Hank's Wedding

♪ My little chicken ♪

Adam Sandler:♪ I love your breasts ♪

♪ I love the way You eat gravel / To help you digest ♪

Adam Sandler:♪ But I know / That the worst I should fear / Is a slight case Of salmonella ♪

♪ If an egg can fit in there, Why can't i? ♪

♪ My little / Chicken likes to wear Garter belts ♪♪

Larry:I have got to start Coming to rehearsal.

Larry:What the fuck do you Think that is, huh? What is this, love connection?

Hank:You can't hurt me. I'm invincible. I got the shield Of love around me.

Artie:Wall of love, my ass.

She happens to be Regional sales manager For the sandwich king.

Larry:We wouldn't Do that. Not to your face.

Larry:Should I get A bundt cake?

Larry:Please, no pictures.

Beverly:You must be Beverly.

Margaret:Yes, margaret, hi.

Sharon:Um... I'm margaret. I'm sharon. I'm from the temp agency.

Larry:The woman's clearly Half his age. They've known Each other two weeks.

Beverly:I believe that's a product.

Larry:I'm on my fourth wife And, uh-- Fifth.

Whoa. Ooh.

[All chuckling]

Larry:She's too pretty. She's too young. What is Hank doing With someone so normal?

Artie:Any woman would want To marry that.

Larry:Me?

Artie:Ah, you're right.

Larry:Yeah. Me neither.

Hank:Larry, we rarely Discuss our feelings, But I love you As much as that girl.

Hank:I hope margaret and i Can be as happy As you and Francine.

Francine:That is the most Cynical pile of bullshit That I have ever heard In my entire life.

Larry:Your mother Said what?

Francine:My lawyer.

Larry:Your-- oh.

Larry:[Whispers] If Hank could only See us like this.

Larry:Danny devito?

Hank:Nicholson.

Larry:Oh, yeah. I can see that.

Hank:My god. How could you Possibly know that?

Larry:You should know by now I can see into your soul.

Beverly:The liebowitz bar mitzvah Is booked that week.

Larry:May I remind you Of my old friend tiny tim? As I recall, That was a freak show.

Artie:A highly rated one.

Larry:You want high ratings? Let's do who shot Hank Kingsley?

Artie:Hank, three words-- Luke and laura.

Artie:Now, that is what I call great television.

Larry:You didn't Like Jeannie? Why didn't you say-- The girl was bad news. Why didn't you Say something?

Larry:I won't fire you. Tell me what you Think of Francine.

Hank:Please, no hookers.

Larry:All right.

Larry:We'll work our Way up to wild. All right.

Hank:Both nuts.

Larry:We should book her On the show, Artie. As a regular. As anything. As a sidekick!

Hank:You, sir, Are a sidekick's dream.

Ed McMahon:Never let 'em See you sweat. You can take that To the bank!

Ed McMahon:Well, I'm not Who you think I am.

Fan:Thanks, mr. Brenner.

Larry:I'm saving it For the wedding.

Everyone:Toast! Toast! Toast!

Ed McMahon:Yeah, but it's No golden horseshoe. Hell, no. I told them that.

Larry:Jesus christ! You're all Starry-eyed now, And two months From now, You'll wake up At night And not know who The fuck she is.

Larry:Get a porsche The way everybody Else does. It won't cost you as much, I'm telling you... In the long run.

Hank:I don't have Any fucking money. It's all in the restaurant.

Hank:Hey! No one Gets to be happy Except the great Larry Sanders.

Larry:Go fuck yourself.

Artie:Keith, let's get rid of these red gels. We're not marrying two McDonald's French fries.

We're lighting Hank's bellybutton.

Artie:Honesty is The worst policy.

Larry:So do i.

That would be the lollipop guild Because he's not that tall.

Larry:It's semi-formal, so you people At home have time to change.

Artie:Gavin MacLeod is standing by.

Hank:I won't be married by the Love Boat captain.

Artie:Gavin macleod Is standing by.

Hank:I won't be married by The love boat captain.

Phil:We don't need one. There are 10 million People watching.

Phil:But can you Trust them?

Alex Trebek:Today, the answer is... Margaret dolan And Hank Kingsley.

Audience:[Scattered laughter]

Francine:If you like This wedding, Maybe we can have ours On the show.

Larry:What?

Francine:I'm... Joking.

Larry:Remember when That awful hurricane Happened there, And don johnson And melanie griffith Got trapped?

Hey, tell vanna I said hi.

Larry:I can't believe I read those vows. My career is over.

Larry:Don't make that sound. I've asked you nicely.

Artie:Wait till tomorrow, When you See those sweet, Sweet ratings. Yeah! Then you'll Get it.

Margaret:Haven't I asked you Not to drink this much?

Hank:Watch out, You big buffalo. He doesn't like To be kissed.

Larry:I'm not reading-- I'm not reading these again. Go. I'm not-- I only knew like.

Margaret:Meet my dad, Harold dolan.

Harold:Hey, there, The pleasure is All yours!

Harold:Just kidding.