Frank's Pretty Woman

Mac:We're adopting a dog-fighting pit bull. We're gonna keep it in the bar, all right?

Dennis:Because last time we tried to get a junkyard dog, we wound up getting a junkyard cat

Mac:We don't want it to attack other dogs. Now we would like for it to attack people.

Charlie:You can go, like, 'Dude, I got bit a pit bull in a bar.' In Paddy's! It was awesome!

Mac:Just a dial tone now. She just hung up on me, for some reason.

Dennis:That woman seems like a prostitute.

Frank:That's because she is.

Frank:I'm gonna make that whore my wife.

Dennis:What the hell...?

Mac:I don't know.

Dee:Are they...?

Charlie:Oh, no!

Frank:That-that broad is a live wire.

Roxy:I'm goin' outside, 'cause this place is shit hole!

Roxy:What are you cocks lookin' at?

Frank:But she's still plowing other dudes. In fact, Tiger Woods has been calling her lately.

Dennis:Someone love Frank for who he is? Come on!

Charlie:The other day, we were hanging out under the bridge; we found box of denim, and I'm, like, 'You know, these look like good jeans in here,' and he's, like, 'You want to split it with me, 50-50?'

Dennis:Charlie! Stop wearing clothes you find washing up under bridges.

Charlie:Oh, they're boiled, yeah.

Frank:Yeah! We boil all our denim.

Dennis:Mac, you look bad. Really, really bad. You look fat as shit!

Mac:Mass. Fat. Muscle.

Dennis:Let's be clear: fat. It's fat.

Dennis:We're becoming the Gross Crew. The Gross Crew?! The Gross Crew.

Mac:I went from a tiny twink to the muscle-bound freak you see before you.

Dennis:You're not helping my argument.

Dennis:This is a chimichanga. You are becoming a chimichanga!

Roxy:Shut up, baby dick.

Dennis:No, you're already in your second act. We're all in our second acts-- don't you see that?

Dennis:your first act was-was shit, and that's why you're so desperate for things to be different. But they rarely ever do get different. If anything-- God, they get worse.

Dennis:He got salsa on his shirt.

Mac:What's that smell?

Dennis:Crack.

Mac:That is crack rock. She's smoking crack!

Dennis:the man is carrying around trash bags filled with Mexican foods. What's that smell?

Mac:Crack. That is crack rock.

Charlie:I signed you up on a dating Web site. I got you a date, dude! This girl does think she's meeting a millionaire.

Frank:Why'd you say that, Charlie?

Frank:A night with a limo driver? This is a good idea.

Charlie:Whoa! I burned myself on a rivet.

Dennis:I don't eat lunch anymore, for instance. Yeah, and on odd days, I don't eat breakfast.

Dennis:I call them hummingbirds. And although I seem relaxed, I'm actually incredibly tense at all times.

Dennis:And although I seem relaxed, I'm actually incredibly tense at all times.

Dennis:Stop cultivating and start harvesting.

Doctor:You have type 2 adult-onset diabetes.

Mac:Dude, stop saying 'diabetes!' You sound like an ass...

Mac:I'm not as strong as I thought, Dennis. I've hurt my back.

Roxy:and it's tighter than dick skin, man.

Roxy:Screw your dick skin jacket, man. How do you like me now, gay boy?

Dee:It's Tiger Woods? Your life is way more glamorous than what I was picturing.

Roxy:Now, help me dig these crack rocks out of my ass.

Frank:I feel like I'm a four year old going to my sister's wedding.

Charlie:Tarnation! You look as pretty as a peach.

Charlie:hustlin' and a-rasslin'. made a decent penny in boiled denims and, uh, the bridge business mostly.

Frank:I found a whole case of eggs under a bridge last week-- perfect condition. None of them missing. None of them cracked.

Frank:Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?

Charlie:I swallowed, like, a million blood caplets 'cause I was gonna cough, like, you know, a handful of blood to make it real.

Frank:And I love boiling denim and banging whores! And I don't care if anybody doesn't like that about me.

Dee:I know who you are. This guy's an actor. He definitely pretended to be Donovan McNabb one time when I tried out for the Eagles.

Fake Tiger Woods:I'm busted. I am an actor. My name is Don Cheadle.

Mac:Chimichanga, chimichanga, chimichanga, chimichanga, chimichanga.

Dennis:What I really want?

Mac:Crack.

Dennis:Oh. I thought you were gonna say pizza or buffalo wings or something.

Frank:I'm still gonna pay you, but I want you to stop banging other guys. What do you say? Want to be my wife or what?

Frank:The bitch is dead! How could she be dead? I'm telling you her heart popped.

Dee:Dead hooker in my apartment? That doesn't look good for me. I'm covered in blood.

We could just put her out in the hall. We call in an anonymous tip.

Dennis:I think Roxy would have wanted it that way.

Frank:Well, there you go.

Dennis:Frank would know.

Frank:Roxy, God bless you. You were a good whore. You serviced me like no other whore ever did. Not only my crank, but my heart.