Mac and Dee become vigilantes in order to remove the homeless from their neighborhood, while Frank and Dennis impersonate police officers.
WAR
51.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City” ranks #57 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.0 — Elite. The episode packs 49 scored jokes at 2.0 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Mac landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dennis: The streets are flooded with the ejaculate of the homeless... and you people are counting on the police?
Dennis Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Charlie · Police officer: Spin Doctors mix? I taped over the Spin Doctors mix.
Charlie: I doused the whole car full of gasoline.
Charlie: Oh, I get it. You're one of them, huh? A crooked cop. Yeah, I get it! Everybody's a crooked cop, huh? Am I the only cop left in Philadelphia who ain't crooked?
Charlie Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Mac · Charlie: Oh, you're gonna do Christopher Walken now? I'm not doing Christopher Walken. I'm walking from the situation.
All Jokes — 49 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Unknown: There's a masturbating bum in the alley. He's masturbating.
Unknown Cringe/Discomfort Observational Unknown: Yes. I saw that guy's wiener.
Unknown: He's gonna rip it off one of these days. It's disgusting.
Unknown Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Charlie: We should get a junkyard dog. A really mean, nasty junkyard dog. We'll chain him up in the alley.
Charlie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mac: Now, I like to cut my sleeves off. It's kind of my look. So I'm wondering if the tailor is provided for us, or I'm left to my own devices.
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Mac: Yeah. Will you be providing the weapons?
Mac Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Mac: Oh! I get it. Okay. We go buy the weapons. We tell you how much we spent, and you reimburse us. Great.
Mac Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: It doesn't work like that. You gotta give him a receipt.
Dennis Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: I would give them the original and I would keep the copy? That seems stupid.
Mac Escalation Character Comedy Mac: If something happens to the weapons, I'm shit out of luck?
Mac Escalation Character Comedy Dennis: The streets are flooded with the ejaculate of the homeless... and you people are counting on the police?
Dennis Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dennis Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Junkyard worker · Mac · Dennis: We don't have no dogs. What... I'm sorry. Is this not a junkyard? You don't have a dog?
Junkyard worker: It was born in a pool of gasoline, on a piece of rusty scrap metal. I've seen that cat jump through barbed wire... into a vat of hot tar. That cat... Is indestructible.
Dennis: We'll take it. And throw in that cat.
Dennis Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dee Reaction Beat Irony/Sarcasm Mac · Dee: The Guardian Angels wore the same, exact outfit... when they cleaned up the streets of New York City in the 1970s. We look like Rerun.
Mac Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mac: You know what I hear when you talk like that? A scared little girl who's never had anyone fear her.
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mac: Fear is power, Dee. Don't you get that? It's like a drug. Once you get a taste of it, you can never get enough.
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dee: You know what, asshole? You like that, bitch? Huh? I am not your little pinup girl... for you to tug your rotten pecker at! Go on, get out of here.
Dee Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Homeless man · Dee: You're one crazy bitch. I don't wanna see you or your dirty balls in my alley again!
Charlie: You didn't get me one? You guys know how I love dressing up in costumes. Dude, that's bullshit.
Charlie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dennis: Plus we need room for Agent Bauer.
Dennis Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie · Dennis: It smells like it's been dumped in a bucket of piss. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Do not refer to him as a junkyard cat. He has a name... Agent Jack Bauer.
Frank · Dennis: You can be disguised as an undercover cop in the back seat. Yeah, dude. Then you can wear all the disguises you want.
Hot dog vendor · Mac · Dennis: Say, what'd this guy do? We caught him diddling kids over at a playground. Yeah, he's a perv. We're gonna bust him up good.
Mac: These uniforms are gonna pay for themselves 10 times over.
Mac Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Charlie · Mac: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna become Al Pacino in Serpico. I'm gonna be Al Pacino... Nobody cares. Get in there. You're gonna ruin it.
Charlie Mac Character Comedy Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie · Pedestrian: You like just crossin' the street whenever you want, makin' up your own laws? I'm sorry... You ought to be sorry. You just jaywalked, buddy. You gonna give me a ticket? That depends on how much money you got in your wallet.
Charlie: Put an egg in your shoe and beat it.
Charlie Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Charlie · Mac: Look, guys, we're cops. All right? We're not out here to bribe people. Will you stop doing that stupid voice? What are you doin'? I told you I was gonna do Pacino.
Charlie Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Mac · Charlie: Oh, you're gonna do Christopher Walken now? I'm not doing Christopher Walken. I'm walking from the situation.
Mac: It just hurts my feelings, because we are sticking our necks out for you guys... and, frankly, doing your job better than you are.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Police officer: These two Guardian Angels would love to help you clean up your beat.
Mac: Oh, thank God we found you. We are in a very rough neighborhood, and we are lost. Could you please direct us to the nearest bus stop?
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Cringe/Discomfort Frank: So I'll have five hot dogs. I want you to mash one of' em up in a bowl. Put some milk or some water, you know? Mash it up nice and good, but, you know, four regulars, five hot dogs altogether.
Frank Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hot dog vendor: Look, I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but no more free hot dogs. I mean, look, maybe if it was just you I could swing it... but it's you, your partner, and now I'm feedin' your cat?
Frank: Your days as a cop of this town are over. You and that mangy cat. This is a stinkin', dirty hellhole of a town. And I'm gonna clean it up.
Frank Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: I swear to God, I will jam you into the middle of next week. We will jam and jam and jam until there is nothing left of the two of you to jam.
Dennis Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac · Charlie: Stop playing with your stupid tape recorder. Go clean those bathrooms. That's not a... Charlie, clean the bathroom.
Charlie · Police officer: Spin Doctors mix? I taped over the Spin Doctors mix.
Charlie: Oh, I get it. You're one of them, huh? A crooked cop. Yeah, I get it! Everybody's a crooked cop, huh? Am I the only cop left in Philadelphia who ain't crooked?
Charlie Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: Oh, I see what's happening. You wanna come at Serpico, huh? Who wants a place of Serpico? 'Cause I'll give It to you.
Charlie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Mac: That kitty is really loving this Molotov cocktail.
Mac Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: We were supposed to be cops. We were supposed to care about justice, and it got to your head.
Charlie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Charlie: I doused the whole car full of gasoline.
Dennis: Goddamn It, Jack Bauer. You really are the man.
Dennis Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: Okay, Mr. Mayor. Feast your ears on that Spin Doctors mix.
Charlie Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
