Poppie

Jerry · Poppie:Poppie emerges from the bathroom and begins kneading bread dough without washing his hands. Jerry watches in horror.

Jerry · Poppie · Audrey:'Board of Health. We've had complaints.' / 'What's the problem?' / 'What do they want from Poppie?' / 'Well, Poppie's a little sloppy.'

Poppie:It is so succulent, so succulent.

Poppie:Of course, I already have a lot of money. Poppie does very well. Very well.

Jerry · Poppie:Poppie recounts his mother's tragic story — abducted by communists, slave labor for 12 years, freed, drowned at sea from bad fish — then Jerry immediately asks: 'So, what's good tonight?'

Poppie:When my mother was abducted by the communists, she was with a child. But the communists, they put an end to that. So on this issue, there is no debate and no intelligent person can think differently.

Elaine · Poppie:Well, Poppie, I think differently. / And what gives you the right to do that? / The Supreme Court gives me the right to do that!

Elaine · Jerry · George · Poppie:Let's go, Jerry. Come on. / We just got here. / I'm with you, Poppie. / Let's go. / And I am not coming back! / You're not welcome!

Kramer · Poppie:What's this? A bottle of wine and a five-alarm chili? / They're trying to kill Poppie?

Poppie:If I would have any of this, I would die. Then Poppie's no good to anyone. This is a sick, sick joke on Poppie.

Poppie · Kramer:How could you be friends with those two? / Well, we're not very close.

Jerry · Poppie · Kramer:Are you tired, Poppie? / No. / Poppie, you really think people wanna make their own pizza? / Kramer, did I ever tell you about my mother?

Kramer · Poppie:See? Everybody can do this. Yeah. / No, no. Use your wrist. It's all in the wrist. / Not too high!

Kramer · Poppie:And cucumbers. / Hey, wait a second. What is that? / It's cucumbers. / No, no. You can't put cucumbers on a pizza. / Why not? I like cucumbers. / That's not a pizza. It will taste terrible. / But that's the idea. Make your own pie.

Kramer · Poppie · Kramer · Poppie:And cucumbers. / Hey, wait a second. What is that? / It's cucumbers. / No, no. You can't put cucumbers on a pizza.

Poppie:Yes, but we cannot give the people the right to choose any topping they want. Now, on this issue, there can be no debate.

Kramer · Poppie:What gives you the right to tell me how I make my pie? / Because it's a pizza. / It's not a pizza till it comes out of the oven. / It's a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough. / No, it isn't! / Yes, it is!

Poppie:The doctors are saying I cannot have no aggravation, so I sell the restaurant. I just take it easy. See, if I get excited, that's aggravated my condition.

Poppie · Jerry · Elaine:Poppie explains he sold the restaurant because the doctors said 'no aggravation' — then the camera finds Elaine and he says 'It's you.'

Poppie:The last time I got aggravated was in the restaurant with your friend. She started a big fight about abortion.

Poppie · Jerry · Elaine:It's you. / It's you. / What? / You... I... I... / I gotta sit down. / No, Poppie, no! / No, Poppie!