Regis Philbin causes some major unrest when he intimates to Hank that there might be place for him on Regis' new show. Larry and Artie worry about what guest Bobcat Goldthwait might do to top his chair-burning incident on The Tonight Show.
WAR
65.1
Wins Above Replacement
“Like No Business I Know” ranks #5 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 84.2 — Elite. The episode packs 60 scored jokes at 2.1 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Hank landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Assistant: Margaret called. She says it's urgent.
Hank: See that? Yeah, I'm really pussy whipped. She call from home or the car?
Assistant: Home.
Hank: Yeah, like I give a shit.
Bobcat: Dance for us, monkey boy! Dance! Aah!
Bobcat Meta/Self-Referential Escalation ★ Rewatch Larry: If I was pussy-whipped, you'd be talking to me the way I'm talking to you now.
Larry Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sid: The last time I had lunch with my wife I ended up redoing the living room in a pattern that I'm not allowed to sit down on
Sid Observational Escalation ★ Rewatch Bobcat: I wouldn't do it if it wasn't televised.
Bobcat Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 60 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Set his furniture on fire?
Oh, no, don't set that on fire.
Paula: That bobcat has got serious mental problems.
Unknown: Paula, don't say 'balls.' Men find that off-putting.
Unknown: Don't say 'tip.'
They're whores. Whores. Whores.
Unknown Escalation Deadpan/Understatement Larry: if I wanted to see furniture destroyed or our set ablaze, I'd go over to Jimmy Caan's place
Larry Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: I get the spring right up my ass
Larry Physical/Slapstick Observational Larry: My ass is my fortune
Larry Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Hank: Hey, now.
Hank: It's the same as its always been.
Hank: No, no, I don't think so... hey, now!
Hank Bobby Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Regis: Look out! Who's that big stud in the mustache? Uh-oh! Hey! Uh-oh!
Regis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Hank: the wife's been on my ass a little bit about the snacks. I put the crackers out in the garage, and something got into that box and built a nest
Hank Observational Character Comedy Regis: I'm the luckiest man in show business, or, uh... everyone says so. I have to agree.
Regis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Hank: What would say? / I'd say that's great! That's great!
Hank: Well, who's the lucky cable channel?
Regis: No! No cable, no, no. Network.
Hank: Get outta here, Regis Philbin
Hank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Hank: Wow. Well, that is, uh... that is, um... that's an honor. I'm, um... I'm honored and I'm deeply... I'm honored.
Hank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hank: My wife Margaret. She gets mad when I'm... I'm late. She doesn't get mad, she gets, uh, upset... concerned!
Hank Character Comedy Escalation Hank: Call Margaret! Tell her I'm 2 to 4 minutes late!
Hank Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bobcat: I actually burned my ass. I got a couple welts on it from it.
Bobcat Physical/Slapstick Observational Bobcat: I don't want to toot my own horn, but I was pretty proud that I could actually get a couple jokes off while this was going on
Bobcat Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: I just love your clown movie. I'm just a sucker for drunk clowns.
Artie Observational Character Comedy Artie: don't get near my fucking plants. They're my babies.
Artie Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hank: Jesus Christ. Ho! ♪ it is Sidney, it is Sidney ♪
Hank Sid Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Hank: You are... you are my mother?
Sid: All right, I'm your mother.
Hank Sid Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Hank: Live with Hank and Kathie Lee
Hank Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Sid: Hank-eleh. Chach-keleh. This is not a smart move.
Sid Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sid: The last time I had lunch with my wife I ended up redoing the living room in a pattern that I'm not allowed to sit down on
Sid Observational Escalation ★ Rewatch Hank: Just a mild concussion. Don't worry yourself. Please?
Hank Deadpan/Understatement Visual Gag Paula: not enough oxygen to the brain as a fetus, that's my first guess.
Larry: That would be mine.
Larry: What happened?
Paula: He married her.
Hank: Well, I'd like to know what we're talking about before I do that.
Larry: Don't worry about it. Take a chair. Just a man-to-man chat.
Hank: You got some action, huh? You finally bagged that chick at NBC, right?
Hank Misdirection Character Comedy Larry: People always have told me everything all my life. I can't help that.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Larry: If I was pussy-whipped, you'd be talking to me the way I'm talking to you now.
Larry Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: She looks at you like she's got X-ray vision. Gives me the creeps.
Larry Observational Character Comedy Hank: that is a severe astigmatism, OK?
Hank Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: I can't allow her to lift her skirt for every other show that comes along!
Larry Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Hank Escalation Character Comedy Hank: You do not apply the term 'pussy whipped' to Hank Kingsley. No? No. He has never been, nor never will be whipped by anything let alone a pussy.
Hank Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Assistant: Margaret called. She says it's urgent.
Hank: See that? Yeah, I'm really pussy whipped. She call from home or the car?
Assistant: Home.
Hank: Yeah, like I give a shit.
Hank: Ask me about my lady again.
Hank Escalation Character Comedy Bobcat: Guy's a fucking wing nut.
Bobcat Reaction Beat Irony/Sarcasm Sid: where you locked her in the trunk of a Camaro, as she puts it, 'for laughs.'
Hank: No. What? Oh, no, no, no, no. That's Cathy Lee Crosby.
Sid Hank Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Hank: Oh! Oh, shit. Oh, shit! Shit!
Hank Escalation Reaction Beat Bobcat: I'm gonna have an ipecac in a coffee mug... that's the stuff that induces vomiting. So the first time I hear 'Cody,' I'm take a big fucking swig off it, and then boom! I'm just gonna projectile-vomit all over Kathie Lee.
Bobcat Absurdist Physical/Slapstick Paula: Your fly's open.
Larry: Thank you.
Paula: Don't mention it. Part of my job.
Larry: Looking at my crotch?
Paula: I consider it a perk.
Paula: Your fly's open.
Larry: Thank you.
Paula: Don't mention it. Part of my job.
Larry: Looking at my crotch?
Paula: I consider it a perk.
Hank Reaction Beat Character Comedy Larry: Well, good luck getting that plane. You know, there are not many that go to New York.
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Observational Artie: I raised it from a mere nut.
Larry: Oh, yeah? Those come from nuts, huh?
Artie: From a... a small nut.
Larry: Unlike your date palms. They come from dates.
Fall, '97.
What'd you say?
Fall, '97.
Hank: Does Joyce ever give you career advice?
Regis: No, no. Never.
Artie: Jesus Christ, Hank! Oh, my baby!
Artie Physical/Slapstick Escalation Callback Bobcat: Dance for us, monkey boy! Dance! Aah!
Bobcat Meta/Self-Referential Escalation ★ Rewatch Elderly stagehand: One minute I'm standing behind the curtain eating a mint, the next thing I know, I got a cardboard mountain up my ass.
Elderly stagehand: Eddie Cantor was funny. If I didn't have arthritis, I'd knock you right on your ass.
Elderly stagehand: Eddie Cantor was funny. If I didn't have arthritis, I'd knock you right on your ass.
Bobcat: I wouldn't do it if it wasn't televised.
Bobcat Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hank: I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm a fucking mess. My marriage... my marriage is, uh... my life... my life is a fuckin' mess...
Hank Character Comedy Escalation Larry: This is fine.
Hank: What do you mean it's fine? You mean I can stay?
Larry: Yeah.
Hank: Stay? Really?
Larry: Yeah. See you tomorrow?
Hank: See you tomorrow.
Artie: I called the fucker in your office here. And I told him he was pussy-whipped and he better get...
Larry: OK, fine, fine, fine. As long as you handled it.
Artie: I handled it.
Larry: I don't really need to know.
Artie: I called the fucker in your office here. And I told him he was pussy-whipped and he better get...
Larry: OK, fine, fine, fine. As long as you handled it.
Artie: I handled it.
Larry: I don't really need to know.
Artie Larry Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: But I'd tell Kathie Lee to stay about 10 feet back, OK? That's a little tip.
Larry Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
