Dee receives e-mails from a stranger claiming to be her and Dennis' real father. Meanwhile, Mac decides to visit his father who is in prison.
WAR
48.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad” ranks #123 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 75.6 — Great. The episode packs 72 scored jokes at 2.5 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Mac landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Charlie Misdirection Escalation ★ Rewatch Mac's Dad: What do you guys know about smuggling heroin through your anus?
Mac's Dad Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Barbara · Bruce: What if he doesn't get better? You're gonna look like a fool. / The kid's gonna die anyway. What difference does it make?
Frank: I don't want to be his friend. I want to shoot him in the face.
Frank Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Barbara: Children, would you like to have been aborted?
Barbara Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 72 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Dee: Hey-o! What is up, bitches?
Charlie: So that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. You guys are losers.
Charlie: Computers are for losers.
Charlie Absurdist Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dee: You're drinking a beer at 8:00 in the morning.
Dee Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Charlie: Whatever, dude. Irrelevant.
Charlie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: This is bullshit! You guys have two dads, and I don't even have one.
Mac: Yeah! That is bullshit! We don't even have one.
Mac: Yeah. But he's in prison. He's been there my whole life. It doesn't count.
Mac Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Charlie: That does count! I never met my father!
Dee: Is it any more ridiculous than our dad having brown eyes, black hair and being 4'10"?
Dee Observational Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Frank: You two aren't banging, are you?
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive Frank: Stay away from that kind of thing. No good can come of it. Trust me.
Frank Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Frank: because I don't want no... grandkids.
Frank Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Barbara: Jesus Christ! What have I walked into here?
Barbara Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Barbara: Banging your sister is perverted, Dennis.
Dennis: I am not banging my sister!
Dennis Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Frank: Your turkey neck is looking exceptionally attractive this evening.
Frank Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Barbara · Frank: You have turned into a retarded person. / You're a retard.
Dennis: Can we use some adult language, just for a couple minutes?
Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Dennis · Barbara: There's a chance this guy could be our father? / No. Yes, he is your father.
Barbara: Oh, I'm sorry. Would you rather I had them aborted?
Barbara Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Barbara: Children, would you like to have been aborted?
Barbara Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Frank Escalation Character Comedy Frank: that my horrible, whore wife has tricked me into raising two bastards for 30 years, and I'm being asked to not make a scene!
Frank Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Frank: Whoa! Oh, excuse me? Oh, did you bang my wife? Huh?
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Frank: Does anybody here have any illegitimate children with my whore wife that I should know about?
Frank Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Frank: Jesus, Frank! My life is a lie! My life is a lie!
Frank Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Frank: Somebody's got to get stabbed! Somebody's got to get sta...
Frank Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Mac's Dad: What do you guys know about smuggling heroin through your anus?
Mac's Dad Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Mac · Frank: What's with the gun, dude? / I'm trying to find the son of a bitch who fathered my children.
Frank: I don't want to be his friend. I want to shoot him in the face.
Frank Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Mac: This is our opportunity to prove to people that we are to be respected.
Mac Character Comedy Absurdist Mac · Charlie: This is our chance to get hard. / I want to get very, very hard.
Mac · Charlie: Do you want to shove heroin into your ass? / I don't want to shove anything in my ass.
Mac: This is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are and not shove anything into our asses!
Mac Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bruce Awkward Silence Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bruce: Hello. Those are your brothers and sisters.
Bruce Absurdist Cringe/Discomfort Dennis: No. We'll do that later. We'll do that later because it's... it's hard to remember.
Dennis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dennis · Dee: No, no. I was kidding. / It was just a joke, I think.
Bruce · Dennis · Dee · Dennis: What about you? What are your passions? / There's been a lot of... / Oh, so many things we do. / Phases.
Dee · Dennis: A lot of... These guys. / These guys are important to us.
Bruce: I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Bruce Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Frank: I got you. I got this guy Tom. And that crazy woman who claims we had a one-night stand 30 years ago.
Frank Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Mac: Tom doesn't really count though. He kind of, like, comes with it.
Mac Observational Character Comedy Frank: This bastard destroyed my lineage. He must be smashed.
Mac's Dad: Now he doesn't mind sifting through the feces, so don't hold back.
Charlie: Oh, we are getting so hard. It's, like... Whew!
Mac · Charlie: then we promise we will come back with our butts filled. / Oh, so filled. So filled for you.
Mac's Dad: Do not come back here without anything up those asses!
Mac: Are you kidding me? I swear, Charlie, you're, like, a retard.
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mac · Mac: What we're gonna do is we're gonna bash him with the bat when he comes out. / Are you kidding me? I swear, Charlie, you're, like, a retard.
Mac Mac Escalation Character Comedy Charlie · Mac: You want to huff some of this glue with me? / This is Elmer's glue, for Christ sakes, Charlie!
Mac: When he comes out, I'm gonna smash his face. You're gonna take a picture. We're gonna show it to my dad to prove how hard we are!
Mac Absurdist Character Comedy Charlie · Charlie · Mac: So did you. / How is that different? / I don't know, Charlie! Focus!
Bruce · Mac · Charlie: Can I help you? / Can I help you? / Can I help you?
Mac · Charlie: What the hell was that shit? What did you do? / I freaked out.
Mac · Charlie · Mac: Blood! Blood! There's so much blood! / We bashed him good! / I think we killed him.
Dee · Dennis: We went to this lupus event last night. Lupus is awesome! / Amazing.
Barbara: I guess it never came up.
Barbara Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Sick Child · Dee · Barbara: It hurts everywhere. / Well... Everything's gonna be okay. / You don't know that, Deandra.
Barbara · Bruce: What if he doesn't get better? You're gonna look like a fool. / The kid's gonna die anyway. What difference does it make?
Sick Child: I can hear you.
Barbara: We were talking about your sick and dying friend in the next bed.
Barbara Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Dee · Barbara · Dee: You can't steal the children's medication. / I'm not. / Let me see in your purse!
Dee · Dennis: Who are we really helping? / Well, listen, it's one thing to rock out, raise some cash. But it's a totally different thing to put our lives at risk.
Dee: Brucie, do you know a nice restaurant in the area?
Dee Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dee: Who is he? Patch Adams?
Dee Observational Character Comedy Charlie · Mac's Dad: It's gonna be that big? / Absolutely. You ready? Drop those pants.
Frank: So I contacted that woman on MySpace who claimed that we had a one-night stand.
Frank Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Callback Mac's Dad: Don't Daddy me. You blew your chances with this daddy. You're dead to me.
Mac's Dad: I'm not into being your dad anymore. Don't want to be your dad.
Charlie Misdirection Escalation ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
