Dee Made a Smut Film

Dee:Hey, guys. Here we go. - I'm ordering it.

Mac:Drop the bluff, Dee. No one believes you're in an actual movie.

Charlie:'Hella.' Are we saying 'hella' now? 'Cause I like it.

Dennis:No, we're not saying 'hella,' okay? No. Nobody's saying 'hella' anymore.

Mac:I never really got to say it. 'Hella' came and went.

Charlie:Me, neither.

Mac:No, we're not saying 'hella,' okay? No. Nobody's saying 'hella' anymore.

Charlie:I never really got to say it. 'Hella' came and went.

Mac:Me, neither.

Dennis:Yeah, Dee, I got to hand it to you. Y-You've been talking about doing this for years, and... Is that Richard Grieco?

Mac:So, Dee, you clearly made a porn. This is a porno!

Dee:What? No? It's not a porn. You guys, the-the foreigners, they have a much more evolved view of sex. This is... this is art.

Dennis:Where's he from?

Dee:Puerto Rico.

Dennis:Oh!

Mac:Puerto Rico?

Dennis:Puerto Rico?

Dee:Puerto Rico!

Mac:Oh, man.

Dennis:Dee, you made a Skinemax flick with a Puerto Rican pervert.

Mac:Dee, you made a Skinemax flick with a Puerto Rican pervert.

Dee:Listen, hey, I did not make a smut film.

Dee:Gobble that cock.

Mac:You're not an artist, dude. You're drawing with chalk.

Charlie:No, I'm drawing with marker and, like, pen and stuff. I'm just eating the chalk.

Dennis:Charlie, don't eat chalk.

Charlie:Well, it settles my stomach. My stomach's a little...

Dennis:If your stomach hurts, eat a Tums.

Charlie:What's the difference?

Dennis:One is chalk!

Charlie:Well, I don't like wasting Tums. Tums is very good to draw with.

Charlie:Well, I don't like wasting Tums. Tums is very good to draw with.

Mac:What do you think Grieco would do?

Dennis:He wouldn't eat chalk.

Mac:She's going for it. She loves it. She loves it. She's going for it.

Dennis:Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell are you doing?

Mac:Whoa. Hey, lady. Lady. You can't throw art in the trash.

Gallery Owner:His work provokes. It raises questions. Are we children? Are we animals? Are children animals?

Charlie:Oh, my life's pretty sweet, bro. Hang out at a bar all day with my bros. You know? Go on lots of adventures. I'm really kind of a sweet businessman when I think about it.

Dennis:He's an illiterate janitor whose mother tried to abort him...

Charlie:I've got one of those hella sweet lives...

Mac:Stop saying 'hella'!

Dennis:He doesn't... he doesn't normally say 'hella.'

Mac:I don't know where he picked this up.

Charlie:I've got one of those hella sweet lives...

Mac:Stop saying 'hella'!

Mac:He doesn't... he doesn't normally say 'hella.'

Dennis:A woman's mouth is not for the exiting of words but for the entrance of a man's... dick.

Dennis:'And then he did put it in there. In her mouth, I mean.' And then they-they have sex all over the library.

Dennis:Look... this is my Fifty Shades of Grey, lady. All right? Was the guy who wrote that gross?

Producer:It was written by a woman.

Dennis:Na... You... no, I know. That it was written by a woman. Everybody knows that.

Dennis:This was also written by a woman. Yeah. Writ-Written and to be directed by... my sister.

Dee:Using a multi-tiered distribu... Multi-level marketi... The Invigaron system. Brains.

Charlie:Eggs, you know? Like, uh... from a chicken. Just eggs?

Charlie:And it's gonna... it's gonna be hella cool, man. You're gonna like these eggs.

Frank:I found him turning tricks in the scrap metal yard.

Cricket:You want to hear about a... dog orgy or when a cat bit off my toe?

Frank:Hello! Hello? Ango Gablogian, the art collector. Charmed, I'm sure.

Bullshit. Derivative. That... I love. I absolutely love.

Frank:I mean, look at us. We're just air conditioners. I mean, after all, we're just walking around on the planet, breathing, conditioning the air. I condition it hot, that conditions it cold. I mean, it's symbiotic, no?

Frank:I mean, look at us. We're just air conditioners. I mean, after all, we're just walking around on the planet, breathing, conditioning the air.

Dennis:Shoot her tits. I need some... I need a couple... Just... Get mostly tits on this one. Lots of emotion. And I want to feel a little bit of, uh, of sadness coming from your tits.

Grieco, you've had 15 packages of seaweed today.

Mac:She was like 50.

Dennis:Yeah, she looked good for her age. She looked like Rick Moranis. Moranis was always in pretty good shape, yeah. Plus, when she took her hair out of the bun, she went from Moranis to Alanis.

Mac:So, technically, you were raped.

Dennis:It wasn't rape. Can't rape a guy.

Mac:Huh? You can't rape...

Dennis:I was... I was willing. You know, you can't rape... I mean, it's cool. Like, I bedded an older woman. That's cool.

Dennis:Plus, when she took her hair out of the bun, she went from Moranis to Alanis.

Richard Grieco:Touch my finger... and transfer your pain into me.

Dennis:I'm not touching your finger, man. I'm not touching your finger!

Cricket:I call this one 'Dog Three-Way.' 'Cause I was recently in a dog three-way. Actually, four with me, so, four-way. I was in a dog orgy.

Dennis:Pump your brakes. You met Grieco?

Charlie:Yeah, I met Grieco. Yeah, he-he was in my movie, but, uh, it didn't go very well.

Dennis:What-what are you doing? Are you doing a Grieco thing?

Charlie:Yeah, I'm doing a Grieco thing, 'cause-'cause Grieco's the man.

Charlie:God, he's making a mockery of my art, bro.

Dennis:Frank, did you buy an air conditioner?

Frank:Yes, and I bought a painting for 35 K. Why? Because I liked it, and that's what it cost.

Ango:Millions. I'd trade my limbs for it.

Richard Grieco:Hey, hoser, remember when I raped you in the library? Hoser, hoser, hoser, hoser, hoser, hoser, hoser...

Gallery Owner:Oh, no. Oh. I rent an art gallery, or more accurately, my parents rent one for me.

Frank:What?! So that painting I bought from you was worthless?

Gallery Owner:Of course not. It meant something to you. It's worth exactly what you paid.

Gallery Owner:Oh, no. I rent an art gallery, or more accurately, my parents rent one for me.

Dennis:You see, art is an ambiguous thing, yeah? Yeah, just because you make some art, it doesn't mean that you're an artist. But, also, it does mean you're an artist. But does it mean that that art is good art? Is art good just because the right people say it's good?

Dennis:Yeah, but keep in mind, you know, a lot of modern art is... is trash. I mean, it's shitty. It's not... You know, it's not good. It's terrible. You know? And yet, it's a fine line between van Gogh and Van Damme, you know, between Depp and Grieco, between Banksy and Charlie

Dennis:But if one thing has become abundantly clear to me today-- and it should be to all of you, as well-- is that I wasn't raped. We had a good time, she and I. Yeah? It was a... it was a two-way road. The whole thing was... mutual.

Dennis:But if one thing has become abundantly clear to me today-- and it should be to all of you, as well-- is that I wasn't raped.

Dennis:And the woman in no way looked like Rick Moranis.

Mac:She totally did.

Mac:I remember her.

Dee:Remember her?

Mac:Yeah.

Dee:Um...Oh, no. I wouldn't even sleep with her.