
Character Analysis
Detective
Played by Nicholas Mele
8 jokes across 3 episodes of Seinfeld
1.6
8
6.8
6.6
Escalation
Detective delivers 8 scored jokes across 3 episodes of Seinfeld, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.6 on impact for a career WAR of 1.6. Their comedy leans toward escalation. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Detective Lines
Detective:Whoever did this didn't just dismantle it. They took their time, they had fun, they were very systematic. They went out of the way to gouge the sides of every piston. And the turbo was separated from the housing and shoved right up the exhaust pipe.
Detective · Jerry:I'm gonna ask you some personal questions. I'm sorry if I touch a nerve, but I think it will help with the case. Had you been taking good care of the car? Had I been taking--? Did you leave the AC on? Do you zip over speed bumps? Ride the clutch? Things like that?
Jerry · Detective · Elaine · Woman:Wait a second. Turbo? I didn't have a turbo. Your car is not a turbo? No, it's a 900 S. It's a turbo, Elaine. A turbo! Excuse me. Did you say 'Turbo'? Saab Turbo 9000? Is it midnight blue? Yes, ma'am.
Detective:The block is nearly split apart. We found the overhead cams 30 feet away. We can only hope the body's sold for scrap. The angle on the V6 is definitely a '92.
Elaine · Detective:We used to date but now we're just friends. I see. You know.
All Jokes — 11 total
Detective Johnny · Detective:Detectives casually discussing a young murder victim as if doing routine paperwork — 'Pretty young thing.' / 'She was.' / 'Not anymore.'
Detective:All right. So that's one tuck and one no-tuck.
Lieutenant · Detective:Let him go. — What? But, lieutenant... — You heard me. Let him go. — They just found another body up in Laurel Canyon.
Elaine · Detective:Let me ask you, have you ever seen a case like this? All the time. The mechanic forms an emotional attachment, thinks he's gonna lose the car. He panics and does something rash.
Detective · Jerry:I'm gonna ask you some personal questions. I'm sorry if I touch a nerve, but I think it will help with the case. Had you been taking good care of the car? Had I been taking--? Did you leave the AC on? Do you zip over speed bumps? Ride the clutch? Things like that?
Detective:I gotta be honest with you. These cases never end up well.
Detective:Watch where you step. There's quite a bit of grease.
Elaine · Detective:We used to date but now we're just friends. I see. You know.
Detective:The block is nearly split apart. We found the overhead cams 30 feet away. We can only hope the body's sold for scrap. The angle on the V6 is definitely a '92.
Detective:Whoever did this didn't just dismantle it. They took their time, they had fun, they were very systematic. They went out of the way to gouge the sides of every piston. And the turbo was separated from the housing and shoved right up the exhaust pipe.
Jerry · Detective · Elaine · Woman:Wait a second. Turbo? I didn't have a turbo. Your car is not a turbo? No, it's a 900 S. It's a turbo, Elaine. A turbo! Excuse me. Did you say 'Turbo'? Saab Turbo 9000? Is it midnight blue? Yes, ma'am.