Burnin Down The House

Will:Hey, look, Uncle Phil, no disrespect, man... but you got to watch where you parking that thing.

Will:Man, you know, get some flashing lights or some horns or something.

Will:I'm gonna just go ahead and shut up now.

Carlton:Thanks a lot for sending me to Young Republicans Camp. Yosemite's really neat. Hey, I'm rooming with Newt's nephew, Fig.

Uncle Phil:I wouldn't make fun of them. These kids are the future leaders of this country.

Will:Please, me miss Carlton? Pfft. I forgot all about him. [beat] Did he say when he coming back?

Will:Did he say when he coming back?

Will:What say we go hook something up now? I'll help you practice.

Hilary:Help me cook? You must really be bored.

Hilary:I mean, it's bad enough that she gets hookers for married men... but blue eye shadow? Hello.

Will:Yeah, you know, that is a little stank.

Geoffrey:Imagine that.

Will:It's a couple of these other rabble-rousers you need to be worried about.

Geoffrey:Oh, dear God.

Hilary:Well, the only way you're gonna wear this one is if you wear that one over it.

Will:Bored! Yes. Yes, I'm bored. I'll do anything with anybody. Now, somebody ask me to do something.

Ashley · Hilary:I'm gonna go practice my swing. - I have better things to do.

Will:You're getting a little freaky in your old age, huh, Uncle Phil?

Will:You know, this is your last chance to make that a fifthsome.

Will:He'll call.

Geoffrey:I'm afraid that ship has sailed.

Hilary:Geoffrey can't be bothered trying to teach a moron to cook. Right, Geoffrey?

Hilary:I never knew bananas were so flammable.

Will:I can't flambé.

Will:Voilà in reverse.

Ashley:I don't care, you still have to pay a luxury tax.

Will:My house is on fire. I have to leave now.

Will:Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

Will:Mama, no!

Will:Our work here is done.

Will:Black folks ain't supposed to cook flambé. You stupid.

Will:Hey, guys, sissy boy been cooking flambé.

Will:And I poofed the kitchen down.

Geoffrey:Farewell. - Cheerio.

Will:Halston? Whoa, this is my stop.

Will:You the one been out there swinging them golf clubs all day, you know what I mean?

Will:Man, Uncle Phil got some books. Britannica, Webster's, Playboy.

Geoffrey:Isn't that a pronoun that would include me?

Will:Because murderers, they're felons, and felons, they can't be judges.

Will:We should all just share the wealth, man.

Will:Excellent judgment, you know what I'm saying? He got good judgment. Ain't that just like a judge? He a good judge.

Geoffrey:I don't know. Lack of a kitchen?

Will:Ixnay on the Indian food. Judge can't take spicy.

Will:If I got to hose down some poultry to pull this off, that's what I'm gonna do.

Geoffrey:Don't make me choose. Red or brown? Ooh...

Carlton:Do you ever wonder what makes your skin stay on?

Judge Walker:Oh, sweet mama. Now, that's chicken.

Carlton · Will · Carlton:Oh, thank God you're all right. / What are you doing here? / When Will told me the kitchen was on fire I didn't know what to expect.

Judge Walker:You were able to prepare a magnificent meal like that in there?

Judge Walker:And this man will have you on the Supreme Court in no time.

Will · Uncle Phil:You gonna let me go anytime soon? - No, Will. - That's cool.