Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1

Vivian · Philip:Philip, did you get too close? I don't know, Vivian, is four feet too close?

Will:Five months this Tuesday.

Will:Thin walls.

Philip:There are priests laughing at me.

Geoffrey:I'll get the wheelbarrow, sir.

Vivian:He's bluffing.

Will:D.J. Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. Nick in the house.

Will:Hey, you know, another month, he'll be bigger than Carlton.

Will:No, no, that was yesterday. I told you that boy wasn't ready for Jurassic Park yet.

Jazz · Vivian:I brought a gift for baby Dicky. - Nicky. - Yeah. - Thank you. - Whatever.

Jazz:You know, Ms. Banks, since you had that baby... there's something different about you.

Vivian · Will:Here, Will. Thank you, Jazz, very much.

Will:Jazz, this thing says 'Wendy Beth' on it.

Jazz:So? When you buy a wallet, doesn't it have someone else's picture in it first?

Will · Jazz:Jazz, you stole this pillow. It's the thought that counts.

Philip:What? Be banned for life from The Gap?

Carlton:Oh, check it out. The candy store actually sells candy.

Carlton:He says it's time for me to leave the nest, become independent... and have sex with girls. Safe sex, mind you, but lots of it.

Philip:Excuse me. Is this what you've been telling my boy? That life is one big orgy.

Philip:College is hard work, son. Followed by a family, which is even more hard work. And a teenage daughter who doesn't wanna be seen with you in public. And a wife who won't let you anywhere near her. And a butler who may be the father of your child.

Philip:I'm sorry, Hilary Banks? You know, fate works in mysterious ways. For years, I've been trying to get her to move out of the house and now... when I'm gonna be alone, she is my salvation.

Hilary:This morning, as he was leaving the pool house. I mean, this morning on the phone.

Will · Vivian:You certainly ain't wasting no time getting a gown. Mom and Dad bought this for me when I hit puberty. One down, three to go.

Philip · Hilary:Are you in love with Trevor? What's love got to do with it? I'm having a wedding.

Hilary:I already did. I'm going to register at Tiffany's.

Will:Hey, back off, Ike. We're having a wedding.

Will:Sounds like a match to me.

Will · Carlton:Carlton, how you feel about the Lust Channel? I think it's 24 hours of shallow, pointless nudity. You heard the bird. We'll take it.

Will:Word? I didn't know RuPaul lived in L.A.

Carlton:I bet she could toss me around this room.

Carlton:So no one's ever said that to me... except my dentist.

Will · Mr. Gorodetsky:You don't live here? Are you kidding?

Carlton:I don't keep friends. In time of war, they can be tortured and give up valuable secrets about you.

Carlton · Will:Are you nuts? I'm not bringing her within a hundred yards of you. What? Carlton, I'm your cousin, man. The cousin who stole every woman I ever had. Oh, please, I stole one girl. My point exactly.

Will:As far as I'm concerned, she's just a man with breasts. She does have breasts, doesn't she?

Philip · Ashley's boyfriend:This is a stick with a snake wrapped around it. It's a symbol, like Prince. Prince who?

Ashley:See, that's exactly why fathers ain't allowed at the mall.

Philip · Ashley:Prince who? See, that's exactly why fathers ain't allowed at the mall.

Philip:It's a symbol for 'get out of my house!'

LaTanya · Carlton:Really? How long? It's going on five hours.

Will:Jacqueline is his imaginary friend.

Party crasher reading flyer:It's the rump-baking, booty-shaking... don't miss the mix in apartment 206.

Carlton:How do you know? All the letters is cut out of magazines.

Party crasher:Not old dude with the flashlight. He carries a whistle too.

Carlton:It also looked like Loni and Burt had a good marriage.

Jacqueline · Carlton:Filet mignon? Thanks, but I don't eat red meat. I'll give it up too.

Jacqueline · Carlton:It'd be my first dance with a brother from Bel-Air. Better take the opportunity. There aren't too many of us.

Carlton · Jacqueline:Bobby Vinton, the Polish Prince. Well, I have some Manilow if you prefer. No, the Polish Prince will do just fine.

Carlton:No, no, no!

Will:Go, peacock. Go, peacock. Go, peacock.