The gang decides to expand their business by developing a number of products that they could sell at Paddy's pub.
WAR
39.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens” ranks #155 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 72.0 — Solid. The episode packs 67 scored jokes at 2.3 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Charlie landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Lawyer: You know, fortunately, I made hundreds of copies of that.
Lawyer Escalation Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: Then I'll just regress, 'cause I feel like I've made myself perfectly redundant.
Charlie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: It's still new enough to be edible. That's an edible contract!
Charlie Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: Is your cat clawing at your furnitures? Think there's no answer? You're so stupid!
Charlie Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Mac: I'll just eat the contract later.
Mac Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 67 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Charlie: Hello. Charlie Kelly here, local business owner and cat enthusiast.
Charlie Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Charlie: Is your cat constantly stomping around, driving you crazy?
Charlie Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Charlie: Is your cat clawing at your furnitures? Think there's no answer? You're so stupid!
Charlie Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Charlie: [Crickets Chirping]
Charlie Reaction Beat Awkward Silence Charlie: I couldn't hear anything.
Charlie: Is your cat one-legged? Is your cat fat, skinny or an in-between?
Charlie Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Charlie: Kitten Mittens. You'll be smitten. Mee-ow!
Charlie Wordplay/Pun Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Charlie: Kitten Mittens. You'll be smitten.
Charlie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Charlie: I've been forced to fall asleep to the deafening sound of, like, a hundred alley cats tapping on my windows, trying to get in.
Charlie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dennis: What do moronic Kitten Mittens have to do with our bar?
Charlie: Okay. One, they're not moronic. They're awesome.
Mac: We could do T-shirts. We could do beach towels, those nudie pens.
Mac Character Comedy Escalation We got you to sign that contract so we could pay you less than minimum wage.
Dee: Oh! You son of a bitch! That doesn't nullify it, you know?
Mac Dee Physical/Slapstick Escalation Dee: I don't, but you can't just go eat a contract!
Dennis: He just did eat it.
Dennis: You don't have a leg to stand on.
Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Wordplay/Pun Dennis: Kitten Mittens? No, idiot. Merchandising in the bar.
Dennis Misdirection Character Comedy Frank: I've never been to Fiji.
Frank: How about, like, hard-boiled eggs from Paddy's Bar? Green eggs. Says 'Paddy's' on them. You keep them on your desk when you go to work.
Frank Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Frank: Then you put it on your dashboard of your car.
Frank Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dennis: I don't get it?
Frank: You don't get it!
Dennis: I don't get it?
Frank: You don't get it!
Dennis: Oh, yeah? We'll see who doesn't get it!
Charlie: That woman looks like a stone-cold bitch, and you know it. And he knows it 'cause he turns the picture away from him.
Charlie Dark/Subversive Observational ★ Rewatch Charlie: I was not participating in that conversation, 'cause I don't find her lovely. I think you're better than that. I think you can do better than that. And I mean that as a compliment.
Charlie Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch Lawyer: I do charge. Okay? You don't pay.
Lawyer Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Charlie: We're both men of the law. You know? We get after it. You know? We jabber-jaw. We go tit for tat.
Charlie Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Charlie: Then I'll just regress, 'cause I feel like I've made myself perfectly redundant.
Charlie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: the heretofore document had- had dry ink on it for at least many 'forknights,'
Charlie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Secretary: But they locked me in a closet.
Mac: Let me show you mine, then you can go first. Then I'd be going second.
Mac Dennis Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Mac: Paddy's thong, dude! Paddy's thong!
Dennis: You're wearing women's underwear?
Mac: Yeah, bro! You bet your ass I'm wearing women's underwear.
Mac Dennis Visual Gag Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Mac: What's more sexual than a high-waisted thong riding high up a woman's backside? Nothing.
Mac Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mac: I'm wearing them because I want to turn you on.
Mac Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mac: You drew a men's buttocks on a towel.
Mac Deadpan/Understatement Visual Gag Dennis: Oh, it's a baby dick.
Mac: Yeah! We're gonna sell a million of these, dude.
Dennis: We'll do black ones and yellow ones for the Asians.
Dennis Dark/Subversive Escalation Mac: Oh, it's a baby dick.
Dennis: Yeah!
Mac: We're gonna sell a million of these, dude.
Frank: Open your mouth, bitch. Prepare to be blasted, bitch!
Frank Escalation Physical/Slapstick Frank: It's a gun that shoots liquor into your mouth!
Frank Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Dee: You threw tequila in my eye!
Frank: Well, I haven't figured out how to get the tequila to come out of the barrel of the gun.
Dee Frank Physical/Slapstick Deadpan/Understatement Frank: Paddy's Pub stress ball. You give this to people. They put it on their desk.
Dennis: Oh, goddamn it, Frank! That's just an egg!
Charlie: The woman in the room right next to him... she just ate an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy!
Charlie Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Charlie: she just ate an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy!
Mac: We're not here to blackmail a lady for eating too many cookies.
Mac Deadpan/Understatement Escalation Charlie: We were staking you out last night- kinda spying on you. It got a little cold. It dropped down, right? So we jimmied your lock and spent the night in here.
Charlie Escalation Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Charlie: Because you're having an affair, and we're gonna blackmail you for your services.
Lawyer: my wife is leaving me. And I have to sleep in this fleabag motel.
Lawyer: my wife is leaving me. And I have to sleep in this fleabag motel.
Lawyer Irony/Sarcasm Cringe/Discomfort Mac: You just cannot blast water out of a gun. The technology is just not there.
Mac Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Dennis: You want to feel the weight of a real gun in your mouth. You want to taste the metal. You want to feel the steel, man
Dennis Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Mac: eagles flying through the air and picking up trout out of rivers and shit. Ripping it apart and eating it
Mac Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Dennis: We took what was a good idea and we made it a great idea.
Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Mac: Take a look at Hard Rock Cafe. Got tweaked by Planet Hollywood. Coke got tweaked by Pepsi. Transformers got tweaked by GoBots.
Mac Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: Lawyer, check out this freakish whore we found.
Frank: I slip into your house one night while your wife is sleeping, and I ease into her real nice.
Frank Dark/Subversive Escalation Frank: I wasn't talking about raping your wife. I was talking about making love to her sweetly while she sleeps.
Frank Escalation Dark/Subversive Dee: This one ate a contract that said I got all the rights to the Paddy's Pub merchandise.
Mac: That never happened.
Dee: It happened!
Mac: I'll just eat the contract later.
Mac Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Dennis: How did you get that much propulsion on the gun?
Frank: I made tequila bullets, but I guess I put too much gunpowder in.
Mac: Six boobs! We're all on the same team!
Secretary: So sorry, sir. They duct-taped me to the bathroom sink.
Dennis: Awesome! I'm wasted!
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Mac: People love stupid shit!
Mac: Why do you keep calling it stupid though?
Lawyer: The contract that you all blindly signed grants me 100% of the profits from any merchandising opportunities
Lawyer Escalation Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Charlie: Well, that's what the hooker was for!
Lawyer: the contract that you all signed also included a restraining order? Which you're all currently violating.
Lawyer Escalation Setup/Punchline Charlie: It's still new enough to be edible. That's an edible contract!
Charlie Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Lawyer: You know, fortunately, I made hundreds of copies of that.
Lawyer Escalation Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Mac: You can probably stop eating that now.
Mac Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
