Matthew 'Rickety Cricket' Mara

Cricket:I was the only other person in physical therapy with you

Mac · Cricket:Hey, you still get balls-to-the-chin cracks? / No. Actually, that was a long time ago.

Cricket:You do realize you're leading me on right now? I'm a priest.

Cricket · Dee:Ever since you convinced me to abandon the church... my life has been in a bit of a tailspin. That doesn't ring a bell.

Cricket:Look at this place. It's exactly as I imagined it would be. Hey, is there a dream catcher above your bed?

Charlie · Mac · Cricket:I can get a horse. You're not gonna get a horse, Charlie. We can have some coke then. She likes Swiss! I knew it! I pictured Swiss.

Cricket:I'm writing a musical. It's about life on the streets. Archangel has to live on the streets and fight crime.

Dee · Charlie · Cricket:You 'sold' our drug money on two garbage cans? These are trash cans, Cricket! These are trash cans? Then why do they sound like this?

Cricket:I did it! And I made It so sexy! Look at this. I've achieved total sexiness! I am the man! I made it so sexy.

Cricket:They broke my legs but they didn't break my spirit / But I don't feel no pain 'cause I found more cocaine

Cricket:They broke my legs but they didn't break my spirit. But I don't feel no pain 'cause I found more cocaine. Cocaine

Dennis · Cricket:Rickety Cricket. I suppose you're here to win the bar because we ruined your life.

Cricket:The latest leg brace technology courtesy of the great state of Pennsylvania.

Cricket · DJ:My legs! The technology failed me! He's fallen and he can't get up!

Cricket:And I will stalk the streets and live in the shadows of the night until the streets of Philadelphia run red with their blood!

Frank · Cricket:We're making brownies. The drug filled kind. Shut up, Cricket!

Cricket:Don't eat it, Dee! It's filled with cough medicine. I love you!

Dee · Cricket:I have a shattered kneecap! Dee, we can start again. Right? Never talk to me again, you goddamn street rat!

Cricket:You're gonna harvest my organs, aren't you?... You're gonna rope me and you're gonna harvest my organs.

Cricket · Mac:Why?... Uh.. I'll spend a lot less time asking questions, more time running.

Cricket · Dennis:Tag! You're it!... Tag, you're it? And a knife? What the hell is this, man?

Cricket:This appears to be a rendering of... the two of you sodomizing the king whilst the queen is forced to witness.

Cricket:you are both slanderous perverts lacking any semblance of moral fortitude. However, I do desire to seek further counsel with the lady.

Cricket:A simple "no" would have sufficed.

Cricket:No, I'm unscathed, my darling. This is the blood of my men. We've suffered too many casualties. All our guns jammed.

Cricket:I don't give a shit about the troops.

Cricket:America sucks! The terrorists rule. Ah la la la!

Cricket:I must had an itch.

Cricket:It's from when Frank hit me with the trash can. Wound got infected. It was a whole ordeal.

Cricket:I wake up, I find a dog sniffin' at my wound. He's fully aroused, mind you.

Cricket:Does my scar look like a dog's vagina?

Cricket:Not since that Chinaman stole my kidney.

Cricket:Couldn't find soup, but I found some dirty dishwater.

Charlie · Cricket:We don't want them thinking it's an interrogation. Oh! Hey! Party! Party! All right! Hey!

Frank · Dee · Charlie · Cricket:It's Cricket! / Cricket. / Oh, what are you doing down here, Cricket? / I come down the bunker sometimes when it rains.

Cricket:No, I ain't going to no hospital. They euthanize the homeless. They're goddamned death camps!

Cricket:You're marching me to the ovens.

Cricket:You're gonna treat me like a dog, huh? You're gonna treat Cricket like a dog?

Cricket:I went to go find my name tag-- they didn't even have one. It's like-- it's like what, I never existed?

Cricket · Mac:Well, actually it's Father Mara again. Is it? I cleaned up, yes, and I was welcomed back into the cloth.

Cricket:It's her fault. She told me she loved me. We were supposed to be together forever.

Cricket · Dee:Cricket's revelation about stealing jewelry and being covered in ringworm after Dee told him she loved him

Cricket:Yeah, I got into a skirmish with a stray chocolate lab. I won't go into details, but suffice to say, that dog is very paralyzed now.

Cricket:Yeah, but I'm kind of a dog executioner, so, uh, looks like old Cricket got the last laugh.

Cricket · Mac:Well, uh, no. You know, yeah, mostly just, you know, cleaning up the poops, you know, washing out their cages, that kind of thing. Ah. Sounds like you're a dog janitor then.

Cricket:I see an opportunity. Make three bucks. Ba-da-boom!

Cricket:Pick me? What? Put me down! Pick me! I deserve it.

Cricket:Hey, turkeys, gobble, gobble.

Cricket:I was a priest before I got involved with you guys.

Cricket:What, I can't have squash? I can't have blow?

Cricket · Mac · Dennis:This happened to me when I was locked in your burning apartment at Thanksgiving. - No, you weren't there for that... - I don't think you were there, man.

Cricket:I don't need to suck him or anything or... let him inside me?

Cricket:if he wants up inside me, it will cost you a whole sixer, I mean, that... I got my dignity.

Pete · Cricket:Is that a glory hole? - Yes. It is, my son. But it'll cost you a whole sixer if you want to unburden yourself in that way.

Mac · Cricket · Dennis:he used to, um, scream in baby's faces. - Well, that's just funny. That was just plain funny... - Okay, no, you know what he used to do? He used to gather, like, cats and dogs... and then put them into like a little room and, like, have 'em battle it out. - That's just cats' and dogs' nature, to fight, so I don't see a problem with that.

Mac · Cricket · Charlie:All right, um... he used to, um, scream in baby's faces. - Well, that's just funny. That was just plain funny. - I know, I know, I know. - They'd be all freaked out...

Mac · Cricket:also, he murdered and ate his family. - Right. - What? - Jesus Christ! That guy's a goddamn maniac! I'm not absolving him!

Cricket:there's a storm brewing on the inside... He's straight-up possessed by the devil... He used to be fun crazy... then the devil was like, 'I like this dude! I'm gonna get involved!'

Mac · Cricket:Get the demon, the goblin, the ghoul and then you got Pete. - Well, no, no, no, no. There's no goblins, there's no ghouls, it's just demons, okay? - Well, they're all made up, so...

Cricket · Mac:Unless you have crack. If you have crack, let's boogie. - No one is going into your asshole. - I wouldn't let them without the crack.

Cricket:Cricket demanding his five bucks from Charlie for dancing like a monkey

Cricket:You want to hear about a... dog orgy or when a cat bit off my toe?

Cricket:I call this one 'Dog Three-Way.' 'Cause I was recently in a dog three-way. Actually, four with me, so, four-way. I was in a dog orgy.

Cricket:Hey-o! You guys mind if I shower in that leaky urinal again?

Cricket:This is, uh... They took out the kidney, actually, from the fron... A Chinaman. And he did not know how to do it, I'll tell you that much.

Cricket · Charlie · Frank · Mac:Hey, you guys mind if I go in the bathroom and smoke some PCP? - No, dude, you do you! - Go for it. You do you! - You do you! - You do you! We don't judge, Cricket, we don't judge.

Cricket · Vendor:You're nothing but a street rat! / I may be a street rat, but I still got your bread, bitch.

Cricket:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the suck boy you're looking for. You want my time, you got to pay to spray. That's my motto. That and you cannot finish inside me.

Cricket · Cricket's Dad:You're dying. / What? / I figured. You look like hell. Hey, has anyone claimed your organs?

Cricket:It's a seller's market right now.

Cricket:Do I look like a dusthead to you?

Cricket:In fact, I'm the type of gal who makes men's lives better. Hey-o! You guys mind if I shower in that leaky urinal again?

Cricket:Well, that... don't count that. That's not a good example.

Cricket:Eh. While I'm here, I might as well... do a little P to the C to the P.

Cricket · Cricket's Dad:This is nice. I'm gonna sleep well tonight. / No, no. You're not gonna sleep there.

Cricket:Eh, too exposed. / No. I-I'll sleep in, uh, maybe the crawlspace or a cupboard.

Cricket · Davy:When did I ever burn Dad? / You stole his identity. Eight times!

Cricket · Davy:Well, at least I didn't wet the bed till I was in high school. / Shut your mouth about that. / Whatever, Davy Diapers.

Cricket · Belle:He's the one who stinks, by the way. His shoes smell like rotten eggs. / You smell his shoes?

Cricket:Yeah. He kicks at me if he catches me sleeping at work.

Cricket · Belle:Hey, date! / Um, I'm sorry. What? / Shit. Sorry. Um, haven't done this in a long time.

Cricket · Mac · Charlie:Damn it! How the hell did you guys find me? / A magician never reveals his tricks, Cricks. / Yeah. We did put that pet-tracking device in him.

Cricket:Wait. You did what? Wait. Did you put a chip in...? Did you put a chip in me?!

Cricket · Cricket's Dad:Are we ready to party tonight? / So am I!

Cricket · Frank:No, you're not paying me in lemons again. / You want to get paid in PCP, Cricket?

Cricket:My name is not Cricket, okay? My name is Matthew Mara. I'm a person. A person, by the way, who has a job now.

Cricket · Mac · Charlie:You guys are the worst. / He wants the lemons. / He needs the lemons for the scurvy.

Cricket:And by the way, my name is not Cricket, okay? My name is Matthew Mara. I'm a person. A person, by the way, who has a job now.

Cricket:Look, I am not funny, and I'm sure as shit not cute.

Belle · Cricket:Are you thinking what I'm thinking? / Go behind some Dumpster and bang? / I was kind of talking about that date.

Cricket:I met the most amazing girl. I'm in love. I'm in love!

Davy · Cricket:Carl Lewis couldn't catch him! / I can.

Mr. Sanderson · Cricket:Did you just do a flip off that truck? / Yes, sir. That is how dedicated I am to keeping your business.

Cricket · Mr. Sanderson:Okay. Well, guess I'm gonna have to cut your heart out then. / What did you just say? / I said I guess I'm gonna have to cut... your heart... out of your body.

Cricket:You see, uh, I'm from the streets. And I'm about to poke you full of holes.

Cricket:I said I guess I'm gonna have to cut... your heart... out of your body.

Cricket:You see, uh, I'm from the streets. And I'm about to poke you full of holes.

Davy · Cricket:Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what are you doing?! / I'm making out with the woman I love. / That's Dad's dog. You're making out with my dog!

Cricket:Dog? Oh, shit! Oh, no. Maybe it's time to make a change.

Cricket:Nah, I'm gonna smoke it.

Cricket:Maybe it's time to make a change. / Nah, I'm gonna smoke it.

Cricket's Dad · Cricket · Gang:You got to put all that nonsense behind you once and for all. / Hey-o! / Oh, Cricket! / Hey, you guys mind if I go in the bathroom and smoke some PCP?

Dee · Cricket:Your nose is bleeding as we speak. / Okay, I came up portside on a horse, and he was a little quicker than me... that's lesson learned.

Dee · Cricket:Rex represents the best that Philadelphia has to offer. / Either way, Cricks, you're out.

Cricket:All right, fine, it's me. Cricket. / Cricket. / Yes, it's me, it's me. I snuck on, all right? This damn nose.

Cricket:Perfect timing, man. I need to get this out to Brady. Brady's ready to go out. He's really wiping that sweat off with that towel. I mean, he's really going at it.

Cricket · Dennis:Lady, I'm not going anywhere until I see an Abraham Lincoln. Here you go. What is this? Like, 73 cents. No. I-I said Abraham Lincoln. Those are pennies.

Cricket:No, no, no, no. Lady, I'm not going anywhere until I see an Abraham Lincoln.

Dennis · Cricket:Like, 73 cents. No. I-I said Abraham Lincoln. There's a bunch of Lincolns in there. Those are pennies.

Charlie · Cricket:Cricket? What are you doing here? Dee paid me to cover her shift, hence the getup.

Cricket:More. Oh, yes. Do it. Harder. Yes. I'm a slut.

Cricket:Frank hired me to go down to the local bars and stick my fingers in the garnish stations.

Cricket:When someone flashes a roll of nickels at you, you don't ask questions, you just do.

Gang · Cricket:"Cricket! Where did you come from?" "I was up on the roof getting eggs from a nest."

Cricket:"I've fallen off buildings before; I never die. And look at me. I'm doing great."

Cricket:"I'll push him. I don't give a shit."

Cricket · Mac:What is your deal, man? One second you need me, the next I'm a pile of garbage? / Cricket, beat it, man... You better beat it, or I'm gonna beat you with my shoe.

Cricket:Vos omnes maledicti mille annis.

Cricket · Mac · Mac:There's only four in here. / I drank two of 'em, of course. / If I'm being honest, I drank four. Two of those are piss.

Cricket · Cricket · Mac · Cricket:Something wrong with your dick? / If it's your dick, though, I got to charge you for it. / I'm not whipping anything out! / There's a tiered system...

Kid · Cricket · Mac · Cricket:I can be whatever you want me to be, champ. / Oh, he can. / Would you make it... Do a, do a turn. Do a spin. / There you go. Make it sexy. Let's go.

Cricket:What's good, baby? What's poppin'?

Cricket:'If this got something to do with that john who got his dick bit off, I don't know shit, all right?'