In the black-and-white noir world of his memory, Charlie navigates the seedy underbelly of Philadelphia as Frank has been "diarrhea poisoned," and it's up to Charlie to clean up the mess.
WAR
18.1
Wins Above Replacement
“The Janitor Always Mops Twice” ranks #172 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 67.4 — Mixed. The episode packs 43 scored jokes at 1.8 per minute, averaging 6.6 on craft and 6.2 on impact, with Charlie landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Charlie: Now I'm about to shit my brains all over this floor. But don't worry. I'll mop twice. I always do.
Charlie Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: The victim? A handicap stall. The murderer? A butt. But whose butt?
Charlie: So that's why that shot I took wasn't vodka. It was bleach. The universal poison antidote.
Charlie: You talking to me? Yeah. Well, I can't tell 'cause I'm not looking at you.
Mac: We ain't looking at you either.
Charlie: Her eyes glistened in the moonlight like fresh gasoline puddles.
All Jokes — 43 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Charlie: I suppose I should start at the end. My end, that is.
Charlie: That poor sap doing the two-step to nowhere is me.
Charlie Visual Gag Observational ★ Rewatch Charlie: The victim? A handicap stall. The murderer? A butt. But whose butt?
trouble walked in like it always does, on a great set of legs.
Charlie: Boy, has he got you trained. All that for a whistle? I wonder what you'd do for a biscuit.
Charlie Observational Character Comedy Charlie: Don't worry. In five minutes, he'll be up and chasing his tail again.
Charlie Callback Character Comedy Callback Charlie: You know, they say any port in a storm, and this port just... Ah, shit, it's you!
Dee: He's been diarrhea-poisoned.
Dee: He's absolutely carpet-bombed my bathroom. And my carpet.
Charlie: Huh. Lot of that going around.
Charlie Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist Dee: I'm a knockout blonde with a body that would make a statue blush.
Dee Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Charlie: I get more of a goon vibe from you.
Charlie: Make it stiff enough to stand on its head and sing 'Oh! Susanna'.
Dee Deadpan/Understatement Frank: The rat bastard liquefied my guts
Dee Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Charlie: You're giving off big goon vibes, Dee. Very goonish.
Charlie Running Gag Character Comedy Callback Charlie: Don't be a liar, Frankie-Boy, or your pants will catch on fire. Or they would, if you were wearing any pants.
Charlie Setup/Punchline Observational Charlie: I found enough beef to open a hamburger store.
Charlie: I'm a janitor. Cleaning up messes is what I do.
Charlie Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Charlie: Her eyes glistened in the moonlight like fresh gasoline puddles.
Charlie: They were the kind of eyes you could fall in... and summer in. And winter in, too.
Waitress: My boyfriend looks like a bad apple, but once you get to know Vince, you'd like him even less.
Waitress: You don't seem like the straightening type. Maybe 'cause you got me all twisted.
Mac: Yeah, there's no booze, no legal cooze. Sounds like a snooze. And there's barely any dudes.
Mac Wordplay/Pun Running Gag Charlie: Cricket? What are you doing here?
Cricket: Dee paid me to cover her shift, hence the getup.
Cricket: More. Oh, yes. Do it. Harder. Yes. I'm a slut.
Cricket Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Cricket: Frank hired me to go down to the local bars and stick my fingers in the garnish stations.
Cricket: When someone flashes a roll of nickels at you, you don't ask questions, you just do.
Waitress: Plus, I saw you put cat food in it.
Charlie: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.
Waitress: You did, Charlie, I saw you scoop it out of the can...
Charlie: Why are you smiling?
Dee: Well, I'm trying to look sexy.
Charlie: You're supposed to be dead.
Charlie: You're not supposed to be sexy. You're supposed to be the goon.
Dee: I'm not the goddamn goon.
Dennis: He gives us 30%, only Mac thinks it's ten.
Dennis Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Charlie: You talking to me? Yeah. Well, I can't tell 'cause I'm not looking at you.
Mac: We ain't looking at you either.
Mac: We ain't looking at you either.
Mac Absurdist Character Comedy Charlie: I'm no matador, Frank, so you can cut the bull.
Charlie Callback Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: Ammonia-bleach cocktail, aka the Janitor's Helper. Luckily, I'm immune. I've built up a healthy tolerance over the years, or unhealthy, depending on how you look at it.
Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Charlie: He's gonna wake up with his head pounding harder than a Chinese crossword puzzle. Huh? Was that... That one wasn't clear?
Charlie Absurdist Meta/Self-Referential Charlie: No, you put bleach on poison, it cancels it out, I'm pretty sure. No, it makes the poison more poisoning.
Charlie: So that's why that shot I took wasn't vodka. It was bleach. The universal poison antidote.
Dee: I was undercover the whole time.
Waitress: I mean, what are you talking about? That doesn't even make sense.
Charlie: Now I'm about to shit my brains all over this floor. But don't worry. I'll mop twice. I always do.
Charlie Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
