Fresh Prince After Dark

Hilary:They're gonna call it 'Warm Fronts.'

Carlton · Will:You heard our father: No! Carlton, what do you care?

Will:Now, now, don't get your Underoos in a knot, stumpy.

Will:Long afternoons kicking back on a chaise longue... watching full-body contact volleyball up at Hef's place.

Will:That's telling us, Dad.

Hilary:What were we talking about?

Will:Hil, I think you were in the process of storming out of here.

Will:Look like you got hat-jacked by Woody Woodpecker.

Will:Has it changed since we used to play doctor?

Jackie:Will, you just hit on me from force of habit.

Will:'Okay' is all right if I offered you a government cheese sandwich... but I'm offering you a buffet of love, child.

Will:You know what the evening leads... I'm sorry, I need to have that treated.

Ashley:I know. I look great naked.

Will:I guess I could kiss heaven goodbye... because it got to be a sin to look this good.

Hilary:You've been playing tennis with the gardener again, haven't you?

Will:I think you're still in the process of forgetting.

Will:Let me tell you, you're the best cousin a brother ever had.

Will:Well, hello, Hef. Oh, pshaw. Don't be silly. I'm glad I could come. Oh, Miss December. Oh, baby, I was gonna call you.

Geoffrey:if you can tear yourself away from your imaginary friend

Geoffrey:Tell me, might this young lady have a terminal illness?

Geoffrey:Then may I point out, she'll still be here tomorrow.

Will:Oh, they don't need you, G. They're fully staffed.

Will:Either that is one tight dress or a really good paint job.

Will:No, no, no, it's only the rest of his life. After them pictures come out, how much longer could he have?

Will:He's got issues in his bathroom from, like, 1964.

Will:Oh, look, the Little Republican Store must've opened.

Carlton:I'm not gonna miss out on Princeton... because she wants to expose her weather balloons.

Will:Carlton, I think Geoffrey's baking cookies.

Will:Boy gets hot and bothered talking to average-looking girls. Five minutes at the Mansion, he's gonna go into meltdown.

Will:Except the girls ain't got folds in the middle and jokes on their back.

Hilary:You're drooling on my pumps.

Will:Yeah, and your head is like a peanut.

Carlton:I have never seen so many people in one place... I wanted to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to.

Will:You who? Stop yodeling. Hugh Hefner.

Will:You def, Hef.

Will:Hey, Carlton, I gotta be honest, man, I forgot you was even here.

Jazz:They think I'm the black dude from Mod Squad.

Geoffrey:Too bad. They're not here.

Geoffrey:If you don't care where your children are, sir, neither do I.

Geoffrey:That one's on the house.

Vivian · Uncle Phil:How come you knew that and I didn't? Because they talk to me. Why don't they talk to me? Because you don't listen.

Will:Looks like everything on that body is in working order.

Doctor:I'm a cardiologist. You need a pediatrician.

Playboy Model:Very impressive. Now, do you remember my turnoffs? Hairy backs, smokers... and abrasive young men who don't know when to shut up. Bingo.

Playboy Model:Five years and six figures.

Carlton:I've got two numbers... and if I play my cards right, I think she'll give me the other five.

Carlton · Uncle Phil:Bunny hop! / What do you think you're doing? / The bunny hop.

Uncle Phil:My man, Linc.

Will:You know, actually, I had an allergic reaction... to bunnies.

Will:What kind of monster are you?

Will:Cinco de Mayo? Rosh Hashanah?

Vivian:In that case, I never would've married you.

Vivian:It was a tie between your family and your temper.

Uncle Phil:Look at that. She's covered up!

Uncle Phil:But this little girl is not.

Carlton:Look, I will not be publicly embarrassed... by a problem of delivering my damn lines. It won't happen, damn it. It ain't gonna happen.