Host Jesse Palmer walks the audience through Frank's journey up until his final rose ceremony in the "Golden Bachelor" finale. But whom will he pick: a young internet celebrity, a confident woman his age, or a familiar face?
WAR
70.5
Wins Above Replacement
“The Golden Bachelor Live” ranks #21 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 85.8 — Elite. The episode packs 60 scored jokes at 2.2 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Frank landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Frank: These people are maniacs. You don't understand. I was afraid they were gonna embarrass me on national television.
Frank Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sam: Of course I did. I had it pickled and put in a jar.
Sam Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Frank: Are all these whores gonna be this old?
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Our appearance may seem gruesome, but all can be quite easily explained... creating an unintentionally sinister tone.
Frank: Made 12 grand. It was incredible. Except for the chewing.
Frank Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 60 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Frank: Can't wait to find a Grade A, prime cut piece of Ass.
Frank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Jesse Palmer: To love. Frank, admittedly, was a little rougher around the edges than we're accustomed to.
Frank: All right, so where are all the broads?
Frank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Frank: I dropped a couple of blueys. This baby's got about a half hour to perform like, pew, and then that's it. So, let's hurry up.
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Frank: Oh, my God, I'm getting a chubby.
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Frank: Uh, nope.
Contestant: Excuse me?
Frank: No. No. Nope. Pass, pass, pass, it's a pass.
Frank: Are all these whores gonna be this old?
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Frank: I mean, you could hear their pussy crackling.
Frank Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Frank: It was like, just, old meat.
Frank Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Frank: Well, I knew there would be a couple of duds, but I thought you Hollywood people were all about diversity.
Frank Irony/Sarcasm Misdirection ★ Rewatch Frank: You ever hear of Cock Chewa?
Frank Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Her catchphrase was, 'Chew on that thang.'
Frank Absurdist Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Cock Chewa: Hey, y'all! Chew on that thang.
Frank: She's it. She's the one... I choose her... Yeah, the game's over.
Frank Absurdist Meta/Self-Referential Cock Chewa: I get paid for this, right?
Cock Chewa Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Frank: Oops, I thought you said we were done with the old ones.
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Sam: I got better looking boils.
Sam Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Frank: Oh. Oh. What's this? I thought I said no dudes.
Frank Misdirection Character Comedy Frank, what are you doing? You can't bring your own plugs.
Producer Cringe/Discomfort Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Frank: One's an on-ramp, one's an off-ramp. I'm leaning toward the 20-year-old.
Frank Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Chewa: Gang, gang. Chew, chew. That's a butthole.
Cock Chewa Absurdist Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Frank: I guess people pay her to respond to emojis?
Frank Observational Cringe/Discomfort Frank: Look, if we don't bang soon, I'm gonna boot you off the show.
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Frank: Made 12 grand. It was incredible. Except for the chewing.
Frank Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Frank: I had to dump out big time.
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Oh, well, that makes two of us. Just got here myself.
Sam Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Frank: I would say we bang at my place, but I don't want you hanging around after.
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Frank Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sam: Personally, I think he was smuggling drugs down from Canada, got chainsawed by some cartel.
Sam Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Frank: Did you keep the dong?
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sam: Of course I did. I had it pickled and put in a jar.
Sam Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Sam: That's what I would have wanted.
Frank: Hmm. - Wow. Beautiful.
Frank Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Frank: Which is probably better because my cock was chewed to shit.
Frank Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback He had hired actors to play them.
Host Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Frank: These people are maniacs. You don't understand. I was afraid they were gonna embarrass me on national television.
Frank Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: Okay, listen, bitch. You are not getting the money.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Dee: we will snuff that thing out like a cigarillo.
Dee Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: Please. I think we all know Disney's never gonna air this.
Charlie Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Sam: I got chicken money and plenty of it too.
Sam Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Charlie: Did you see that? I didn't have to say it. She walked right into it. Dee's a bird.
Charlie Running Gag Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Callback Cock Chewa: Oh, I love the gays. I'll chew on that thang.
Cock Chewa Running Gag Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Mac: But our living arrangement is perfectly age appropriate.
Dennis: But he is gay.
Mac: Well, he is gay.
Dennis: Well... Goddamn it.
Mac Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Cock Chewa: I'ma barf on it.
Mac: What?
Dennis: What? That's not your line.
Mrs. Kelly: To be a slut and to marry Frank.
Mrs. Kelly Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Frank: Do I go Chewy first and work my way to Bonnie through Sam? Or do I run the risk of being gnawed to a stump and have to heal?
Frank Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Sam: I took a whole destroyer full of torpedoes, you know?
Sam Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sam: I shortened my name to Sam and I told everybody, 'Ooh, I-I really liked that so much better,' but I didn't.
Sam Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Sam: So I changed my name, Frank, because I thought nobody would care enough to take the time to say the whole thing.
Sam Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Charlie: The prank is this, when they fly us out there, we set off one of those elephant toothpaste bombs in the mansion.
Charlie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Our appearance may seem gruesome, but all can be quite easily explained... creating an unintentionally sinister tone.
Dee: It was my jealousy of these women that drove me to surreptitiously add 20 gallons of Nair hair removal into the concoction.
Dee Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: ♪ You wear short shorts If you dare wear short shorts Nair for... ♪
Host: You actually thought that the woman's birth name was Cock Chewa?
Host Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Frank: Well, Bonnie, you are a dirty, dirty slut.
Bonnie: Thank you, Frank.
Frank: Chewy, I gotta be honest, I don't like the teeth. I never understood the chewing thing.
Frank Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Frank: You go deep, deep, deep. The bottom? Oh. I may never recover from that.
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Frank: I got rid of you because I like you too much and it scared the shit out of me.
Frank Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Frank: I got rid of you because I like you too much and it scared the shit out of me.
Frank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Mrs. Kelly: Be strong for your little gingerbread man.
Mac: Why are you doing everything in threes?
Charlie: So Charlie doesn't die.
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