Bullets Over Bel Air

Nicky:Why do you shave and Ashley doesn't?

Will · Ashley · Nicky:Will's stammering explanation about guys growing beards and women growing... taller

Uncle Phil:And some vessels just stay empty

Hilary:Rich People's Digest

Will:Yeah, if you're a hotel in Vegas

Carlton:Simple, Will, some of us are born owls and some of us are born mules. Guess which one you are.

Will:Well, I must be one of them owl-killing mules, then

Will:Them arches better not be golden

Uncle Phil:Great, I'm gonna go stuff my fanny pack

Will:Looks like somebody beat him to it

Will:I tried to tell puny the bear this is too much stuff

Will · Carlton:I mean, come on, why are we taking wood? / Hello? Campfire?

Will:How many Uncle Phils?

Will:There was a raft in that box

Carlton:It had a built-in bug zapper

Will · Carlton:The rapid-fire price negotiation ending with 'You got a deal, Daffy'

Hilary:Well, those white sheets can get so dingy. Don't you have any nice pastels?

Hilary:Well, what about television? He's not gonna just have basic cable, is he?

Hilary:And what is Prozac anyway? I mean, do you think I need this?

Will:However, I will be doing my banking by mail from now on

Will:Knowing my luck, I'll run into a disgruntled postal worker

Will:Well, it ain't as bad as the last time Geoffrey made chili

Hilary:I hate this generic stuff. I'm gonna get you an Evian

Ashley:I'm scared to touch anything. I don't wanna pull anything out

Will:Psych.

Will:I did? I was just trying to get the hell out the way

Carlton:Don't tell me any more fairy tales

Will:Don't go peeking at my stuff, Mom

Will:I see there's a new pillow fluffer in town, huh?

Will:Ow! Ooh, psych, psych, psych

Vy:Well, if it stops beeping, you're gonna sleep a lot longer than you planned

Will:Well, you know how they say a paper cut is the worst kind of pain? Eh! Eh! Wrong.

Will:Did you hear the one about the black dude that got shot at the ATM?

Will:Oh, no, this is What's Happening!! I know all these jokes by heart.

Will:Oh, check it out, look, look, look. [IMITATES DWAYNE] Hey, hey, hey. [IMITATES DEE] Oh, Dwayne, Rerun ate my mama's cake. [IMITATES RERUN] Ooh. Dee, Dee, please don't tell your mama I ate her cake. [IMITATES DEE] Okay, Rerun, for Dee right price.

Will:Oh, that ain't nothing. You should see my Webster.

Vy:What exactly do you want her to see?

Vy:You always dream about Shaka Zulu?

Will:No, I'll thank Jazz later

Will:See, even if you stood right in front of me... he still could have hit me from my belly button up

Will:Well, uh... you could talk to Uncle Phil about, you know, sliding me into his will. Forty, 50 G's, you know?

Will:A brother get shot, he get a little emotional

Will · Carlton:What are you gonna do with that? / It's for protection. / Carlton. Whoa, man. What, do you think it's that easy to just shoot somebody? / I'll close my eyes.

Will:I was gonna eat that, man

Will:That's not you, man, that's them

Will:I saved your life, man. I saved your life. You owe me!