Ashley Banks

Will · Ashley:Don't you just hate it when that happens? / Yes, that is my pet peeve.

Will · Ashley:The rap battle with Ashley about the chorus audition

Ashley:Ashley's grace rap ending with 'Thank you, God, for this stupid food'

Ashley:He really likes the Care Bears.

Ashley · Will:You're like the big brother I never had. / What are you talking about? You got... You're right. I see your point.

Will · Ashley:A half bath? How does that work? / You better show me a full bathroom. I don't want to take no chances.

Ashley · Will:Didn't you have a schedule for after school at my age? Yeah, the TV Guide.

Ashley:No, wait. That's tennis.

Ashley:He owns this great store where you don't need any money. You just go in and give him something you don't even want anymore... and he gives you this ticket.

Ashley · Philip · Hilary:Daddy, it's a diamond. No, it isn't. - You don't like it? - No, I do not. Can I have it?

Hilary · Ashley:God, you're so shallow. I hate you. You're stupid and ugly and I wish you would die. -Sorry. -Okay.

Ashley:Great. Grandma and Grandpa are coming to visit. Toys.

Ashley:remained active in the field of civil rights culminating in his crowning achievement in 1975 when he was elected to the board of the ASPCA.

Geoffrey · Ashley:I'm sorry you don't like it. I'll dispose of it later. - I'll throw it out. - I'll dispose of it, Ashley.

Ashley · Uncle Phil:Word up. This is gonna be cold stupid on the serious tip. What did you say, young lady? I said that this is quite an exceptional idea, Daddy. Peachy-keen, even. Later, my man.

Ashley · Ice Tray:Three times? See, my motto is, when I find a grade I like, I stick with it.

Ashley:But, Dad, I'm only nine. Can't Hilary take care of herself?

Ashley · Hilary:Hilary, you're sitting right next to the phone. I don't care. I'm your babysitter. I command you.

Ashley:Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Let's go play! Come on, everybody, let's go play!

Ashley · Will:Will and Christina sitting in a tree... Beat it.

Hilary · Ashley · Hilary:There. You're Charlie Chaplin. / Who is Charlie Chaplin? / He was a silent movie star. / So take a hint.

Ashley · Philip · Ashley · Philip · Ashley:Daddy, it's a diamond. / No, it isn't. / You don't like it? / No, I do not. / Can I have it?

Ashley:Hey, there, Lord / My name is Ashley Banks / My family and friends / Want to give you some thanks / So before this dinner's / All swallowed and chewed / Thank you, God, for this stupid food

Ashley:Scary.

Ashley:I wanted to come as a ballerina... but I guess a short guy with a mustache is the next best thing.

Philip · Ashley:I'm going as Comfortable Man. / Is that a comic-book hero? / Sort of. He has superhuman bill-paying powers... so he gets to dress however he likes.

Ashley · Carlton · Will:What dance is this? It's called the swim, Ashley. It was very popular in the 1940s. The 1960s, and it's not the swim.

Vivian · Ashley · Hilary · Will:This is not a drill. It's a fire? My God, I'm going back for my new suede boots. Don't try to stop me. While you're up there, get my lucky drawers!

Vivian · Ashley:Since when do I have to ask you twice? Every time, Mommy.

Ashley · Carlton:All done. Darn it!

Ashley:Oops, did I say that?

Ashley:Oops again!

Ashley:Oops!

Ashley:I don't know my own strength.

Ashley:Joan Rivers. He's a plastic surgeon.

Ashley:Really? I think it's very autodidactic.

Ashley:I know the meaning of 'undulate.'

Ashley:Will, were you vociferating for me?

Ashley:Ashley wearing Will's backwards cap while surrounded by tacky Christmas decorations

Ashley:it makes me feel very ebullient.

Ashley · Phil:But, Carlton, Dad's his lawyer. Isn't that kind of using a connection? / I can't believe it, Vivian.

Ashley · Hilary:Hilary, it sounds like they hired you to be a snob. / I guess they saw something in me.

Hilary · Ashley:Federal taxes? This is an outrage. Didn't President Bush say, 'No new taxes'? / But federal taxes aren't new. / They are to me.

Ashley:Sorry, Will.

Ashley:What a gyp.

Ashley · Carlton:Is tonight a school night? No. I already thought of that.

Ashley · Carlton:I don't feel so good. Don't even try it, Ashley. We're all in this together.

Ashley · Vivian:Mommy. God bless you, sweetheart. What's the matter, baby? I can't sleep.

Phil · Ashley:You're not going anywhere, woman. Sorry, Mommy. I tried. Try again in 10 minutes.

Carlton · Ashley:Sky's the limit. I better go lock up my Barbies.

Ashley · Carlton:Hilary was a tyrant all weekend. She was terrible.

Ashley:You know, I really stopped counting at 10.

Ashley:A boy!

Ashley:I wish I was never born.

Ashley:Did I really? God, I can't even faint right.

Ashley:Come to think of it... most of my embarrassing moments involve me hitting the floor.

Ashley:You know, sigh like that. You make me feel like Benji.

Ashley:Carlton, I looked at my hair and it was fine. If you two don't mind, I'd like to continue with my date alone.

Ashley:I know you're busy. That's why I made it for then.

Ashley · Uncle Phil:This dress makes me want to puke. You can't even tell I have a figure. You're 13 years old. You're not allowed to have a figure.

Ashley:Try it and you'll be singing soprano.

Ashley:Why? Did she die?

Ashley:She won't buy anything from me, Will.

Ashley:I will hit you so hard, it will bruise your great-grandfather badly.

Ashley:your grandpa's gonna be great in another area code... or something.

Ashley:My neck?

Ashley:Fine, but if I go down, I am taking both of you with me.

Ashley:No. I'll be a total outcast. I'll have to eat lunch with the janitor.

Ashley:Anywhere. When the lava flows, it's every missionary for himself.

Ashley:Where? I don't see a buffed guy. I only see Carlton.

Ashley:Oh, God. He's coming over here. I can't look. Hand me a missionary.

Ashley:Yeah, right, and I can't go, either. A dog ate my volcano.

Ashley:You couldn't lie to Daddy about his weight, either?

Ashley:Next thing you know, they'II be Ietting us vote. Don't even get me started on that issue.

Ashley:Other than your girIfriend in biker shorts?

Ashley:A guy's idea of an icebreaker is sitting next to me in the cafeteria... and beIching my name.

Ashley:And the bike Iooks great, too.

Ashley:Mom, last time he came here... he pulled off Barbie's arm and burnt down her Dream House.

Carlton · Ashley:"You'll have to wear an indecently short skirt... make a spectacle of yourself in front of your whole school... and ride on a bus with a bunch of sweaty teenage boys. Gosh, I hope I get it."

Will · Ashley:"Your school is whack! Your school is whack! Wherever y'all came from, just take your butts back!"

Will · Ashley:Please, Will, the last time you showed me a magic trick... it took two months for my hair to grow back.

Ashley · Will:What happened to 'abracadabra'? / No, this is black magic, Ash.

Ashley · Will:I don't have a dollar. / I have a 20. / That'll do.

Will · Ashley:Going... going... gone! Will!

Ashley:Mom, if you make me go to school like this... I'm going to write a book when I grow up.

Ashley:Even Shelley Winters turned me down.

Ashley:I can't believe he thinks I'm too young to gamble. I've been eating Hilary's cooking since I was three.

Ashley:Oh, joy.

Ashley:Being 13 bites. And I'm too young to know what it bites.

Ashley:Why don't you just slap a diaper on me and hang a mobile over my head?

Ashley:I'm 13! If these were the Middle Ages, I'd already be married... and own a pair of oxen.

Geoffrey · Ashley:I'll get my wallet. -I'll get my Smurf bank.

Will · Ashley:I mean, it ain't like I took the Benz drag racing down Sunset... at 4:00 in the morning. -Tattletale.

Ashley:A few pennies, $94. Why split hairs?

Ashley:Like the time I beat Bobby Greenspan at tetherball. After that, he told everyone at school that I took steroids.

Ashley:I had to stuff Bobby Greenspan in his locker before he would apologize.

Uncle Phil · Ashley:Forget it, AshIey, I am not getting you a stun gun for Christmas. I'm not reaIIy going to use it on Cousin Bobby... I just want to scare him with it.

Ashley:Yeah, right, and maybe it was Barbie's idea to catch that tan in the microwave.

Ashley · Will:Daddy. When you were roIIing down that big hiII... you Iooked just Iike Gumby. Yeah, UncIe Les. And you sounded Iike Patti LaBeIIe.

Ashley:Oh, grow up.

Ashley:If there is an ounce of decency Ieft in you... just teII him you Iove him.

Ashley:Does that mean you're gonna go out and make me a Miata?

Ashley:I am going to give Bobby five seconds... before I ram that video game down his throat!

Ashley:I see you as an extra from Hook.

Ashley:I think you guys are spending too much time together.

Ashley:What kind of monster are you?

Carlton · Philip · Ashley:That's my cassette player. That's my bathrobe. That's my girlfriend.

Ashley:Do you come in a smaller size?

Ashley · Carlton:Carlton, we've got to find those memoirs. I'll just die if my friends find out why Lou in Better Shoes... gives me that 10% discount.

Ashley:I'm sorry, but I had to wash. I have enough problems. I'm going through puberty for God's sake.

Ashley · Phil:Come on, Daddy. Suppose Gandhi's parents treated him like this. Gandhi ate his peas.

Carlton · Ashley:Come on, Will. We're harboring a fugitive. Yeah. And ever since she got here my diary has been a lot more interesting.

Ashley:Yeah, well, his daughter can sleep in my room, but if she touches my stuff... I'm stuffing her in the clothes hamper.

Ashley:What? It's not like Hillary never did it.

Vivian · Ashley:Ashley, honey, where are your manners? / I'm sorry. Did he pop the question, please?

Ashley:But Iast time I squeaIed on HiIary... I found Barbie face down in the aquarium.

Ashley:That means it's about sex. Either UncIe Lester is seeing another woman or becoming one.

Ashley:Shoot! And it's transvestite week.

Ashley:Tomorrow on Geraldo, French women who can't say 'no.'

Ashley:That's it. I am never getting married.

Ashley:Except when he wears his shower cap and runs through the sprinkIers.

Ashley · Kevin:I mean, if you want to. Sure. I mean, if you want to. Sure. So.... Later.

Ashley · Kevin:What did you get? TweIve. Aren't we doing math? I thought we were doing history.

Ashley · Kevin:Is your heart beating fast, too? Yeah. And I kind of feeI Iike you do after the Teacup Ride.

Kevin · Ashley:Can I bIow in your ear? Why? I don't know. I heard WiII say it.

Ashley · Kevin:What's it doing? I think it's giving me an earache. It wasn't doing much for me, either.

Ashley:I don't want to be cute tonight, HiIary. I've aIways been cute. I'm up to here with cute.

Ashley:Mom! Do we have to talk about my body?

Will · Ashley:Oh, no. I mean, on the Iips. So do I.

Ashley:WiII, grow up. I'm oId enough to marry Jerry Lee Lewis.

Will · Ashley:You don't want to be that kind of girI. You mean the kind you Iike?

Philip · Ashley:I can't do it. Can't do what, Daddy?

Ashley:Kevin asked his mom a question and she fainted.

Ashley:I never liked Will, anyway.

Ashley:Well, I tried flushing her down the toilet, but the little creep floats.

Ashley:What have you been smoking?

Ashley:Oh, great, now I'm ugly.

Ashley:I know you better float your midget boat on out of here.

Ashley:Have your people call my people. We'll do lunch.

Ashley:Is Daddy bringing home white people?

Ashley:Wait, am I going to need a passport?

Hilary · Carlton · Ashley:Sorry, homework. - Tennis lesson. I just don't want to.

Ashley:Hilary's not planning on having kids, is she?

Ashley · Will:Hey! I don't care how much money you got, brother, you ain't gonna... What's going on in here?

Ashley:Vroom, vroom, vroom

Ashley:While you're at it, could you type up your thoughts on the industrial revolution? You know, double space it and put my name on it?

Ashley:Oh, my God, I've got to make myself look less attractive.

Ashley:My Tevin Campbell posters. If he touched them, I'll hunt him down like a dog.

Ashley · Carlton · Ashley:Yeah, but he took Will's baseball. You mean the one in the plastic case? I borrowed it for batting practice.

Ashley:Somebody wrote all over it. But, don't worry, I cleaned it off for you.

Ashley:Really, didn't look like it. Somebody wrote all over it. But, don't worry, I cleaned it off for you.

Will · Ashley:Care to elaborate? - A lot.

Ashley:Bungee jumping.

Ashley:What do I have to do, spit up on your shirt?

Ashley:Y'all hear something? Y eah, how about me screaming at the top of my lungs?

Ashley:Like when you took me up to the attic window... and told me I could fly? Or when you told me it was okay to roller skate down the steps.

Hilary · Ashley:Aren't you forgetting something, baby sister? - You're prettier than I'll ever be. - Something else.

Ashley:Oh, goody, a shoeshine kit.

Ashley · Hilary:Can I put the fan down first? - This time. It is your birthday.

Ashley · Will:Maybe I'd just be better off being invisible. - I'm sorry, what'd you say, Ash?

Ashley:Where'd everybody go?

Ashley:Well, I think Will married Monique just to get her into bed... and when she found out, she got so mad she took off in Dad's Mercedes.

Will · Ashley:Because I'm bigger than you. See, that's not fair. That's only 'cause you got them shoe lifts in today.

Will · Ashley:I find that hard to believe. / I think we all do, Carlton.

Ashley:This could get ugly. We're family.

Geoffrey · Ashley:Ashley, you can't drive. / Grow up. I've been taking the car since I was 12. Come on.

Ashley:Not without any teeth, you won't.

Ashley:I'm a kid. I don't know jack about insurance.

Hilary · Ashley:Look, you guys, Carlton's 18 now. I don't think we should continue to encourage that type of behavior. We're talking about the new baby.

Ashley:What we're saying is, here's $10. Go to the movies. Run!

Ashley:I knew we should have gotten them those Ginsu knives.

Ashley:Mom, if you make me go to school like this... I'm going to write a book when I grow up.

Ashley · Jazz:Vroom, vroom? Very clever. I'll get you two. Vroom, vroom, vroom.

Ashley:Ashley, that's Carlton.

Ashley · Carlton:I work all day trying to keep this house nice for you. I cook and clean and work my fingers to the bone. And this is the thanks I get? Well, I bust my hump at school all day... and you just sit around here watching soap operas and eating bonbons.

Ashley · Carlton:Wait a minute. We sound like an old married couple. So now I'm old.

Carlton · Ashley:No, you ate them all without offering me one. Can't have my toothpick, either. Did I ask you?

Ashley · Carlton · Ashley:What's the magic word? Now. Guess again.

Ashley:See, that's exactly why fathers ain't allowed at the mall.

Philip · Ashley:Prince who? See, that's exactly why fathers ain't allowed at the mall.

Ashley:Hilary, this is your sister, Ashley.

Ashley:Suck it up, and get on with your life!

Ashley:I had no idea how much Mary was suffering.

Ashley:I know. I look great naked.

Ashley:Put your hands up. Step away from the chips.

Geoffrey · Ashley:And doing a wonderful job, I might add. Shut up, Geoffrey.

Ashley:Oh, by the way, I dented the Mercedes.

Ashley · Phil:Did you ever have one of those days when you just don't feel pretty? No.

Ashley:Oh, that's real comforting coming from my father.

Ashley · Hilary:You mean, you've had nights where you felt fat and ugly? Okay, so I don't know exactly what you mean.

Ashley:Nice? I look like Honey, I Shrunk the Hilary.

Ashley:Hello, Robert? Listen, I can't go. I got stuck babysitting my little brother. Yeah, me too. Well, bye.

Will · Ashley:Ashley, where did you learn to lie like that? Mom taught me.

Will · Ashley · Hilary:Don't worry, Ash, there are plenty of men in the sea. You mean fish in the sea. No, I mean men, fish don't own yachts.

Ashley · Hilary:I didn't feel comfortable having Robert see me like that. I hope you're not mad. Ashley, you're my baby sister. I love you.

Ashley · Will:Daddy never gave Hilary a curfew. - He was probably hoping she wouldn't come back.

Will · Ashley:Look, Ashley, listen. Guys are only after two things. - I thought they were only after one. - Well, yeah, but they wanna do it more than once.

Ashley · Uncle Phil:The Menendez brothers will be free before I am. - The Menendez brothers got home on time.

Ashley:Your second song on your third album is so cool. Who was Omar? Is he your boyfriend?

Ashley:Oh, God.

Ashley:This is not going to help my reputation.

Ashley:Boys will not even come near me... at school without having a lawyer present.

Ashley:Will, the last time daddy drove me and my date to the movies... he wound up sitting in the two seats behind us.

Ashley:Yeah, I know what you're saying. I'm doomed.

Phil · Ashley:Free Willy. Beethoven's 2nd? The Return of the Care Bears? - Oh, that was my first choice.

Ashley:Probably the same thing you were saying to girls when you were his age.

Bryan · Ashley:Hey, look, if I make this putt, you got to promise me that you'll... Oh, Will.

Ashley:Hole in one, yes! My first one ever.

Ashley:Hole in one, yes! My first one ever.

Bryan · Ashley · Will:That bird just doodied on your head. Will, I got a hole in one. Oh, you'll do better next time, baby.

Will · Ashley:I got a idea. Hey, how about we switch partners. You go down there and play with... - Samantha. - Thanks a lot, Ashley.

Ashley · Bryan:Gosh, it's getting warm out here. - Why don't you take your jacket off?

Ashley:Thanks, but I'll risk it.

Ashley:Will, what are you doing?

Ashley · Will:Will, how could you do this to me? To you? Ashley, I'm doing this for you.

Will · Ashley:Look, let me make it better. I'm gonna buy you some ice cream. No, I don't want anything. You're worse than daddy.

Ashley:Will, maybe I like cheese.

Ashley:I just paid a 10 dollar cover to spend Valentine's Day with my parents.

Ashley:It's clear your teenage daughter is not enjoying the tedious board game...being played in a forced family-bonding moment. What do you do?

Ashley · Uncle Phil:College isn't for everyone, and if Will is happy I think we should all be happy for him. / Ashley, go to your room.

Ashley · Carlton:I give it three weeks. The marriage or her parole?

Ashley:Now, you listen here, Mr. Park-Ranger- Psychic-Friends-Network-freak.

Uncle Phil · Ashley:Ashley, go to your room. - Oh, I love this!

Ashley · Hilary:Hilary, you can't even make change. Oh, yeah? Well, you can't even make... Oh, shut up.

Ashley · Will:You mean he's your... / Yeah, that's right. He's my Lou.

Ashley:Then why'd you run out on him?

Ashley · Will:My father would kill me if he knew I was out with a boy tonight. I told him I was going to church. / The Lord is good.

Ashley · Will:Well, you are pretty slick, Will Smith. / And, I ain't even oiled up yet, you know.

Will · Ashley · Will:Now, listen, Uncle Phil could put that money in the bank, right... and then start getting all kinds of crazy interest. Then it's bonds, and then there's that T-bill stuff... and then they got some certificates, and then junk be compounded. / What are you talking about? / I have no idea.

Ashley:A lot more than you, Carlton.

Robert · Ashley · Robert:Can I blow in your ear? / Why? / I don't know, I heard Will say it.

Will · Carlton · Ashley:Hey, Ashley, you ain't telling me that dude blew in your ear. / Me either. / I embellished.

Ashley · Carlton:Ashley's song interrupts Carlton's rambling story

Ashley:So young, so bitter.

Ashley:I would have been happy paying you a token salary while someone else did the real work.

Ashley:And, face it, you're small potatoes.

Ashley · Will:How much is 15 percent of nothing? / It's... Okay, 15. Hold up, 15, carry the zero. Fifteen... / Nothing, you math whiz.

Ashley:Well, it's nice to know my family was rooting for me to fail.

Ashley:Come on, Nicky, let's go upstairs before Daddy's head explodes.

Ashley · Will:Oh, don't worry, Mom, it only happened once. You meant Nicky, didn't you?

Will · Ashley:Yeah, Shaft. And how did you feel when you found out that Shaft wasn't real? What are you talking about?

Will · Ashley:No, I'm saying, he was based on an actual guy. No, he wasn't. He was too, Ashley. Shaft is fictional, Will. I'm saying, he went to Africa and everything.

Will · Ashley:No, I'm saying, he went to Africa and everything. / Shaft is fictional, Will. / I'm saying, he went to Africa and everything.

Phil · Ashley:Ashley. / What? / You're in neutral.

Hilary · Ashley:Ooh, cute boy, 3 o'clock. Ha, ha. / Keep your eyes on the road.

Hilary · Ashley:Stop. / What? / Cartier's having a sale. Pick me up in an hour.

Ashley · Phil:Well, what do you think? / It's... It's a... Blue.

Ashley:These are my role models.

Ashley:Everything's so fake at Bel-Air Academy. The teachers, the kids, the noses.

Ashley · Will:When we go shopping for my cap and gown. That's assuming that you're gonna live till graduation.

Ashley:It's like a drug, Will, and you got me hooked.

Ashley:I'm a terrible, terrible person. [SOBBING]

Will · Ashley:What? You smiled. I saw your reflection in the window.

Ashley:Oh, no. That was a happy smile. See?

Ashley:But if I go down, I'm taking you with me.

Ashley · Will:Will has something he wants to tell you. I ain't got nothing.

Carlton · Phil · Ashley:CARLTON: Freeloader. PHIL: Undependable. ASHLEY: He's not a freeloader. CARLTON: Lazy.

Carlton · Ashley:No, he's not wacky. No. / She did not mean that. / No, I mean, you're an irresponsible lazy bum, but you're not...

Ashley:Hilary, I'm in school.

Ashley:He was a linebacker, Uncle Phil

Ashley:A hundred and eight and I'm not as innocent as I look. All right, I am

Will · Ashley · Nicky:Will's stammering explanation about guys growing beards and women growing... taller

Ashley:I'm scared to touch anything. I don't wanna pull anything out

Ashley:And I don't think what you're doing is good for anybody.

Ashley · Will:You know, this precludes any possibility of us getting together. To do what?

Will · Ashley:D-U-M-P-E-D. 'Dumped.' And you also made 'lonely,' 'shocked' and 'pathetic.'

Ashley:That small, huh?

Ashley:Thanks, Will. In the morning, I'll set it on dark and it'll meet me at school.

Ashley:God help us. You'd think a guy who eats so much... would at least know his way around the kitchen.

Hilary · Ashley:I'll wear leather. Why don't you just wear hot pants and a bustier with two big cones on it?

Ashley:I'm definitely the Marilyn Munster of this family.

Ashley:Well, when I'm nervous... I put a bag over my head and breathe very deeply.

Ashley:By the time I regain consciousness... I've forgotten everything I was worried about.

Will · Ashley:That's how I eat them. [ASHLEY SIGHS]

Ashley:So what, you and Lisa have no place to live. And no money in the bank. And a crummy dead-end job. Heh.

Ashley:Oh, wait. That would be me.

Ashley:You'll always be able to make a living. You do own a squeegee, don't you?

Carlton · Ashley:Got that right. / Isn't this great? / I told Daddy the soaps aren't predictable.

Ashley:Sure, my bike has a basket.

Ashley:I've replaced all the video tapes with insect documentaries.

Ashley · Ashley:I wasn't thinking about his butt. - Hey, I am now.

Ashley:No problem. To put over my head.

Ashley · Hilary:I'm gonna go practice my swing. - I have better things to do.

Ashley:I don't care, you still have to pay a luxury tax.

Ashley · Uncle Phil:Will a week cover it? Better make it two. Two's good.

Ashley · Will:Has anyone seen my black leotard? / That ain't funny.

Ashley:I'm sure all the kids at school wanna know what an assistant talent coordinator does.

Phil · Carlton · Ashley:Family's mass exodus from healthy breakfast

Ashley:No. No. Carlton, it's Career Day. You don't even have a job.

Ashley:Mind? Ha! They practically write out the guest list.

Ashley:Don't worry, he's part of the cleaning crew.

Ashley:Daddy, you don't do that, do you?

Ashley · Phil · Will:Mom, Dad said it's okay for me to use your car tonight. I didn't say that. Those weren't your exact words, Uncle Phil, but you kind of did imply that...

Ashley:Derek, you'll get in. You're too smart. I wish you were dumber.

Ashley:I'd have a boyfriend again.

Ashley:Together?

Philip · Ashley:Makeup? Keep away from that blue eye shadow.

Ashley · Hilary:Any regrets? Didn't I tell you he was buff? Hello.

Ashley · Hilary:What did Daddy say when you told him? Are you kidding? He still thinks I'm a virgin.

Ashley · Keesha:Okay, what do you think? Nope.

Ashley:Well, if you guys don't pick one, I'll be going on this date wearing a headband.

Keesha · Ashley:When? If.

Ashley:Keesha, it's not 'doing it.' It's making love. And, yes, I think we're gonna do it tonight.

Ashley:You know, I would expect this from Carlton...but not you.

Derek · Ashley:So, heh, what do you wanna do now? I don't know. Miniature golf? Let's do it. Golf.

Ashley · Will:Back off, Will. You telling me to back off, girl? Hold up. Now, this is me.

Ashley · Will:You remember the first time I asked you about sex? You panicked then too. I did not. Yes, you did. You said that you needed to have a license to have sex...and that I couldn't even take the test until I was 35.

Ashley:I'd switch plates with Carlton.

Ashley:Like Mickey, only without the big white gloves.

Ashley · Helen:I can't wait to get elbow deep in them turkey gizzards. Honey, you need to get cable.

Ashley · Helen:Just because I'm a woman, I'm suppose to don an apron on Thanksgiving? I don't think so. Well, I guess somebody burned their training bra.

Will · Ashley:Aunt Helen, you ever heard of traveling light? And that's probably just her makeup.

Ashley:Holidays are the reason they should've passed the ERA.

Ashley · Carlton:It makes it look cheesy... and I won't have it on my tree. - Oh, your tree?

Ashley:Oh, please. Your side looks like someone threw up on a snowman.

Ashley:Your side? Please. I've seen better looking trees hanging from rearview mirrors.

Ashley:You're an idiot.

Ashley:Well, at least I didn't get beat up by a girl.

Ashley:Well, at least I didn't get beat up by a girl.

Ashley · Will:Oh, please. I hate my job. It's dirty. It's demeaning. I have to work for a bunch of ingrates. - You'll get used to it.

Jewel · Ashley:Young lady, you will never serve lunch in this town again. - Is that a promise?

Ashley:Just this old guy that comes in here with a Polaroid.

Ashley:You know, he'll stop that once you get him fixed.

Ashley:No, thanks to you, I'll be working at Dippity Do Dog until I'm dippity dead.

Ashley:I'll be working at Dippity Do Dog until I'm dippity dead.

Ashley:I think you've been smoking a little bit too much of that cat nip.

Ashley:Once upon a time a little girl could've been a supermodel... but her parents got divorced and she lost it all. The end. Wanna hear another?

Ashley · Phil:Exercise would do you good. / Was that a fat joke?

Ashley:How cute, Daddy. I'd have to live there, of course.

Frank · Ashley:I'll be there at 7. I'll be there at noon. Feel free to have a bagel while you wait.

Ashley:You got into him. You're the rat that dimed me out.

Ashley:You don't like rat. How about snake? Weasel? Doody-head?

Ashley:Mama. It's 'mama,' Ashley. Mama. It's 'your mama.'

Ashley:You go, girl.

Ashley:Your outfit was too loud.

Ashley:Great, maybe then I'll wind up with a mother who can hit a decent backhand.

Ashley:Well, let me say it louder then.

Hilary · Ashley:Ashley, you've never been this happy for me. I still haven't been. This is about me.

Uncle Phil · Ashley · Vivian:I've decided... Are you ready for this? ... to let you move to New York. But, Daddy... Honey, honey, let him have this one.

Ashley · Vivian · Will:Mom, how old are you? / Younger than your father. / But everything's younger than Dad.

Ashley · Hilary:I don't think so. We agreed I could pick out the colors. / We agreed that you would have input. / That's right, and I'm inputting these colors into our apartment. / My apartment.

Hilary · Ashley:And I just changed my mind, you'll have no input whatsoever. / This is gonna be so much fun, us living together.

Ashley · Phil:Then what's the point of moving? / Can I have that one back?

Ashley · Carlton · Hilary:What if I meet somebody and they invite me to their house? / Well, what if I meet somebody? / Well, what if she meets somebody?