The McPoyles hold the entire gang hostage at Paddys while Frank is busy searching for his will in the air ducts.
WAR
40
Wins Above Replacement
“The Gang Gets Held Hostage” ranks #119 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.1 — Great. The episode packs 46 scored jokes at 1.6 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Mac landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dennis · Liam: We don't want your milk, Liam. Then start breakin' bricks, wet nips.
Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: Do you mind? Margaret, you like sweat, don't you? It is 'Margaret,' isn't it? Of course, it is. You know, your eyebrow... It drives me crazy. It's so thick. It's so... dark... and so very... connected.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liam · Ryan: And a Planet Hollywood jacket. A leather one. Reversible. And we need a-a reversible Planet Hollywood jacket too.
Liam Ryan Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: If here by now... then bad place be. Trouble time for you... when heat comes.
Charlie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 46 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Mac: Frank, no one understands the subtleties of Charlie's retardation better than me.
Mac Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Mac: Then you will be handsomely rewarded.
Mac Character Comedy Absurdist Mac: 'Cause I'm your big brother, dude, and I'm the boss of you.
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dennis: I will yank your underwear over your head so hard, your asshole will rip in half.
Dennis Escalation Dark/Subversive Charlie · Mac: Mac, can an asshole rip in half? Like tissue paper.
Dennis: Take the cash register. Take the girl.
Dennis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dee · Dennis: But they're not trying to take me anywhere! Don't try to be a hero. Do what they say! They're not saying anything.
Liam · Ryan: And a Planet Hollywood jacket. A leather one. Reversible. And we need a-a reversible Planet Hollywood jacket too.
Liam Ryan Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis · Mac: They can't get a Planet Hollywood jacket. Those places don't even exist anymore. They don't make those jackets. They'd have to call Stallone, and he's not gonna give his up. Maybe Aykroyd.
Dee: Oh, my God. What is that? Does that start with a sore throat? Because I think I might be getting it.
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dennis: Mac or Charlie, right? I mean, what do they have to live for? Not one thing.
Dennis Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Dee · Mac · Charlie: He had a great life. Yeah. Sure. He had a full, full, good ride. Oh, a fantastic ride. I had a terrible ride. Charlie, you had the worst ride. You deserve another shot at the ride. I want a better ride. Oh, you oughta ride and ride.
Mac: It's too late for the guys, but there's plenty of time to save me.
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dennis · Mac: I volunteer to rest first. Bullshit. You can't volunteer to rest.
Mac · Charlie: It's making me crazy, dude. Hold on. Oh, my God. He's burning up. Sit down. You gotta sit down. Oh, God. I'm getting sick.
Charlie: So, guys, do you mind if I grab a couple of beers? I feel we would be a lot more relaxed if we had some beers. Oh, and a cooler! Get a cooler. We're gonna want to keep the beers cold.
Liam · Mac: She's a deaf-mute. The only reason she raised her hand is 'cause you guys did. Really? Let's try that again, right?
Liam Mac Visual Gag Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Mac · Dennis: Hey, I wonder what else we could get her to do? Uh, let's blink really fast. Oh, come on. That's awesome.
Charlie: If here by now... then bad place be. Trouble time for you... when heat comes.
Charlie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dennis · Mac: Why are you covering your mouth? So she can't read my lips, dude. I don't want her reading lips. Her? She can't read lips. You don't think? No way.
Mac · Charlie: You should be paying attention, Charlie, because this could be very good for you. Come on, come on. You're losin' me. Oh, my God.
Mac · Charlie: With Frank dead, the will gone, Charlie gets all the money. I get all the money? What money?
Mac · Charlie: Where's the real map? The real map is tattooed on my body. Get outta here. Where? Right here.
Mac · Charlie: I can't see anything. Look closer. What do you see? Nothing. What do you smell? Oh, my God! Really? You fart in my face?
Charlie: Why? 'Cause you stole my map, and Frank's in the vents! You're lyin', we could die, and I never got to fart in your face before!
Dennis · Liam: We don't want your milk, Liam. Then start breakin' bricks, wet nips.
Liam · Ryan: Ryan, stab somebody! Oh! What have you done? Give me the milk. Showin' 'em we're not bluffin'. No, you're supposed to stab one of them. You stab one of them!
Liam Ryan Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dennis · Dee: Get inside their head. And have sex with them. Mm-hmm. Have sex with them? No. I was gonna say, pit them against each other.
Mac: I just need to get alone with her and let the pecs do the talkin'.
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Frank · Mac: Whatever happens, make sure Charlie's the first one to die. What? Why? Because of this will business. He stands to gain the most.
Charlie · Mac: So once the McPoyles take out Dennis, Dee and Frank... Yeah. Then you and I will split the money right down the middle. Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh. That's kind of a lot, don't you think? I'll tell you what. I'll give you 25%.
Charlie: Frank has to die. Gotta kill Frank. Gotta kill him somehow.
Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Dee: No, I don't. No! I just think it's a good way to decide who to kill first. I'm tryin' to put myself in their position, you know? It's called compassion, dickheads.
Dee Irony/Sarcasm Cringe/Discomfort Dee · Dennis: Get on your knees, bitches! What are you doing? Now you're on their side? You wanna be a McPoyle, trash bag?
Mac: Do you mind? Margaret, you like sweat, don't you? It is 'Margaret,' isn't it? Of course, it is. You know, your eyebrow... It drives me crazy. It's so thick. It's so... dark... and so very... connected.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: You're a stone cold fox, Margaret. You're a stone cold fox, and I want you. I gotta have you. I need you. I want you inside me.
Mac Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Mac: I am gonna shove my fist right into your ass, hard and fast... not in a sexual way... in a 'I am pissed off at you' way...
Mac Escalation Character Comedy Mac: It's where he goes to be alone and break bottles. Dude, you gotta be real careful. He's gonna find you.
Mac Character Comedy Absurdist Frank · Charlie: But that goddamn Mac, he... Then tell me, Frank. What do you think about... this?
Charlie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: That was very... hot and sweaty and passionate... milky.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dee: I like men in tight, white underpants.
Dee Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Dee: I love inbreeding! I like men in tight, white underpants.
Dee Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Charlie: Yippie-kayyay, Mr. Fuckin'... Brother!
Dee · Mac: This gun is rubber. Rubber gun! It's rubber? She's right. It's rubber. There's no police! There's no police down there, dude!
Dee Mac Escalation Misdirection ★ Rewatch McPoyles: Whoo! Haha! Eat it, douche bags! Whoo! Whoo! McPoyles!
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