Psycho Pete Returns

Mac:Wait, so you just painted your butt blue and nobody noticed the hole in your pants?

Charlie:Yeah, it worked, it worked.

Dennis:It's a good trick.

Dee:The guy you went to high school with, who killed and ate his family?

Mac:Yeah... Yeah, yeah, yeah... but don't get all hung up on that, man

Mac:they unscrambled his brain and he's, like, good now.

Dennis:Yeah, they sorted him out, they sorted him out.

Frank:I lived with these maniacs in the loony bin. There is no curing those psycho bastards... but once your brain's a piece of shit, it's always a piece of shit.

Dennis:What'd you do, did you, like, yank it out in a fit of rage? That's pretty psycho...

Pete:No... no, it's just genetics.

Mac:Aw, genetics, so psycho...!

Pete:struggling with my weight for a while now, yeah; M-meds don't help.

Mac:Oh, oh, yeah, uh... A psycho struggle!

Pete:Actually, you know, j-just turn the music down, j-just a bit.

Mac:Remember, like, you used to go right up to babies in carriages and just scream in their faces, you know, they'd cry...?

Pete:I-I don't feel good about that stuff. I actually regret a lot of the stuff we used to do.

Mac:This guy sucks now.

Dennis:Oh, my God.

Charlie:Like, I don't like him at all.

Mac:No, no, he's, like, not psycho at all.

Dennis:No, it's like Mild Mannered Pete.

Charlie:More like Boring Pete.

Frank:Sorry about the stuff I was saying about, uh... the mentally insane... earlier. Did that anger you? ...I didn't mean to call... psychotic people 'mutants.'

Mac:the main problem with people going to these state-run loony bins is the separation between church and state... You spend most of your time talking to a therapist, instead of a priest.

Mac:a priest is gonna let you off the hook for all the things that you've done... He needs to be absolved, so that he can go psycho again.

Mac:Holy shit, holy shit!

Dennis:Oh, shit, what happened? Put it on, put it on.

Charlie:Put it back on! Put it back on!

Mac:What the hell happened to your face?!

Cricket:This happened to me when I was locked in your burning apartment at Thanksgiving.

Mac:No, you weren't there for that...

Dennis:I don't think you were there, man.

Dennis:Why would we want you at Thanksgiving dinner? Especially looking like that, you would've freaked everyone out

Cricket:I don't need to suck him or anything or... let him inside me?

Cricket:if he wants up inside me, it will cost you a whole sixer, I mean, that... I got my dignity.

Frank:so they just cut all the loonies loose?

Dennis:What? How could they do that? That's-that's insane!

Dee:I guess it was either that or raise our taxes.

Frank:What?! Raise my taxes? Come on. How much do these vultures need? I already pay a ton in taxes... I'm not paying more in taxes, Dee. I won't do it. Don't speak of it again!

Frank:It's okay, Froggy. I'll keep you moist.

Frank:Th-This is the nitwit school I was shanghaied to when I was a kid... That one that you had your mommy tell them to tell you that you didn't have donkey brains.

Frank:One time, we escaped and they chased us down with those big nets they use to catch dogs.

Charlie:Did you grow up in a cartoon?

Dee:they used that money to open up the Eagles' new practice facility...

Dennis:That makes sense.

Mac:That's kind of a no-brainer... you can't have our guys out there twisting ankles...

Dennis:A man of Shady McCoy's abilities, he needs a proper landing strip.

Dennis:Sophie's choice, huh?

Mac:Mm-hmm.

Charlie:Oof. Go, Birds.

Mac:Go, Birds.

Pete:Is that a glory hole?

Cricket:Yes. It is, my son. But it'll cost you a whole sixer if you want to unburden yourself in that way.

Mac:he used to, um, scream in baby's faces.

Cricket:Well, that's just funny. That was just plain funny...

Dennis:Okay, no, you know what he used to do? He used to gather, like, cats and dogs... and then put them into like a little room and, like, have 'em battle it out.

Cricket:That's just cats' and dogs' nature, to fight, so I don't see a problem with that.

Mac:All right, um... he used to, um, scream in baby's faces.

Cricket:Well, that's just funny. That was just plain funny.

Mac:I know, I know, I know.

Cricket:They'd be all freaked out...

Cricket:also, he murdered and ate his family.

Mac:Right.

Mac:What?

Mac:Jesus Christ! That guy's a goddamn maniac! I'm not absolving him!

Cricket:there's a storm brewing on the inside... He's straight-up possessed by the devil... He used to be fun crazy... then the devil was like, 'I like this dude! I'm gonna get involved!'

Mac:Get the demon, the goblin, the ghoul and then you got Pete.

Mac:Well, no, no, no, no. There's no goblins, there's no ghouls, it's just demons, okay?

Cricket:Well, they're all made up, so...

Dennis:I'll act crazy and then he'll prescribe them to me.

Dennis:Your bad acting will only confuse him and it will infuriate me.

Frank:Do you have some sort of donkey brain database?

No.

Frank:I'm looking for a kid, the frog kid. Just search for any half-man, half-amphibious creature.

Dennis:I've always relied upon the kindness of strangers.

Dennis:What is... what are you do... What is that, A Streetcar Named Desire?

Dennis:You haven't thought of the smell, you bitch!

Dennis:Of course I'm not, Dee. Don't be ridiculous. Think of the smell. You haven't thought of the smell, you bitch!

Dr. Zimmerman:you are Froggy.

Frank:Huh?

Dr. Zimmerman:It was you, Frank! You are the frog kid!

You were an outcast as a child, so you created an imaginary friend... But the lines of reality became blurred. Soon you didn't know where Frank began and Froggy ended.

Frank:We have to catch the froggy.

Dr. Zimmerman:Put that down. Get out of here!

Dr. Zimmerman:Here we go, come on...

Dr. Zimmerman:I'm not sick anymore! I'm not a frog!

Dr. Zimmerman:I know I'm not a frog!

Frank:Catch the froggy!

Cricket:Unless you have crack. If you have crack, let's boogie.

Mac:No one is going into your asshole.

Cricket:I wouldn't let them without the crack.

Dennis:Well, I had a simple conversation with a reasonable man and that man wrote me a prescription.

Dee:Mm, yeah. He got the drugs by being a real-life actual psychopath.

Pete:All that stuff with my family? It's just, it's just a rumor people started about me... none of it was true, and then the more people spread it around, the more afraid people were of me.

Pete:Social anxiety disorder mixed with depression. I was really more of a danger to myself. I was always talking about committing suicide.

Pete:you always liked me, so I figured you guys could help me cope with it.

Dennis:That we would help...?

Pete:Yeah!

Mac:Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Mac:This thing's going all the way to Los Angeles, buddy, all right? City of Angels!

Dennis:Yeah, a place where no one is depressed.

Charlie:Yeah, you can surf the sadness away!

Train Conductor:Oh, well, George, good luck. Enjoy Philadelphia, City of Brotherly Love.

Yeah.

Train Conductor:They're gonna take great care of you here.