The gang does their best to recoup their investments in questionable schemes by dumping their losses on Ben the soldier while trying to avoid being duped again by whatever mastermind is pulling their strings.
WAR
68.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Mac and Dennis Buy a Timeshare” ranks #30 of 177 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 84.6 — Elite. The episode packs 60 scored jokes at 2.0 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Charlie landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Frank: It's a pyramid scheme.
Dee: It's not a pyramid scheme.
Frank: It's a reverse funnel system.
Dee: Turn it upside down.
Dee: Oh, shit!
Frank Dee Setup/Punchline Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Mac: You got got! You thought we were a bunch of suckers, but guess what? We're not. We just bought three weeks of a time-share.
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: Basically a house of cards where the dickheads at the bottom do all the work, and give all the money to the smart guys up at the top.
Charlie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Dennis: What happens if we buy a third week and sell that? We're getting paid to vacation!
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Charlie: How did this happen?
Frank: How does anything happen, Charlie? Move past it, will ya?
All Jokes — 60 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Charlie: You're, like, a berry salesman now or...?
Dee: No, I'm a distributor, Charlie, for a revolutionary new product that changes lives.
Dee: Oh, those are my new wrenches. I got those free for sitting through a 20-minute presentation.
Dee Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Charlie: Oh, I get it now. It's a scam.
Charlie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Dee: Alpacas can survive entire winters on this shit.
Dee Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: Now what kind of superpowers are you talking about? Like, do you survive the winter?
Charlie: Because I've survived many winters without these berries.
Charlie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Charlie: Where do I put my feet?
Dee: Wherever you want.
Charlie: I'm gonna put them on the stool.
Dee: Great. It doesn't matter.
Mac: what? Units. Units, dude. Units of what?
Dee: Units of stress!
Mac Dee Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Mac: You're getting scammed, Dee!
Dee: It's not a scam!
Mac: You walked into a room that you could have walked out of with a free set of golf club but instead you got got.
Mac Dee Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Mac: Yeah, well, we won't get got though. We gonna get.
Mac Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dennis: See, Dee, people like us, we don't get got. We go get.
Dennis Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Dee: What are you doing, Charlie?!
Charlie: I'm drinking the berry juice to save my life.
Dee: wealth creation through the use of antioxidants, powerful antioxidants
Dee: redefine success and change the world.
Dee Character Comedy Absurdist Charlie: All those words are, like, stressing me out, Dee. And I can't get more stress... I'm at 157!
Charlie Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Charlie: He said he had some dream or something. And, like, he woke up, he's like, 'Ah, Charlie, I got to get to the playground.' And he shot out of here.
Dee: Frank? What is this? You're stuck? Was this your plan?
Dee Frank Visual Gag Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Charlie: How did this happen?
Frank: How does anything happen, Charlie? Move past it, will ya?
Frank: It's a pyramid scheme.
Dee: It's not a pyramid scheme.
Frank: It's a reverse funnel system.
Dee: Turn it upside down.
Dee: Oh, shit!
Frank Dee Setup/Punchline Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Dee: You're the sucker, okay? You're naked and you're stuck in a coil!
Dee Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm If we get him out of there, how do we know he's gonna keep helping us? If we get him out of there, he might scam us further.
Dee Charlie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Charlie: I say we leave him stuck in there just for a few more days so we can leverage him for business advice... We keep him contained.
Frank: It's Saturday coming up. There's gonna be kids here!
Frank Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Mac: Save it, bozo. We're here for the free golf clubs. You got exactly 20 minutes to do your little song and dance.
Mac Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Harris: You fellows strike me more as men of leisure. Obviously.
Mac: Well, we are.
Dennis: Been there? Not physically.
Dennis Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dennis: What happens if we buy a third week and sell that? We're getting paid to vacation!
Dennis Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Mac: You got got! You thought we were a bunch of suckers, but guess what? We're not. We just bought three weeks of a time-share.
Mac Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dee: Nobody gives a shit about free soup, Charlie. People want golf clubs and concert tickets.
Dee Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Da'Maniac's here. He's sucked down, like, three bowls of it.
Dee: As you can tell by our huge mansion, we're insanely loaded. But it wasn't always this way. We used to be losers, like all of you people.
Dee Visual Gag Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dee: Yeah, I had to do some reshoots. You are way too hung up on the berries.
Dee Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Charlie: I'm Andy, proud owner of my own mountain, where I'm a magical bean farmer.
Charlie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: Well, guess what? The Invigaron system is also a pyramid scheme.
Charlie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Charlie: Basically a house of cards where the dickheads at the bottom do all the work, and give all the money to the smart guys up at the top.
Charlie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Dee: You saw the video. Was the video not clear?
Ben: The video was pretty clear, Charlie.
Dee Ben Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Da'Maniac: Thank you for this business opportunity. I will not let you down.
Charlie: Sir, you need to pay for the product, you can't just take it out of here.
Dee: 107. Hey, man, that's pretty good. Don't... Healthy guy over here.
Dee: Charlie, no, that's terrible.
Mac: Is it a sexual thing?
Frank: No, just get me the hell out!
Mac: It doesn't matter!
Frank: Matters to me; I don't think I can move past it.
Mac Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Frank: How can you all be so gullible?
Dennis: This is different, Frank. Tell him. This asshole tried to sell us one week. We took the prick for three.
Frank: You think he didn't want to sell you as many weeks as possible?
Frank Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Frank: He went over there, probably saw some pretty serious carnage. He's gonna have some bad PTSD. If we trigger that, he'll be putty in our hands.
Frank Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Mac: You just got got, Frank. You played your hand a little too early, sucker.
Mac Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Mac: Boom!
Da'Maniac: Sometimes, loud noises make the squirrels go in my head, and I don't fight in the ring anymore, but I still fight with the demons in Da'Maniac's head.
I have a 107 stress level. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here. I-I have to go.
Ben Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback I have a 107 stress level. I shouldn't be here. I-I have to go.
Ben Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Da'Maniac: Sold to the Maniac for $1,400. Really? You know why? 'Cause I can pay you in Invigaron.
Dennis: Pyramid scheme and a time-share? We're diversifying our portfolio.
Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Da'Maniac: I'd like a big room, if you don't mind. We're gonna have so much fun.
Mac: We're gonna trigger Ben's PTSD, all right? We bust in like Navy SEALs, zip-tie his hands, bag over his head, and then we bash him till he buys.
Mac Dark/Subversive Escalation Dennis: We broke in here, looking like Arabs, screaming at him. The guy's rock solid.
Dennis Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Ben: I actually had a good time during the war. I got to travel the world, uh, try new, exotic cuisines. Well, I'm a computer programmer.
Ben Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Charlie: I just assumed that he went down there to pound off in the nighttime.
Mac: Yeah, right, right. Yeah, me, too.
Dennis: Me, too.
Mac: Scam! This guy's a liar! You guys are getting scammed! Pyramid! Pyramid! Rape! Rape! Rape!
Mac Escalation Character Comedy Look, you just, uh, sign this release form, pay a $200 penalty fee, your down line will shift up to me, and then you're free and clear.
Harris Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Harris: I'm just relieved you didn't see the old opt-out clause. Oh, no. Oh, crap, I've said too much.
Harris Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Mac: You also wrote 'faced' in the memo. Ha! Nice!
Mac Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Harris: This guy's the best salesman I got. He's already got 30 people under him. I got to thank you all so much for hooking me up with that army guy. I got his whole platoon selling for me.
Harris Irony/Sarcasm Escalation ★ Rewatch Da'Maniac: You got got! You got got!
Harris: Actually, he's in my down line. You just bought out, remember? Shoot!
Dee: Actually, he's in my down line. You just bought out, remember?
Harris Escalation Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Frank: Hey! Hey, easy, easy, easy. I gotta get out of here! Get me out of here!
Frank Visual Gag Callback Callback Top Episodes — It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
