Election results are in and Philip fights to remain cool amid lies by Judge Robertson, which prompt Will to confront the outspoken incumbent. Will Will go to far? Will he say what everyone is feeling? Will Judge Robertson be able to take it?
WAR
67.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Asses To Ashes” ranks #1 of 148 The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.0 — Elite. The episode packs 57 scored jokes at 3.2 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Will landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Hilary · Philip: where do you stand on a woman's right to choose the restaurant? / I think we should leave that up to the Supreme Court.
Carlton · Philip · Robertson: Carl... / I thought I was Carl. / I'm Philip. / And I am the walrus.
Will: And I'll tell you another thing, if you don't like it, man, you can drop dead.
Will Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Vivian: Philip, you know, I really hate to speak ill of the dead... but if that little man hadn't died I would have killed him myself.
Vivian Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Funeral attendee: The jerk sentenced me to six months in jail for a crime I didn't commit. I'm just here to make sure he dead.
All Jokes — 57 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Will: What, a Pizza Hut in the garage?
Will Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Carlton: Hello, is President Bush there?
Will: Carlton, are you by any chance an idiot?
Will Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Carlton: I'm in a position to scratch his back if he'll scratch mine, capische?
Carlton Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Geoffrey: I've been saving that genteel pleasure to calm myself lest I get too giddy from scrubbing the john.
Geoffrey Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Will · Geoffrey: You know, you really need a woman, G. / What's a woman?
Philip · Hilary: All right, Hilary, how much do you want? / No, I'm talking about... Well, $100.
Hilary · Philip: where do you stand on a woman's right to choose the restaurant? / I think we should leave that up to the Supreme Court.
Geoffrey: Self magazine... Shape magazine... and Sassy magazine. And for you, sir, Elf magazine... Ape magazine... and Sissy magazine.
Carlton · Vivian: But Dad, aren't some of those lies? / Carlton, honey, they're all lies.
Will · Philip: Uncle Phil, let me tell you a little story. / Oh, no.
Will Character Comedy Observational Philip · Will: So, this story is about you, isn't it, Will? / That's right, Uncle Phil. And to this day I just thank God I had my two-headed coin... 'cause that girl was smoking, man.
TV criminals: If Banks gets into office, we won't have to hide anymore... this city's ours!
Will: He like begging, he like, 'Philip Banks, kick my butt.' / Philip Banks, kick the man's butt.
Will Character Comedy Escalation Philip · Vivian: Because it goes against everything I stand for. / What's your point?
Philip: I have faith in L.A. That L.A. will have faith in me. / ...Judge Robertson has overwhelmingly defeated Philip Banks. / I hate L.A.
Philip Irony/Sarcasm Misdirection Philip: Well, once when I was a kid I zipped my pants up too fast... let's just say this brings back old memories.
Philip Setup/Punchline Observational Trevor Collins: So tell me, are you free for dinner tonight?
Hilary · Reporter: Look, my father just lost an election. I mean, I'm not totally insensitive. / How about tomorrow? / Great.
Will: Damn! Uncle Phil, I got your back. Well, I got like half your back 'cause your back's like...
Will Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Carlton · Philip · Robertson: Carl... / I thought I was Carl. / I'm Philip. / And I am the walrus.
Judge Robertson: There goes Philip Banks... the biggest sap that ever lived. What a stooge.
Robertson: Really? And what would that be? A buffet?
Will: And I'll tell you another thing, if you don't like it, man, you can drop dead.
Will Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Will: Oh, my God, he's dead. / Come on, man, if I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?
Will Dark/Subversive Callback Callback Will · Will: Oh, my God, he's dead. / Come on, man, if I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?
Will Will Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hilary · Carlton: Well, Will, you really knocked them dead the other night, huh? / Don't get him mad, Mom. You don't want to make him raise his voice.
Carlton: Don't get him mad, Mom. You don't want to make him raise his voice.
Carlton Callback Dark/Subversive Callback Carlton: I did it last week, it's the Terminator's turn.
Carlton Callback Character Comedy Callback Carlton: Simple. Thanks to the Grim Reaper over here... and Judge Robertson taking the old dirt nap...
Carlton Dark/Subversive Wordplay/Pun Callback Carlton: The phone's dead, Will.
Carlton Callback Wordplay/Pun Callback Carlton: Look, I think I know how to help Will. This calls for tough love. We've gotta draw him out. We've gotta bait him, confront him... attack him until he defends himself.
Carlton Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Carlton: Look, I think I know how to help Will. This calls for tough love.
Carlton Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Carlton · Hilary: Will, you should be ashamed of yourself. How could you do such a thing? Hope you never get mad at me.
Will: Why are y'all screaming at me? I was minding my damn business eating some fruit.
Will Character Comedy Escalation Carlton: Well, I could be wrong.
Carlton Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Philip · Vivian: You won't believe this. They want me to give the eulogy at Judge Robertson's funeral. / Philip, you know, I really hate to speak ill of the dead... but if that little man hadn't died I would have killed him myself.
Vivian: Philip, you know, I really hate to speak ill of the dead... but if that little man hadn't died I would have killed him myself.
Vivian Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Vivian · Philip: Philip, any chance of getting those flowers after the funeral? / Sit down, Vivian.
Philip: He was a judge. A judge named Carl. But he was more. So much more. Carl... He wasn't a very heavy man.
Philip Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch Funeral attendee: The jerk sentenced me to six months in jail for a crime I didn't commit. I'm just here to make sure he dead.
Funeral attendee: The jerk sentenced me to six months in jail for a crime I didn't commit. I'm just here to make sure he dead.
Robertson's mistress: With him it was just a bunch of... sex all the time, like dating Thumper.
Robertson's mistress quoting Robertson: When you gonna bring your sister around?
Funeral attendee: The man's idea of sweet talk was: 'When you gonna bring your sister around?'
Will: I'm the dude that killed him.
Will Callback Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Hilary: And hell is like the Valley.
Hilary Observational Character Comedy Philip: I think we're all damn lucky Hilary has a job.
Hilary · Philip: What do you think, Daddy? / I think we're all damn lucky Hilary has a job. / Thanks, Daddy.
Philip: I think we're all damn lucky Hilary has a job.
Philip Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Will: See, it's like I can have a leg in one hand and a breast in the other.
Will Observational Character Comedy Will: See, it's like I can have a leg in one hand and a breast in the other.
Will Observational Character Comedy Geoffrey: I think I must have been very bad in a previous life.
Geoffrey Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Will: Why are y'all screaming at me? I was minding my damn business eating some fruit. / You screamed at me.
Will Callback Escalation Callback Will: Why are y'all screaming at me? I was minding my damn business eating some fruit. You screamed at me.
Will Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Carlton · Will: Well, I could be wrong. / What in the hell did you just do with your lips?
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