A Decent Proposal

Will:Remind me to never get shot again.

Jazz:It's always hard the first time. I remember mine.

Jazz:I'd forgotten how much Jewel hates anchovies on her pizza.

Hilary:Nurse Sigmund has on the exact same outfit.

Will:I'm sure my arm won't feel a thing.

Will:[SCREAMS]

Jazz:Check it out, Will. I'm the black dude on ER.

Jazz:It doesn't have to be a toy to be fun. Check this out. Clear. [SCREAMING THEN CRASH]

Will:Oh, cool, because I never could before.

Will:Yeah, I fell, unh... in love with you, baby.

Lisa:Will, did you take another one of those yellow pills?

Will:I can give you this one around my collar.

Will · Lisa:WILL & LISA: Don't touch that!

Hilary:Oh, it's not their fault. They're setting up for your surprise party. Well, now that you dragged it out of me.

Hilary:There has got to be an easier way to call the nurse.

Ashley:And I don't think what you're doing is good for anybody.

Carlton:Oh, I love you too, Will.

Will:Go sit down.

Ashley · Will:You know, this precludes any possibility of us getting together. To do what?

Jazz:Her ex-cellmate broke out. They're having dinner.

Hilary:I mean, come on, I'm still decorating my new house. When would I have time to buy you a gift?

Vivian:Yeah, yeah, come here. My foot wants to congratulate your butt.

Philip:Well, now, just what exactly is 15 percent of a frozen burrito?

Will:Hey, I watch The Cosby Show too, Uncle Phil. This is that episode where Theo drops out of school, right? Yeah, well, a couple more Pudding Pops, you'll be there.

Vivian · Geoffrey:What's love got to do with it? GEOFFREY [SINGING]: Got to do with it, got to do with it

Jazz:[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] I'm okay. I'm okay.

Physical Therapist:My goodness, those doctors must have crossed some wires in there.

Lisa:Don't wanna get what? A ticket. I'm double-parked outside.

Will:See? It wasn't that hard, was it?

Will:See? It wasn't that hard, was it?

Will · Ashley:D-U-M-P-E-D. 'Dumped.' And you also made 'lonely,' 'shocked' and 'pathetic.'

TV Announcer:Next on Montel Williams... Women Who Won't Marry and the Losers Who Ask Them.

Will:Just make mine a single-sized serving.

Will:My God, man, I'm in a wheelchair.

Geoffrey:Sir, when you're finished eating, I've pre-pasted your toothbrush upstairs.

Geoffrey:Which reminds me. Lisa called.

Carlton:You are so accident-prone.

Will · Carlton:Every time I get around you, I wind up getting hurt. You are so accident-prone.

Hilary:Being in a wheelchair is no excuse... for wearing the same shirt two days in a row.

Hilary:You would think hitting the concrete like that would've made more of an impact.

Hilary · Will:Poor, poor... Tip of the tongue, Will. Please help me out. Trevor.

Will · Lisa:Well, stupid is as stupid does. Well, what is that supposed to mean? I don't know, but the movie made like a half a billion dollars.

Will:I don't know, but the movie made like a half a billion dollars.

Lisa:Baby, I don't wanna have to shoot you every six months just to hold on to you.

Will · Lisa:You wouldn't really bust a cap at me, though, would you? Not unless I have to.

Hilary:Tyler and I were saving it for our honeymoon. Trevor, Hilary. Right, Trevor, whatever.

Will · Everyone:[WILL YELLS] [SPLASH] [ALL SCREAM]