During their trip to the Philadelphia Zoo, Mac sets up a text group chain for The Gang, but confusion sets in and The Gang must learn from the meerkats on how to communicate properly in a group.
WAR
35.6
Wins Above Replacement
“The Gang Texts” ranks #113 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.6 — Great. The episode packs 40 scored jokes at 1.4 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Mac landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dennis: Are you pissing on me?
Mac: Yeah.
Dennis Mac Running Gag Physical/Slapstick Callback Charlie: What about the needs of the group, Mac?
Mac: I'm gonna meet the needs of the group, Charlie, after that, but I just feel like... Are you... are you pissing on me?!
Charlie: Yeah.
Charlie Mac Callback Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Callback Dee: No, get away from me. / No. God, please help me!
Dee Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Zoo Employee: This is the-the petting zoo. We're feeding the goats. We're not slaughtering them.
Dennis: Oh, Frank is pissing on Mac. Very good.
Charlie: Yeah.
Frank: Yes, I am.
All Jokes — 40 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Dennis: Just a reminder that... - Damn it. Where is Frank? I'm not missing this lion feeding.
Charlie: Hey, man, you know, they have those bubbles, you know, where you can pop your head up out of the ground and look around.
Mac: Yeah, you're looking around. It's like you are a meerkat.
Dee: I got trampled by wild animals at the zoo when I was seven.
Dennis: Sheep. At the petting zoo.
Mac: Goats!
Charlie: Dennis has a boner? He does?
Mac: Yes.
Dennis: No, he doesn't.
Charlie: Well, goddamn it, he did.
Dennis: I did. It's gone now.
Dee: You... ditched me?
Dennis: Oh, shut up, Dee. Shut up! God, don't make this all about you.
Dennis: Frank! Text...
Charlie: Frank! What? Text us! Text us! Text us when Frank gets here! I can't... I can't... You know what? I can't... Let me just... I'm-a... Text 'em now. I'm gonna text y... Check your phone! I'm gonna text you!
Charlie: Yeah, but that's, like, a sexual thing, man. That means you're thirsting for something, which means you're horny for it.
Dennis: He's stuck behind a woman driver and he wants to shoot himself.
Dennis Observational Character Comedy Mac: Well, first of all, smarty-pants, they don't chirp. They chirrup.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation Charlie: You keep sending updates with no new information.
Mac: No, no, I'm just keeping the whole group updated the way a meerkat might.
Mac: Well, did you know that the alpha pair will scent-mark the subordinate to show that it's the leader? If they find the weak one, they start pissing all over it.
Mac Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Mac: I also drank a case of beer, and I didn't piss myself.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation Dennis: A peach is a butt. You're horny for a butt.
Mac: I'm-I'm horny for a butt?
Charlie: 'Cause you're gay.
Frank: Sorry I'm late. I had... had to get a bag of bananas so I could taunt the gorilla.
Frank Character Comedy Absurdist Dennis: You know, speed's very important in comedy texting, Dee. If it looks like you thought about it for a while, it's pretty lame.
Dennis Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Mac: So it's like he's thirsty for a fist in the butt.
Dennis: I don't think anybody's gonna get that.
Mac: You know? Plus, the moment is long gone.
Dee: It was a goat, and it was a lunatic. Its eyes were going in every direction.
Dennis: Oh, were they? Fascinating. Tell me more!
Dee: He pounced on me, and then all of his friends moved in for the kill.
Dennis: Ooh! Terrifying. Ooh!
Mac: that he's already given the information and he doesn't want to have to repeat himself.
Charlie: So you got to scroll up and see.
Mac: So, what... Scroll up.
Charlie: Scroll up.
Mac: Dennis hates to repeat himself.
Mac: No, it's all...
Charlie: Yeah, it's all caps.
Mac: It's all caps.
Charlie: Screaming?
Mac: Yeah. That's not good.
Charlie: That's...
Charlie: How about that with the eggplant?
Mac: Oh. Ooh. We're coming.
Dennis: All right, let's go.
Dee: All right, let's go.
Mac: Yeah. Oh, yeah. 'We're coming.' Charlie made it work.
Dennis: No, but nobody does it that way. The five minutes means 20 minutes, man. You can't... It's the whole reason I'm here!
Dennis Observational Character Comedy Mac: What rhymes with 'limber'? What rhymes with it?
Charlie: Hinder.
Mac: How do you not get 'timber'?
Charlie: Timber.
Charlie: 'K.' - You're dead to him.
Charlie: Yeah, he's blowing you off, man.
Mac: 'K' means 'okay.'
Charlie: He is pissed, dude.
Mac: 'K.'
Charlie: Yeah.
Charlie: He is...
Mac: 'K' means 'okay.'
Charlie: No.
Charlie: He didn't even bother to read your thing! He just sent 'K.'
Dee: I called him the 'F' word. It's a bundle of sticks.
Dee Dark/Subversive Wordplay/Pun Frank: Well, it works on two levels, Dee. It-it says that, uh, Frank's on fire and also that, uh, Mac is a raging flamer, which is still totally acceptable, for now.
Frank Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive Dee: I'm joking that maybe we should get the Jew lawyer and have an arbitration about what words we can and can't use to describe Mac's sexuality.
Dee Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Mac: It's a gay thing, so you really wouldn't understand. Yeah, you know, it's, like, bathrooms at zoos are, like, big Grindr spots for closeted dads.
Mac Character Comedy Absurdist Frank: I sit there, eat a banana real slow, and he comes up to the glass, and he's banging on the glass like the dumb ape he is. It will bang its hands bloody trying to get the banana.
Frank Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: What about the needs of the group, Mac?
Mac: I'm gonna meet the needs of the group, Charlie, after that, but I just feel like... Are you... are you pissing on me?!
Charlie: Yeah.
Charlie Mac Callback Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Callback Mac: A goat is to be sacrificed. I heard an employee in here. He was talking about it. Now, I offered to blow him, but he was like, 'Nah, I'm...' - Goat?
Dennis: Are you pissing on me?
Mac: Yeah.
Dennis Mac Running Gag Physical/Slapstick Callback Dennis: When is the goat going to be fed to the lion?
Zoo Employee: Uh, my friend engaged in a sexual exchange for information and was told there was going to be a sacrifice.
Mac: Well, he tried but I said no.
Dennis: When is the goat to be slaughtered?
Dennis: When is the goat going to be fed to the lion?
Mac: My friend engaged in a sexual exchange for information and was told there was going to be a sacrifice.
Zoo Employee: This is the-the petting zoo. We're feeding the goats. We're not slaughtering them.
Dee: No, get away from me. / No. God, please help me!
Dee Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Mac: I-I felt connected to you for the first time today.
Charlie: Yeah, see, that's what it's all about.
Charlie: You know what I mean?
I knew what you were saying by the looks on your faces. / that smile said a thousand words, you know? It was like, 'I told you so,' but also, 'I forgive you.'
Charlie Mac Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: Like, even though we were texting all day and we were in constant communication, I don't really think we were communicating at all.
Dennis Observational Meta/Self-Referential Dennis: Oh, Frank is pissing on Mac. Very good.
Charlie: Yeah.
Frank: Yes, I am.
Dee: Oh, he is!
Charlie: He is for real.
Mac: Nice one.
Dee: Yeah.
Frank: Yes, I am.
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