Did The Earth Move For You

Will:Yes, Mom, I'm very happy with the holes that God gave me.

Will:I'd say so. Mom, no, I'm not making any extra work for Geoffrey. He hardly even knows I'm here.

Will:Yo, everything is Mop & Glo, Mom. They love me here.

Will · Uncle Phil:Will! Excuse me, Mom, me and Uncle Phil are about to go for a run.

Aunt Viv:To heat something up, I have to be Lt. Uhura of the Starship Enterprise.

Carlton:but I am not a happy camper.

Will:No, no, no, no, I wuv you more! All right, you wuv me more.

Hilary:Isn't that romantic? He's quoting Elmer Fudd.

Carlton · Hilary:Hillary, you promised I could tell. -I know. I lied.

Hilary:Everyone from the A list is gonna be there, which means... none of my friends are gonna be there, which means... they are all going to corrode with envy and hate my guts. I love it!

Geoffrey:That's ugly.

Will:Like his life isn't sad enough already.

Aunt Viv:No, Hilary, I bought a new set of Styrofoam.

Hilary:Gosh, Mom, who put the rusty nails in your granola?

Aunt Viv:It's being cleaned! Is that a problem?

Uncle Phil:Not that observant. Kathleen, your blouse is unbuttoned.

Hilary:I feel like I'm sitting in coach.

Geoffrey:Pardon me while I go get a knife.

Will:Actually, that was a puppy.

Uncle Phil:This is the dinner table, not the back seat of a Chevy.

Uncle Phil:Don't come around here with no babies.

Will:You don't have to worry about us coming around here with no babies. I mean, we don't even know no babies.

Geoffrey:Now I won't have to slash your tires.

Ashley · Uncle Phil:This dress makes me want to puke. You can't even tell I have a figure. You're 13 years old. You're not allowed to have a figure.

Carlton:If you value your vision, you won't look directly into the rock.

Uncle Phil:Oh, I just spent an hour chasing my outfit on the new rotating dress rack.

Aunt Viv:Well, yeah, I wanted to keep up with the Joneses, honey, not the Jetsons!

Uncle Phil:No problem. We'll just hop on my dress rack and swing by.

Geoffrey:Boy, this is a rare treat. I get to cruise Beverly Hills in a Volvo.

Will:It's sort of like my lucky drawers, except I wear it on my hand.

Will:Man, this door is like straight out of Blacula. It's like the '70s crawled up in here and died. Yeah, J.J. Walker's lips are probably around here somewhere.

Geoffrey:It's not me, Master Carlton, it's the road. It thinks it's an.... Earthquake!

Will:Baby, no, listen, no. The ground moved, okay? The ground. The ground moved. Nobody was bothering it, it just moved, all right?

Will:I'm a grown man sitting under a table hugging a teddy bear. I am not fine.

Will:I'm a grown man sitting under a table hugging a teddy bear. I am not fine.

Will:I may never see Zimbabwe. Never dunk on Michael Jordan. I may never see Rudy get married on The Cosbys.

Ashley:Try it and you'll be singing soprano.

Will · Kathleen:But your spot is more comfortable. I know. That's why it's my spot.

Kathleen · Will:I put them in my little black purse. Oh! You wear contacts! Is that okay?

Will:Then why isn't it growing out your scalp?

Will:Wind, rain, cheese steak, these are things I know.

Will:Because every time I come near you, the ground starts moving. I'm just trying to get back to Philly... where the ground stays still and the people move.

Geoffrey:It was either the knob or one of you.

Aunt Viv · Uncle Phil:Philip, are you trying to put the moves on me? Yes. Is it working? Yes.

Uncle Phil · Aunt Viv:It likes you. Well, honey, I hope it has a warranty.

Will · Kathleen:What's the magic word? -Now!

Will:Okay, look, Kathleen, in the last three hours... you took out your eyeballs, your fingernails... your eyelids, and your hair. Now what else on your body can I get at the mall?

Will:Yeah, your mom sucks breath mints, too!

Will:Yeah, your mom sucks breath mints, too!

Kathleen:Oh, yeah, like who? Dumbo's mother?

Will:Well, I'm sorry, but I couldn't find any Lee Press-On Ears.

Will · Kathleen:Hey, hey, don't be dissing my bear! Well, don't be dissing my hair.

Will:Listen to me, I'm starting to sound like my Uncle Phil. Next thing I know, I'm going to wake up bald and hungry.

Uncle Phil · Aunt Viv:All it took was an earthquake. You think something hit him on the head?