The Foundation

George:It's like a golf course. You know, without the golfers. Just beautiful greens, and the way they maintain it... I was thinking, this is what golf courses should look like.

George:I'm sorry for your loss. It's the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.

Jerry:George, that's beautiful.

George:Yeah, well... I didn't know what to say. I was panicking.

Jerry:No, it was perfect. Where'd you come up with that?

George:I saw it in a movie. Alien. When Ripley's talking to the android.

George:You know, I was watching that episode of Star Trek where Spock dies. And I'm thinking, this is supposed to be this big, meaningful moment. But really, what is it? It's just a guy lying there, not moving. That's it. That's death. We've made it into this whole thing, but it's really just... nothing happening.

George:I've done my mourning. I've cried, I've suffered. Now it's time to move on.

George:Besides, summer mourning is much harder than winter mourning. In the winter, you're already depressed anyway.

Kramer:You see, the key to karate is not the hands or the feet... it's the mind.

Kramer:The body is merely a vessel for the warrior spirit within.

Jerry:Okay, sensei.

Kramer:This is the eye of the tiger. This is the heart of the lion. And this... this is the butt of the jackass.

Jerry:She's been gone six weeks.

Kramer:Six weeks? No, no, she was just here.

Jerry:Kramer, she left six weeks ago.

Kramer:No, that was... that was recent. That was recent.

Jerry:You gotta go.

Kramer:What? Why?

Jerry:Because I said so. Out!

Jerry:*makes exaggerated karate pointing gestures* Hiii-YAH!

Elaine:I got so many ideas in Mexico!

Jerry:You could've gotten the same ideas from snacks and old movies.

Jerry:We both said 'I hate you' at the same time. It was like we were synchronized swimmers of animosity.

Jerry:I'm telling you, this is the worst breakup in human history. No one has ever suffered like this before. I'm pretty sure they're going to have to rewrite the history books. 'Chapter 12: The Breakup of Jerry and Her — A Dark Time For Mankind.'

Elaine:You never feel bad about anything.

Jerry:That's not true. I feel bad.

Elaine:About what?

Jerry:About not feeling bad.

Elaine:It's a sombrero, but it's urban. It's like a regular sombrero, but it's got this sleek, metropolitan look to it. We could call it the 'urban sombrero.'

Peterman:I've discovered true autonomy. The ability to eat cheese like fruit—that's ultimate freedom.

Jerry:Oh my god, Dolores!

Dolores:Jerry! So good to see you!

Jerry:Yeah, you too. It's been a while.

George:Who is that?

Jerry:That's Dolores.

George:Dolores? Wait... isn't that...

Jerry:Mulva.

George:I'm engaged. Engagement, it's a very big thing.

Jerry:What do you mean?

George:I'm committed. I'm a committed man.

Jerry:To Susan?

George:To the idea of being engaged. The concept of engagement appeals to me.

Jerry:But not Susan.

George:Well, Susan too. But mainly the engagement thing.

Jerry:So what's the appeal? The sex?

George:No, no. The commitment. I like knowing that I'm committed to something. It makes me feel like an adult.

George:You know, I realized something. Women don't want a man who's trying too hard. They want a man who doesn't care. So I stopped caring. And now they love me.

George:It's like I have this... this aura of indifference. And responsibility? Responsibility is like a stink. Once you have it, you can't get rid of it.

Peterman:I'm creatively bankrupt. My reservoir of ideas has run dry. I'm like a well that's been drained of all its water — except the water was ideas, and the well was my brain.

Peterman:I'm in Burma.

Peterman:Yes, I know it's now Myanmar, but I don't care.

Peterman:Yes, yes, I understand. We'll need those fabrics by Thursday... You there, with the cart! Move it along!

Peterman:No, not you. Continue. Where was I? Right, the shipment...

Elaine:Wait, Burma? I thought it was called Myanmar now.

Jerry:Yes, they changed the name.

Elaine:Well, that's just confusing. How is anyone supposed to know where anything is anymore?

Jerry:Elaine, it's the same country, they just renamed it.

Elaine:That's exactly my point! This is a huge problem. Do you know how many people are going to show up at the old Burma and it won't be there anymore?

Jerry:So Kramer, I heard you're going to Myanmar.

Kramer:Yeah, I'm thinking about it.

Jerry:Myanmar? That's a country.

Kramer:Oh, I thought you said Rite Aid.

Kramer:I'm telling you, Jerry, this sensei, he's like a Jedi master. He says to me, 'Kramer, you must find your inner strength.' So I'm standing there in my gi, and he's going on about chakras and energy flow. I say, 'Sensei, I don't have any inner strength. I have inner weakness.' He looks at me like I just kicked him in the face. Which, by the way, I did. Accidentally.

Kramer:But then I realized something. My inner strength? It's gotta be like the Enterprise. You gotta engage the warp drive. Full impulse power.

Kramer:You see, the katra is like your inner spirit, your essence. It's what makes you... you.

Kramer:Like, take someone like Marlon Brando. That guy had a powerful katra. You could feel it.

Elaine:I could run this company. It's not that hard. You just tell people what they want to hear, make them feel good about themselves, and they'll buy anything.

Mr. Peterman:That's... actually exactly what we do.

Jerry:Wait, you're in the same class as a nine-year-old?

Kramer:Yeah, so?

Jerry:So? Kramer, you're sitting in a classroom with a nine-year-old!

Jerry:I have an age advantage over a 9-year-old. I could take him. But why would I want to? What would I prove? That I can beat up a kid? I'm not interested in that kind of competition. Although, I gotta say, it would be easier.

Elaine:Alright listen up everyone, I'm in charge now and things are going to change around here.

Elaine:From now on, I want everyone here by 7 AM sharp. And I want the coffee maker cleaned every hour on the hour.

Elaine:Also, no talking. At all. Just work in complete silence.

Elaine:Oh, and one more thing — everyone has to wear the same color shirt. I'm thinking... chartreuse.

George:Yeah, that's awful. But you know what's worse? When you outlive your parents and they don't leave you any money.

Mr. Ross:Jerry told us something that really stuck with us.

Mrs. Ross:Yes, it was so inspiring.

Mr. Ross:He said... 'To boldly go where no one has gone before.'

Mrs. Ross:That's not what he said.

Mr. Ross:He said something like that.

Mrs. Ross:He said, 'These pretzels are making me thirsty.'

George:This is all because of that stupid movie quote. If I hadn't said 'Make it so,' I wouldn't be in this mess right now.

George:This is paradise. No shirt, no shoes, no service? I don't care. I'm eating cheese.

George:I'm like a guy in The Godfather who tried to get out but they keep pulling me back in!

George Costanza:The Rosses have some monies.

Wyck:Monies? It's 'money.' You don't say 'monies.'

Wyck:I know how you feel. I lost something too.

George:Yeah? Well, I lost my dignity. And my self-respect. And my ability to look people in the eye.

George:It was mutual. We both agreed to break up.

Mulva:Mutual? You called me up and said you never wanted to see me again!

George:Well, you didn't object.

Mulva:Because I couldn't get a word in!

Elaine:You're the doofus!

Elaine:This is all because of your Star Trek wisdom!

Kramer:It was Star Trek: First Contact, not The Next Generation.

Elaine:Oh my God, Kramer!

Kramer:So I'm watching this Star Trek movie, right? And I'm thinking, this is pretty good stuff.

Elaine:Kramer, nobody cares about your Star Trek review.

Kramer:Who are all these kids?

Joey:Surprise! It's a child ambush!

Kramer:A what?

Joey:We planned the whole thing. Your mother was in on it the whole time.

Kramer:Giddy up!

Jerry:It's not a big deal. It's just a catalogue cover. People see it for two seconds and then they throw it away.

George:What is this? What am I looking at?

Kramer:Well, congratulations. You've really done it this time.

Jerry:Wait, what? A widower? George, you're not a widower.

George:Well, technically...

Jerry:Oh my God. Oh my God!

Jerry:So you're saying that when a woman's boyfriend dies, that's actually a good time to approach her?

George:It's a window of opportunity. She's vulnerable, she's lonely...

Jerry:You've really thought this through, haven't you?

George:I'm just saying, statistically speaking, more women are single after their boyfriends die.

Jerry:So what you're telling me is you've been studying the mortality rate of men whose girlfriends you want to date?

Jerry:George, I got some really good news for you.

George:What?

Jerry:I just found out they're having a sale on aged cheddar down at the market.

George:Aged cheddar? How aged are we talking?

Jerry:Five years. Maybe more.

George:I'm gone.

George:We have to go through all of Susan's things. Every single doll.

Jerry:How many dolls are we talking about?

George:Hundreds. Thousands maybe. I don't know, it's going to take forever.

George Costanza:She just walked up to me and said 'You're fired.' Just like that. No warning, no nothing. All because of that stupid sombrero I wore to the office.

George Costanza:I mean, what's the big deal? It's a hat. A festive hat. But apparently Mr. Pitt thought it was 'unprofessional.' So he tells my boss, my boss tells me to take it off, I refuse on principle, and boom - I'm out.

Jerry:I'm a grown man, and my entire life has been destroyed by a hat. A hat! Do you know how pathetic that is? I wore it once, and now I'm persona non grata at every social gathering in Manhattan. My reputation is in ruins because of felt and a brim.

Wyck · George:Wyck asks 'So who broke it off?' — trying to determine if the breakup was mutual, implying it matters for assessing George's character

Wyck · George:Wyck: 'When I heard you got engaged I thought maybe you'd matured, but obviously there's no growth here.'

Elaine · Jerry:Elaine calls Jerry from work, very pleased with herself: 'Guess who just finished laying out her first issue of the J. Peterman Catalogue?' / 'How does it look?' / 'It's a peach.'

Jerry:Jerry on the mutual breakup: 'It's weak. No one's gonna buy it, and you shouldn't be selling it.'

Elaine · Jerry:Elaine confronts Kramer: 'Between you and me, I always thought Kramer was a bit of a doofus. But he believed in me. You did not. So as I see it, he's not the doofus. You are the doofus.'

Jerry · Elaine:Jerry realizes Kramer is at karate right now and suggests Elaine go thank him in person — both knowing what she'll find

Elaine · Kramer:Elaine finds Kramer at the dojo: 'What are you doing?' / 'Well, I'm—I'm dominating.'

Elaine · Kramer:Elaine: 'This is what you used to build me up? This is where you got all that stupid katra stuff?' / Kramer: 'No, no, no, that's from Star Trek III. The Search for Spock.'

Kramer · Elaine:'Jerry will tell you that Wrath of Khan is the better picture, but for me, I—' / 'You doofus.'

George:George conducts focus group research at the coffee shop, asking strangers: 'What if I told you my fiancée left me for another man? Does that make me more likable, less likable, as likable?'

Timmy · Kramer:'I thought you said your mom was meeting us in the alley.' — a child to Kramer's opponent after the karate class

Kramer:Kramer orchestrates an ambush of children in the alley: 'Now we finish it.' / 'Get him.' / 'Mama!'

Jerry:Jerry's phone call to his parents is entirely dedicated to telling them the engagement is off — he has to ask them to 'tell Mom'

Jerry · Elaine:Post-dojo check-in: 'Did you stop by the dojo?' / 'Yup.' / 'How's your confidence level?' / 'Shot.' / 'Self-esteem?' / 'Gone.' / 'Doofus?'

Jerry · Elaine · Kramer:The reveal of the J. Peterman Catalogue cover: the urban sombrero

Jerry:Jerry: 'Well, nobody sees the cover.' — said immediately before/after seeing the urban sombrero is the cover

Kramer:Kramer describes being beaten by children: 'You should have seen the rage in their little eyes. And those tiny little fists of fury.'

Elaine · Kramer:Elaine blames Kramer for telling her she could run the company; Kramer admits 'Well, then I was way off.'

Jerry · Kramer:Jerry suggests George go help at the foundation: 'He's a widower.' — and George's face/reaction

George · Wyck:The ongoing 'And now? Not.' litany continues with the beach house (48 acres, Southampton) — 'that should fetch a fair price.' / 'Would I have had access to that?' / 'Of course. Would have been yours.' / 'And now?' / 'Not.'

Kramer · George:Kramer calls George at the foundation to report: 'Your widower story has tested through the roof.'

George:George can't leave the foundation meeting because there are 'two really cute girls sitting at the counter eating grilled cheese'

Wyck · George:Wyck announces they will go through Susan's doll collection 'doll by doll' — estimated at $2.6 million — as George is trapped

Jerry · Man 1:Stand-up tag: Men napping at work for 24 years until wives gave them urban sombreros; woke up to find walking papers 'tacked to the brim.' 'Stupid J. Pendleton.'

Man 2:'I never thought a hat would destroy my life.'