Not to drink this much?
Hank: Watch out, You big buffalo. He doesn't like To be kissed.
Larry: I'm not reading-- I'm not reading these again. Go. I'm not-- I only knew like.
Margaret: Meet my dad, Harold dolan.
Harold: Hey, there, The pleasure is All yours!
Harold: Just kidding.
Artie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Hank Kingsley · Larry Sanders · Margaret: 'I'd like you to read them again. Just one more time.' / 'Are you serious?' / 'Yeah. "And I — but I only knew like. But I only knew like."' / 'I'm not reading—' / 'I only knew like.' / 'Oh, beautiful.'
Hank · Larry · Margaret: Hank demands Larry re-read the vows at the reception: 'I'd like you to read them again. Just one more time.' / Larry (incredulous): 'Are you serious?' / They read: 'But I only knew like.' / Margaret: 'Oh, beautiful.'
Larry Sanders: 'I'm sorry for questioning why she was marrying you. It's so clear that she's marrying you because of the man you are.'
Margaret · Harold Dolan: 'Meet my dad, Harold Dolan.' / 'Hey, there, the pleasure is all yours!' / [Laughing] 'Just kidding.'
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